Author Topic: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance  (Read 42592 times)

Offline CarlaMom2

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2006, 08:36:44 am »
JT  You are not alone.  I guess we'll both be wierd together  ;)

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2006, 02:29:41 pm »
I still think about this story EVERY day and its been 10 months.  Still get choked up when I think of the guys and their tragedy. 

Karen

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2006, 02:33:11 pm »
Karen, next October, I'll be celebrating 10 YEARS of Brokeholism!! There ain't no reins on this one!

Too much to do. . .I don't have time to get old!

Offline JT

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #33 on: December 12, 2006, 01:20:13 pm »
JT  You are not alone.  I guess we'll both be wierd together  ;)

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone, Carla.  It's good to be weird.

Last night I watched Brokeback Mountain again and try to compare it with "Titanic" on TBS the previous night.  There's no comparison.  "Titanic" was a good movie and got me a little sad for it's Jack (and what's her name?), but nothing hits me like BBM.  And yes, the tears flow again, for our Jack (and Ennis) of course.

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #34 on: December 12, 2006, 06:26:31 pm »
Last night I watched Brokeback Mountain again and try to compare it with "Titanic" on TBS the previous night.  There's no comparison.  "Titanic" was a good movie and got me a little sad for it's Jack (and what's her name?), but nothing hits me like BBM.  And yes, the tears flow again, for our Jack (and Ennis) of course.

A light hearted (albeit politically incorrect) review of Titanic from Shirley Q: http://www.phillipdampier.net/downloads/Titanic.mp3
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Offline Lynne

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #35 on: December 17, 2006, 04:50:38 am »
Well, I'm glad I'm not alone, Carla.  It's good to be weird.

Last night I watched Brokeback Mountain again and try to compare it with "Titanic" on TBS the previous night.  There's no comparison.  "Titanic" was a good movie and got me a little sad for it's Jack (and what's her name?), but nothing hits me like BBM.  And yes, the tears flow again, for our Jack (and Ennis) of course.

Carla/JT - y'all defiinitely not alone in this obsession, grief, journey.  We all want to be here to support each other.  Interestingly, I just saw Titanic again w/Mom because it was on and she'd never seen it.  No comparison at all really.  Titanic seemed to have such a heavy hand for manipulating your emotions - I felt more aggravation than sympathy.

And maybe that is the difference - Ang Lee manipulates our feelings, certainly, but it's so subtle we don't realize it - that 'light hand' that I've heard associated with him.  Both are epic tragedies but with BBM we can empathize, see ourselves in Jack and Ennis, whereas I don't feel any connection w/Jack and Rose.

Well, about stages of griief and acceptance, I bouce back and forth, but the general direction seems toward moving forward and healing.  Much credit goes to the community of support here, from which I draw strength.

Best,
Lynne
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Offline Faye92

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #36 on: December 17, 2006, 02:12:13 pm »
Hi everyone.
I am still trying to sort through how BBM impacted me. I am a 46 year old heterosexual woman who has been in waaaaay too many relationships that did not work out for whatever reason. There are many regrets that I have and I am still dealing with the what if's. I understood where Nancy was coming from as I read her comments earlier. I suppose most people see this film as dealing with homophobia in a small town, but to me, it is so much much more than that. Love is love whether it exists between 2 men, 2 women or a male and a female. It makes no difference and I am still disappointed in the fact that Ennis and Jack did not take that chance. They lost out on the possibility of sheer happiness for the sake of folk. 
I don't know what stage I am at right now. A liltte confused  ??? and ever searching I suppose!!!  :)

Faye


Offline Lynne

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #37 on: December 17, 2006, 02:44:10 pm »
Hey Faye,

Welcome to BetterMost - I'm glad you saw Nancy's earlier posts - they spoke to me the first time I read them too .  Take your time sorting through your feelings since BBM, confused and searching now and whatever comes;  you're here among friends, so you're in the right place to do it.  We are all still right there with you at one stage or another.

