Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 325551 times)

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #270 on: February 18, 2007, 12:37:16 pm »
Dear God, please let it not be true. Let it be a mistake. Please, let it not be true, let it not be true, let it not be true....

The phone was picked up.

"Hello?"

Jack's voice.

Thank you.

***************************************************************

The phone rang. He went for it, picked it up and said his usual "Hello?"

For a moment, there was only silence. Then someone sobbed at the other end of the line.

"Hello? Who is this?"

More sobs. And something like thank you.

He wasn't sure about the words, but he knew the voice.

"Ennis? What happened? Ennis! Talk to me."

A click and the line went dead.

Dear God. Please let this sonofabitch be alright.

With this thought, he went for his duffle bag.


124 words

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #271 on: February 18, 2007, 01:11:24 pm »

     Ennis saw the blue of the sky, and the fluffy clouds on this cold, fall
day..It reminded him yet again, of the fluff of the lamb, and the blue
that could never, be matched in his heart."  Fly Jack, up with
the high winds, and the beautiful blue. " I know yer here bud, just wait a while, i'm coming back too.. "            
 

Janice, that was so very, very touching.



Surgery         (301 Words)


Aww, C*, what great use of the prompts - and you're writing is gorgeous, as usual!



.  .    .
“Ev’ry day. Ev’ry day I send up a prayer of thanks for havin’ you in my life. And I send up another one askin’ Him ta keep you safe.”

“It’s you and God keepin' me safe?” said Jack, with a grin. “I ain’t got nothin’ ta do with it?”

.  .   .

Oh, Leslie!  Ennis and God keeping Jack safe - as it should be! 


Dear God, please let it not be true. Let it be a mistake. Please, let it not be true, let it not be true, let it not be true....

The phone was picked up.

"Hello?"

Jack's voice.

Thank you.

***************************************************************

The phone rang. He went for it, picked it up and said his usual "Hello?"

For a moment, there was only silence. Then someone sobbed at the other end of the line.

"Hello? Who is this?"

More sobs. And something like thank you.

He wasn't sure about the words, but he knew the voice.

"Ennis? What happened? Ennis! Talk to me."

A click and the line went dead.

Dear God. Please let this sonofabitch be alright.

With this thought, he went for his duffle bag.


124 words

Wow - that was brilliant!


You guys never cease to amaze me!  I'm sending up my own prayer of thanks for all of you!

Marie

The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #272 on: February 18, 2007, 05:37:01 pm »
                                 Butterflies and Wheat

    It was a day in the fields of golden wheat...the afternoon sun was turning it to oceans of billowing hue..
 
    Ennis Del Mar was waiting for the quitting hour.. He always left at
6:00 pm sharp.. It was a clock you could set your timepiece by.  He
wore no watch, but he could tell you nearly to the minute, by his
look at the sun in the blue overhead.

     He sits on the big wooden crate near the barn door..He just washed
his hands, from the days labor... The horse trough, out back . Has all the fixins.  They have a nondescript sliver of some cheap brand of soap in an old sardine can...The spigot is available for all hands use..
 
     He is in a tranquil mood for a change..His usual morose, and solitary
way, being shoved aside for now.  He is heading out as soon as he gets
home... They will have days of unrestrained freedom.  They will have time
alone and free.  Jack, i pray you make it here safely bud, driving those lonely roads, at night..I always worry.  On those long drives, specially, when you don't sleep.

     A flitter of color, darts and dashes in the afternoon air, he smiles as
he watches the tiny creature.. He feels a warmth in his heart..It takes
him back to Jack..Seems so much, makes him think on Jack..".I don't
know if it's things remind me of you Jack," he wonders? " Or is it you, makes me think on things i would never have before."

      He glances again at the afternoon sky..Well six o clock boys,,i'm
headin on out..see ya in a week..
    
246 words
« Last Edit: February 18, 2007, 09:13:40 pm by ifyoucantfixit »



     Beautiful mind

Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #273 on: February 18, 2007, 08:16:03 pm »
Jack taking his last breaths:

Lord take care of Ennis, tell how much I loved him, keep him safe, keep him from being afraid, help him forgive me, wrap your arms around him for me. Lord thankyou for giving Ennis to me , I'm sorry if I didn't always treat him they way you would have me too, cause'n  him pain, thankyou for all them days you gave us together, every one of them....Help him not be sad, missin me, bring him joy remembering the times you gave us together....


Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #274 on: February 18, 2007, 08:44:55 pm »



            Wow;  powerful, an disturbing. and sad.....great job Mark
g
                                          janice



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Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #275 on: February 18, 2007, 09:24:32 pm »
These prompts have given us some of the best drabbles.

Tranquility

.  .   .
.  . It was finally the middle of August. .

.  . It was only the middle of August.

Wow - very nicely done!

                                 Butterflies and Wheat


That was so profound, Janice.  I especially liked these lines:  ..".I don't
know if it's things remind me of you Jack," he wonders? " Or is it you, makes me think on things i would never have before."


Jack taking his last breaths:

Lord take care of Ennis, tell how much I loved him, keep him safe, keep him from being afraid, help him forgive me, wrap your arms around him for me. Lord thankyou for giving Ennis to me , I'm sorry if I didn't always treat him they way you would have me too, cause'n  him pain, thankyou for all them days you gave us together, every one of them....Help him not be sad, missin me, bring him joy remembering the times you gave us together....




