Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 1183956 times)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1490 on: June 17, 2007, 08:19:15 pm »
Thanks, friends, for the kind words about my drabble (sorry it was so sad). 


. . . .
“Junior….this….this is…..”. 

Ennis’s eyes darted back and forth, from Junior to Tom and back to Junior again.  Tom had a sly smile on his face, Junior looked confused.

“Junior, this is… this is… Tom…..” 

Oh, my .... this could be a pivotal moment.  Looking forward to more, Marl!

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1491 on: June 18, 2007, 02:11:12 pm »
Hi there! Anyone want to take these for a spin?

  • good
  • better
  • best

Marie


The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline cwby30

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1492 on: June 18, 2007, 03:01:10 pm »
Mornin', Cameron

Well, the time has come for Ennis.  The last time he introduced Junior to his friend, it was Jack, and he sent Jack away.  Now, he's introducing her to Tom. What will he do and say, and admit? 

From your other Drabble line, about the Artist [more coming, I hope?!] set in 2003, I recall a line where Ennis thought about "all his years with Tom".  Not sure if it meant those years were over, or still ongoing. I hope this is his turning point, and the start of a relationship with Tom.  Even so, I know Tom will never replace Jack in Ennis' heart, and their relationship would not be complete for either of them.  Still, best for Ennis to be with Tom right now.

And, who was the person who saw them outside the trailer a while ago, and left without making himself known, and went back far away where he came from? Jack? Think so.  Sad, for both of them, if it was. 

Really a great story. Glad you've kept it up, and looking forward to more. 

Thanks again. 

Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1493 on: June 18, 2007, 05:38:55 pm »
Greetings!
I come bearing a drabble... :)


All good by tomorrow...

There you go again,
Over-thinking everything.
It was a simple touch
The barest brush of his fingers.
You were bleeding, remember?
You were hurting,
He reached out to help,
You should be glad he did.
Instead here you go,
Overreacting, as usual.

But…that look in his eyes
When he saw the wound;
I saw something there,
Anger, or could it be worry?
You are a fool, face it boy;
It’s all in your head.
You’re the strange one here,
You’re the damaged one here.
You’re the one with the problem.
Problems.  Not him.


I find myself watching him -
The way he gets caught up
In the silly tales he tells.
The way he looks straight at me,
Deep into my eyes
Like he is searching for answers.
Other times, I chance a glance at him
And I find his eyes on me,
Like he’s been watching, staring..
What the fuck is that about?
This is messed up,
Me thinking all these things
Don’t think I don’t know it. I do.
There you go again,
Reading it all wrong,
Wanting it to mean more than it does,
More than he intends.
Get a grip, boy!

For a moment, he looked so hurt
When I brushed his hand away.
Why should he care anyway?



“Yer head feeling any better?” Jack asked idly, breaking the silence; his eyes fixed on the campfire.

“It’ll be all good by tomorrow..” Ennis dabbed at the open wound with a cloth, “Shit..” he mumbled under his breath.

Jack looked at him quietly for a moment, “Good, ‘cause tomorrow we’re goin’ hunting!  I’ve had enough beans to last a year.”  He picked up the whiskey bottle leaning on the log he was sitting on and headed for the tent.

‘It’ll be all good by tomorrow,” Ennis thought to himself distractedly as he watched Jack enter the tent.


(310 words)




« Last Edit: June 18, 2007, 08:09:05 pm by Lucise »


Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1494 on: June 18, 2007, 10:26:12 pm »

All good by tomorrow...   

This is a great example of why I love this thread so much - you were able to take ordinary, general words and give us such touching and honest insights (and a gorgeous picture, as well).

Thanks, M~
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1495 on: June 18, 2007, 10:42:07 pm »
Mornin', Cameron

Well, the time has come for Ennis.  The last time he introduced Junior to his friend, it was Jack, and he sent Jack away.  Now, he's introducing her to Tom. What will he do and say, and admit? 

From your other Drabble line, about the Artist [more coming, I hope?!] set in 2003, I recall a line where Ennis thought about "all his years with Tom".  Not sure if it meant those years were over, or still ongoing. I hope this is his turning point, and the start of a relationship with Tom.  Even so, I know Tom will never replace Jack in Ennis' heart, and their relationship would not be complete for either of them.  Still, best for Ennis to be with Tom right now.

And, who was the person who saw them outside the trailer a while ago, and left without making himself known, and went back far away where he came from? Jack? Think so.  Sad, for both of them, if it was. 

Really a great story. Glad you've kept it up, and looking forward to more. 

Thanks again. 

Thank you so much, Cowboy, for taking the time to write this.  I am so glad that you are enjoying my stories and I really appreciate you writing this. 

I agree that no one could ever replace Jack, but still....we'll see.

Thanks so much again. :)

Thanks as always, Marie, :)

Marl



Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1496 on: June 18, 2007, 11:34:02 pm »

Thanks for the comments Susie and Marie! 
Much appreciated as always! :-*


~M


Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1497 on: June 19, 2007, 11:06:01 am »
Hi everyone,

Try these today:

  • picture postcard perfect
  • onward and upward
  • bragging rights

L
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Dagi

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1498 on: June 19, 2007, 02:31:36 pm »
Greetings!
I come bearing a drabble... :)


All good by tomorrow...

There you go again,
Over-thinking everything.
It was a simple touch
The barest brush of his fingers.
You were bleeding, remember?
You were hurting,
He reached out to help,
You should be glad he did.
Instead here you go,
Overreacting, as usual.

But…that look in his eyes
When he saw the wound;
I saw something there,
Anger, or could it be worry?
You are a fool, face it boy;
It’s all in your head.
You’re the strange one here,
You’re the damaged one here.
You’re the one with the problem.
Problems.  Not him.


I find myself watching him -
The way he gets caught up
In the silly tales he tells.
The way he looks straight at me,
Deep into my eyes
Like he is searching for answers.
Other times, I chance a glance at him
And I find his eyes on me,
Like he’s been watching, staring..
What the fuck is that about?
This is messed up,
Me thinking all these things
Don’t think I don’t know it. I do.
There you go again,
Reading it all wrong,
Wanting it to mean more than it does,
More than he intends.
Get a grip, boy!

For a moment, he looked so hurt
When I brushed his hand away.
Why should he care anyway?





Lucise, you write so beautifully. I just came here and your post was the first thing I read and now I know I will go on !

Dagi

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1499 on: June 19, 2007, 02:42:23 pm »
Perfect

"Oh, Lureen, honey, you must make me a copy of this one," Fayette gushed. "Have you ever seen such a beautiful family! – why it's perfect, that's what it is – picture postcard perfect!!" 

Jack's face broke into a wide grin as he spotted the postcard in the mail, his thumb caressing the words.  He was oblivious to the conversation taking place between Lureen and her mother in the living room, yet the words "postcard" and "perfect" still resonated in his mind. 

~~~~~~~~~~
81 words
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain