Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 325225 times)

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #140 on: February 08, 2007, 06:14:38 am »
--he saw it. Everythin’ slowed-- sharp heals hittin’ linolieum, the drip from the faucet, the tick of the old clock on the kitchen wall. Jack picked out the card from pile of the counter top. His hands shook. He turned it over as Laureen rushed through the door


This one was my favorite from this round. But hell, I liked them all. I love to see how many different ways you can think of to use the prompts each day.

I had an idea for yesterdays prompts, too. But somehow I got carried away and what I wrote can't be called a drabble by any means. It's too long and not finished yet. I'll post it on another thread when I'm halfways content with it.

Looking forward to todays drabbles (and hopefully I can participate again).

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #141 on: February 08, 2007, 07:18:49 am »
Good morning everyone!

I am in a "f" mood this morning, so give these three f prompts a whirl:

  • fajita
  • finicky
  • friend

Leslie
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Offline Brokeback_Dev

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #142 on: February 08, 2007, 09:23:34 am »
"Good morning sleepy head" Ennis said as he slipped is arms around Jack's waist.  They fit together perfectly as they lay there spooning, nothing could feel more like heaven Ennis thought to himself.  "Morning to you too cowboy". 

Today was their last day together after three blissful days spent together riding, swimming, fucking, and just plain enjoying each others company.  Ennis would go back to his life with Alma and the girls, and Jack back to Texas with his wife and baby.  They dreaded parting, but it could be no other way for them.

Later they headed into town where they would eat their last meal together 'out' at a restaurant.  A nice lil authentic  Mexican place Ennis found where he could take his finicky friend, Jack for fajitas.  Its gonna be a long 4 months till they could be together again.   

At last they parted with tear filled eyes hugging, whispering and kissing.  "I love you Ennis"  "I love you too Jack" and then they left in opposite directions.  Heart wrenching sadness filled each of them to the core as each started counting down the days till they would be together again.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2007, 09:34:43 am by brokeback_dev »

Scott6373

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #143 on: February 08, 2007, 09:51:37 am »
Jack sat at the dining room table, a half empty glass of whiskey and a Swanson frozen dinner in front of him.  He moved the now heated, brown Salisbury steak back and forth inside it’s silver tray, not wanting to eat, but knowing that he was drunk enough, that he should put something inside his liquid-filled stomach.  It was not his first choice of food.  He had a hankering for some Mexican:  fajitas perhaps, but knew he could never drive there, and the walk was too far.  He hated being left alone in this house, and Lureen seemed to be going to her parents more often, leaving him just that.  His marinated thoughts slipped back to Ennis, as they always did eventually.

“Aw friend…where are ya now friend?”  He allowed himself the luxury of speaking loudly in the otherwise empty house.  He paused over the word friend, realizing he could not use that word for anyone else in his life, and was not even sure what it meant.  He let the plastic fork fall into the food, where it quickly sank into the gray, gelatinous gravy, stood and walked to the book shelves that lined the walls on either side of the fireplace.  Reaching, he pulled the Webster dictionary down from its long forgotten place.  He flipped to the “f’s”. 

Friend:  Noun.  A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.  A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.  A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.  One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.

“Aw Ennis…where are ya now Ennis?”  He let his body slump into the chair, and sat, staring and blinking. 


282 words
« Last Edit: February 08, 2007, 09:57:37 am by Scott6373 »

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #144 on: February 08, 2007, 09:54:38 am »
"You forgot your sweater last time. " Ennis walked over to the closet and opened the door.

"What's this? Those shirts?" Junior asked.

A weary smile lit his face for a moment.

"Nothing, darlin'. Here ya go." He handed her the sweater.

Gentle as she was, she could also be quite stubborn. She got up and opened the closet herself, gazed at the shirts and the postcard.

"They're dirty. How old are they?"

"More than twenty years. Now close the door. Please"

"I never saw them before. Is this blood?" She took the hanger with the two shirts and placed it in front of Ennis on the table. Automatically his hand ran over the fabric, caressing the collar like he had done with Jack's earlobe countless times.

Slowly she sat beside him, her voice low when she spoke: "Tell me daddy."

"He was my friend. He was the best friend any man could ever have."

And then he told her. He couldn't tell her about his love for Jack, couldn't tell her the whole truth. But at least he could tell her what a fine man Jack was, tell her about elk and sheep, about fourteen hour long drives and how Jack always made him laugh. He owed it to Jack to tell her at least this.

In the end, he didn't tell her how the shirts had found their way into his closet, didn't tell her that the blood on them was his, but she didn't ask again. She understood.


250 words

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #145 on: February 08, 2007, 11:35:18 am »
Ennis was sitting on the step of his trailer, smoking a cigarette, when he saw Curt’s maroon Camaro coming down the road. He squinted and saw Junior at the wheel, and ambled over to her as she pulled into the yard.

“Daddy, you really need to get a phone,” she said, getting out of the car.

“What happened ta hello?” Ennis said, as he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Yes, of course, hello Daddy,” she said, returning the kiss and the hug. “I came by ta see if you want to go out for Mexican food with Curt n me tonight. There’s a new place in town that has really good fajitas.”

“Ah, thanks, honey, but I don’t really like Mexican food.”