Oh, my. . . :'( :'( 


Thanks - Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #276 on: February 19, 2007, 08:36:44 am »
Good morning all,

Today's prompts come from Chrissi (Penthesilea)

  • busy
  • frivolous
  • Hungary

She wrote to me: It's not a typo. I really mean the country in eastern Europe   ;)  I'm curious if anyone will take it and what they'll do with it.

Have fun, everybody!


L
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #277 on: February 19, 2007, 09:47:32 am »
"What in hell is *this*?"

"That's goulash."

"Jack, I've eaten goulash before. And *this* sure doesn't look the slightest bit like goulash."

"It's original Hungarian goulash. I read about it in a magazine and thought I'd try it. Bobby's new girlfriend is from Hungary. They'll come over tonight."

"Uh-uh."

************************************

"Hi dad. Hi Ennis. This is Francesca."

"Francesca?"

"Welcome Francesca. Nice to meet you. Bobby told us you're from Hungary."

"Hello Mr. Twist, Mr. Del Mar. I'm from Italy, actually."

"Oh! Spaghetti would have been eaiser."

"Dad?"

"Never mind. Come on, have a seat. Food will be ready any minute. We'll be right back."

****************************************

"Don't you dare to laugh."

"Nope. I won't."

A giggle.

"Ennis!"

More giggles, barely restrained now.

"Spaghetti would have been easier! Have you seen the poor girl's face? She must think you're totally nuts. And you know what? She got that right."

Ennis was laughing hard now, wiping tears from his face.

"Asshole. We'll just eat the goulash alone. You can see what you'll eat."

"C'mon here." Ennis grabbed Jack by the waist and pulled him close, still smiling broadly. "Tell you what. This Hungarian goulash is better than any spaghetti sauce you ever made."


199 words
« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 09:55:36 am by Penthesilea »

Offline opinionista

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #278 on: February 19, 2007, 10:15:07 am »
Jack was very late this time. They agreed to meet at 9 am on Thursday on the parking lot closer to the campsite, and by 5 pm, he still hadn’t arrived. Ennis had busied himself all day long preparing the camp, making sure they had enough wood to keep the fire going. He even picked some wild flowers to put it inside the tent, something he had never done before. After he was done, he went out on a ride on his mare, first riding fast, then slow to enjoy the views, looking for elks to hunt since the last time they couldn’t due to the rain.

When the clock hit 5 pm, Jack was still nowhere in sight. Ennis, already cranky and horny, began to feel alarmed. At first he thought he had gotten held up in some sort of traffic jam or maybe Lureen had him work more hours than usual. At least those were the reasons why he was late other times. But the truth was he has never been so late before. “Shit Jack, where the fuck are ya?”

Faced with nothing else to do, Ennis started dinner, partly to ease the tension of the waiting. He took out the steaks from the cooler and put them on a plate, telling himself over and over “He’s fine, he’s fine.” And as he grabbed a knife to peel the spuds, he heard the sound of Jack’s truck approaching. Feeling a great sense of relief all over his body, Ennis ran towards the parking lot dropping everything he had in hand.

“Where in the hell you was!?”, said Ennis angrily, as he saw Jack pulling over and getting off the truck. “I thought something happened to ya?.
“I’m sorry, Ennis. I’m very sorry. I got held up helping Bobby with some homework.”
“Homework?”
“Yeah he needed to do some shit for his geography class and had to spent half the afternoon helping him write a composition about Hungary. Lureen had some fucking meeting with some a client so I had to do it. I just left home too late. Sorry cowboy.”
“Hungary, huh”, Ennis replied softly.
“Yeah, sorry boy.”
They hugged each other mightily, Ennis taking deep breaths, as Jack searched for a kiss which Ennis didn’t deny.
“Come on cowboy”, said Ennis. “Dinner is almost done.”
“Great. I’m starving” said Jack, with a big grin on his face.

397 words
« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 03:27:41 pm by opinionista »
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -Mark Twain.

Scott6373

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #279 on: February 19, 2007, 10:39:13 am »
They sat at the service station for a long while.  In all the time they had been traveling to the mountains, never once had Ennis’ truck broken down, and it couldn’t have chosen a worse time.  They had not taken one of their trips in almost six months.  The electric charge between and around them was almost visible, or at least so they thought in their limited understanding of perception.

Two men sitting at a picnic table at a auto service station was most certainly not an odd sight, but both men felt a level of discomfort, stemming from their individual need to be naked, and sweating on and with each other, and their misguided notion that the little family that was eating a box lunch at the picnic table near them could also sense this sexual deviance from them.  Each one kept their thoughts silent: Jack his head in his hands, and Ennis watching, as Ennis always did.

Jack felt the slight push against his elbow as it rested on the wooden table.  Head still in hands, he opened his eyes and peered through his finger to see a small napkin with a scribble on it that he recognized immediately.

“I know ya wanna get going to camp but can we stop somewhere I’m hungary”   Jack looked up into the face of the man-boy that he loved, the now rheumy eyes deep enough to get lost in.  “Sure…sure we can,” he said, and smiled.


245 words