Quote
I suppose most people see this film as dealing with homophobia in a small town, but to me, it is so much much more than that. Love is love whether it exists between 2 men, 2 women or a male and a female. It makes no difference and I am still disappointed in the fact that Ennis and Jack did not take that chance. They lost out on the possibility of sheer happiness for the sake of folk.

On one level the film is about homophobia - how fear of admitting who he was to himself prevented Ennis from having a happy life, but there are so many layers upon layers to be explored.

One layer for me was to look at who I was when I was 19 and compare my 19-year-old hopes and dreams with the life I am living at 38.  Which paths were right and which led me away from being who I want to be?  I have a few answers - not all by any means - and still more questions.  But I am loving exploring them - finally facing some of the things I can't stand and trying to 'fix' them.

Welcome to the journey, Faye!
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline JT

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #38 on: December 17, 2006, 03:23:50 pm »
I love being with this crowd.  No matter who we are, we all found common ground in this movie.  The messenger of love in the movie maybe two men, but what they felt was very universal. 

Lynn, Faye, we're basically taking this journey together.  Hope you folks will find your path because I'm still searching for mine all these time, and yes, I enjoy exploring them too.

Offline Katie77

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Re: For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
« Reply #39 on: December 17, 2006, 06:49:24 pm »
Here is an essay written by Leslie (Maine Writer) back in January....for all the new Brokies here, I'm sure you will find it quite amazing..........

A New Clinical Entity: Brokeback Fever
By: Leslie H. Nicoll

   Forget Avian Flu. There’s a new disease sweeping the land, with the potential to infect millions of people and wreak havoc on the US economy through thousands of hours of lost worker productivity. It’s called Brokeback Fever.

   Brokeback Fever was first identified in 1997 when the short story, “Brokeback Mountain,” by author E. Annie Proulx, was published in The New Yorker. However, due to limited distribution and a small reading audience, the disease was kept in check. Now, with the release of the movie and its award winning status (Venice Film Festival, Critics Circle, Golden Globes, 8 Academy Award nominations, and numerous other accolades) it is likely that the disease will reach epidemic proportions in US and potentially, throughout the world.

   Epidemiologic study has identified the zero case as Diana Ossana, co-author (with Larry McMurtry) of the screenplay for the film. A self-described insomniac, Ossana read the story one sleepless night and in her words, “was weeping by the end, deep gut wrenching sobs.” This, in fact, is a classic symptom of Brokeback Fever.

   Ossana, in an effort to assuage her symptoms, optioned the story and wrote the screenplay with McMurtry. Through many long years, the story was always in the front of her mind. It is not known if release of the film has resolved Ossana’s illness. She has chosen not to publicly reveal that information.

   Brokeback Fever can be contracted in a variety of ways. Most common is reading the short story or seeing the movie. However, the illness has also been identified in people who have read about the movie, through reviews or interviews with those involved in its production, but have not yet seen the film. This latter form of infection has come about through the limited release strategy of the film’s distributor, Focus Features. It appears that indirect infection is no less virulent than the direct form of the disease.

   Symptoms include obsessive thinking about the movie/story, disturbed sleep patterns, weeping/sobbing, and a need to discuss it endlessly with family, friends, and co-workers. Some have reported physical symptoms, including aching joints, throbbing head, and a mild depression that can last for hours or days. Additional symptoms that have been identified include obsessive reading about the movie (reviews, interviews, etc), listening to the soundtrack repeatedly, and a desire to write fan letters to authors Proulx, Ossana, and McMurtry, director Ang Lee, and stars Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, and Anne Hathaway.

   It appears that Brokeback Fever afflicts men and women equally. It also appears to cut across all age groups. While some speculated that the subject matter of the film (a story of forbidden love between two cowboys in Wyoming) would appeal to a primarily gay demographic, sufferers of Brokeback Fever come from all walks of life. It seems that no one is immune from the disease.