Junior looked puzzled. “What do ya mean, Daddy? You used ta eat Mexican food, tacos and stuff.”

Ennis shrugged, “I dunno…it, it…gives me indigestion lately. Just don’t like it the way I used ta—brings back memories or somethin’. What say, we can go ta the Knife and Fork instead.”

“Oh, I’m so sick of that place and Curt really likes Mexican.”

“Well then honey, you just go along without me. I’ve got some leftovers, anyway, and you don’t want me hornin’ in on your good time.” He opened the car door and helped Junior back into the driver’s seat. “Thanks for the invite. Thanks for thinkin’ a me.”

“Sure thing,” said Junior, nodding. “And, Daddy, you really need ta get a phone.”

(250 words)

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Offline belbbmfan

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #146 on: February 08, 2007, 11:57:52 am »

“Ah, thanks, honey, but I don’t really like Mexican food.”

Junior looked puzzled. “What do ya mean, Daddy? You used ta eat Mexican food, tacos and stuff.”

Ennis shrugged, “I dunno…it, it…gives me indigestion lately. Just don’t like it the way I used ta—brings back memories or somethin’. What say, we can go ta the Knife and Fork instead.”

“Oh, I’m so sick of that place and Curt really likes Mexican.”

“Well then honey, you just go along without me. I’ve got some leftovers, anyway, and you don’t want me hornin’ in on your good time.” He opened the car door and helped Junior back into the driver’s seat. “Thanks for the invite. Thanks for thinkin’ a me.”


(250 words)



sigh, i can just imagine Ennis's face as he sits there alone having his leftovers for dinner, trying to push thoughts about Mexico out of his mind :(
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #147 on: February 08, 2007, 01:07:55 pm »
September 1967: Ennis couldn't take his eyes of the card. Friend, Be coming thru on the 24th..... His head flooded with thoughts of that summer on Brokeback with Jack, now no long held back. He was really going to see him again, Jack was gonna be here not some  distant memory taken from the back of his mind on rare occasion.

Friend. Ennis remembered the first time Jack called him that: That's more words that you said in the last two weeks... And the sad look on his face when he answered. Now he couldn't take his hand off the 5 cent postcard. Friend
« Last Edit: February 08, 2007, 01:41:47 pm by jpwagoneer1964 »
Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #148 on: February 08, 2007, 01:37:43 pm »
Love the prompts - looks like a busy morning!

....

At last they parted with tear filled eyes hugging, whispering and kissing.  "I love you Ennis"  "I love you too Jack" and then they left in opposite directions.  Heart wrenching sadness filled each of them to the core as each started counting down the days till they would be together again.


Aww . . . I love Ennis and his finicky friend Jack, too - and this drabble.



Friend:  Noun.  A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.  A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.  A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.  One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.

“Aw Ennis…where are ya now Ennis?”  He let his body slump into the chair, and sat, staring and blinking. 

282 words

Another bulls-eye straight through my heart, Scott.



"He was my friend. He was the best friend any man could ever have."

And then he told her. He couldn't tell her about his love for Jack, couldn't tell her the whole truth. But at least he could tell her what a fine man Jack was, tell her about elk and sheep, about fourteen hour long drives and how Jack always made him laugh. He owed it to Jack to tell her at least this.

In the end, he didn't tell her how the shirts had found their way into his closet, didn't tell her that the blood on them was his, but she didn't ask again. She understood.

250 words

Loved how you brought the shirts into this drabble and loved Ennis's words.


sigh, i can just imagine Ennis's face as he sits there alone having his leftovers for dinner, trying to push thoughts about Mexico out of his mind :(

Yeah, it's such a heartbreaking image isn't it, Fabienne?  Beautifully done, Leslie.


September 1967: Ennis couldn't take his eyes of the card. Friend, Be coming thru on the 24th..... His head flooded with thoughts of that summer on Brokeback with Jack, now no long held back. He was really going to see him again, Jack was gonna be here not some  distant memory taken from the back of his mind on rare occasion.

Friend. Ennis remembered the first time Jack called him that: That's more words that you said in the last two weeks... And the said look on his face when he answered. Now he couldn't take his hand of the 5 cent postcard. Friend

Really powerful.  "Friend" will be resonating in my mind all day.

Thanks, all

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline opinionista

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #149 on: February 08, 2007, 03:36:54 pm »
The phone rang twice before Alma picked it up

-Hello?- said Alma
-Uh… Mrs. Del Mar?- said a nervous voice on the other end of the receiver. -This is uh... Jack. How you do Mam?
-Who?- Alma replied
-Jack Twist. Ennis’s friend. We met a few months ago.
-Oh! Sure, I remember you. How you do?
-I’m fine Mam, thank you. Um. Is Ennis home?
-Uh no. He just went out to get some smokes.
-Okay. Would you please tell him to call me back? Collect.
-There’s no need for that. But sure, I’ll tell him.
-Okay. Thank you Mam.
-You’re welcome. Have a nice evening, now.

As Alma hung up, Ennis came out of the shower drying his hair with a towel.

-I think I heard the phone ring, Alma- said Ennis.
-Uh, yeah.. It was nobody. Wrong number- lied Alma.
-Dammit- murmured Ennis, as Alma went into the kitchen to finish dinner.

155 words.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2007, 03:44:37 pm by opinionista »
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