Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND...........

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .  Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . . .  What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . . .  Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . . They don't have time

He said . . .  Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Dottie, where did you find all this info about Aussie men?!      

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Baaaaaaaaad dog!!!

[Sharon]

Thank ya kindly, Sharon.
Please feel free to post all your funnies here, Sharon. Funny pictures, cartoons, jokes. They're all welcome here.

Thank you Kerry for inviding me to post some funny stuff, but for the beginning I think I will look on you both
- King and Queen of comedy - for a while.
(The speed is very high here)

Kerry you are too kind. I prefer to think of us as in this together, more like the Clown Prince and Princess if your were   but I am touched and very pleased that I have been able to bring you a chuckle occassionally.   

Yes, Kerry and Dottie are the King and Queen of comedy in these parts Sharon.

And the rest of us come in here every now and then and laugh like fools.

The combination of both - Kerry and Dottie - makes this Klub to what it is.
                                      - WONDERFULL -

[dot-matrix]

LOST DOG




3 Legs, Blind in left Eye,

Missing Right Ear, Tail Broken,

Recently castrated...

Answers to the name of

"LUCKY".

[dot-matrix]

Is Anybody There?

This is the story about four people...

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and

Everybody was asked to do it.  Everybody was sure

Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it,

but Nobody did it.  Somebody got angry about that

because it was Everybody's job.  Everybody thought

Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that  

Everybody would not do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody

when actually Nobody asked Anybody.




 
.....Somebody

[dot-matrix]

Nurses Go to Heaven

Three nurses went to heaven, and were waiting a turn to plead their case to St. Peter to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven."

St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard."

St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

Puppy Porn

Shhheeeessshhh they're as bad as the kitties!     

[Kerry]

Thank you Kerry for inviding me to post some funny stuff, but for the beginning I think I will look on you both
- King and Queen of comedy - for a while.
(The speed is very high here)

The combination of both - Kerry and Dottie - makes this Klub to what it is.
                                      - WONDERFULL -

Thank ya kindly, Sharon. That was a very sweet thing to say.   

It's good to laugh! And therapeutic, too!