   At present there is no cure. Sufferers describe a variety of interventions in an effort to ameliorate their symptoms. The most common seems to be repeat viewings of the film. In extreme cases, some sufferers have reported seeing the movie so many times that they have lost count of the number. Others report beating their own personal best for seeing a movie in a theater. For example, one sufferer declared, “The only other movie I have seen more than once in a theater is ‘Titanic,’ which I saw twice. But I have seen Brokeback Mountain three times, and plan to go again.” Sufferers have reported traveling great distances to see the film. An Irish sufferer traveled three hours by train (one way) and paid a 50 Euro train fare to see the movie on one of six screens in Dublin, the only place it was playing in his country.

   Sufferers report finding solace in discussion groups, especially on the Internet. There, a community of fellow sufferers provides comfort, support, and understanding. In particular, the Internet seems to provide an appropriate forum to assist with the need to discuss the story, movie, and its characters endlessly. Common discussions include the motivations and actions of the main characters, the ending (what really happened), and preferred scenes. Sufferers also quote favorite bits of dialogue to each other, play games, (eg “Cowboy Etiquette”), and develop elaborate backstories for all the characters. Tangentially, sufferers discuss technical aspects of making the movie and share information about the real-life performers who were in the film. A particularly intriguing discussion is about what special features should/will be included on the DVD. This seems to give sufferers full rein to imagine all the scenes that were not included in the final film, as well as to learn more about its entire production from beginning to end.

   Unfortunately, while the Internet does provide solace, for some, the ongoing discussion seems to “fuel the fever” and worsen the illness. For example, at the Internet Movie Database (IMDb; www.imdb.com), the “Brokeback Mountain” discussion board has close to 110,000 messages, with new messages being posted every few seconds. Discussions on other movies that were in theaters at the same time as “Brokeback Mountain” are not nearly as active, with 30,117 messages for “King Kong,” 22,803 for “The Chronicles of Narnia,” and 15,442 for “Munich.” “Titanic,” another blockbuster love story and Academy Award winner, clocks in with a paltry 8,833. Sufferers with the Internet-addiction form of Brokeback Fever have reported spending too much time on the discussion boards, to the point where they are missing work or school. One sufferer, a college student, acknowledged that even though the current semester started two weeks prior, she had yet to open a textbook. It must be noted that things could be worse—at least she bought her books!

   Sufferers seem to recognize the extent of their disease, and echoing a poignant line from the film (“I wish I knew how to quit you”), ask how to quit Brokeback Mountain. Solutions, however, are sparse. And while many profess a desire to “quit BBM” (in Internet parlance) it seems that they are truly enjoying the experience and want it to last, even though they recognize it is disrupting their lives.

   Because it is a new clinical entity, it is not known if Brokeback Fever is an acute or chronic illness, although the zero case, as noted above, has seemed to suffer from it for at least eight years. Ongoing data collection about the illness and its clinical presentation should help to clarify this point.

   If you, or a loved one, are suffering from Brokeback Fever, there are a few things you can do. First, be thankful that you acquired Brokeback Fever and not the clinically offensive “Grandma’s Boy Fever.” If you have to watch a movie multiple times, at least it is one of the best movies that has ever been put to film and stands up well to repeated viewings. Second, if you have been active in Internet discussions, you have likely made new friends. Broadening your social circle is always a good thing. Third, give yourself to the experience. Many sufferers have described the experience of seeing “Brokeback Mountain” as being life-changing and transcendent. They have used it as an opportunity to examine their lives, re-think decisions, and strengthen relationships. We often need a trigger to make us move forward. Who knows where these triggers come from? The fact that this movie has reached so deeply into the hearts and minds of so many people speaks to its power to transform. So, rather than fighting the feeling, give yourself to it and see if it brings about positive change. Finally, be patient. Time is always a great healer. It is probable that the symptoms of Brokeback Fever will slowly subside, eventually becoming a warm spot in your heart and a very special memory in your mind.

   And rejoice in this fact: rumor has it that the DVD will be released on April 4th!

Leslie H. Nicoll is a Registered Nurse and owner of Maine Desk, LLC in Portland, Maine. She admits to an advanced case of Brokeback Fever and reports seeing the movie six times, as of this writing. She undertook this clinical analysis in an effort to cure herself of the disease.

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection