Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 532250 times)

Scott6373

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #690 on: March 12, 2007, 01:35:13 pm »
Razor 3/12/07  (Warning:  The disturbing images may not be suitable for all)



The steam from the hot bath water rose around her as she lowered her weary body into the scalding tub of dreams.  The cooing of her only child in the other room lulled her as her skin shrieked silently against hot water.  Soon, her body acclimatized, and the once painful emersion was now a soothing womb for her soul.  She slid down the slick enamel finish of the claw-foot tub, until all but her head, hair neatly drawn up in a bun, was submerged.  With the inevitability that she craved, her world faded away and was replaced by the peace that was her particular medicine.

“You gonna sit in that fucking tub all day?  Where’s my lunch?”

“I may just sit here all day.  Nothing better for me ta look forward to.”

“Get yer ass outta there.  That shitty kid a yours is bawlin, and I ain’t got no time for your backtalk.”

“Of mine?  So he ain’t yours no more huh?”

“Not sure he ever was.” 

There were certain cuts to her soul that she could no longer abide.  She rose, dripping from the now cool water.  “Oh he’s yours right enough.  I just thank God, I can’t have any more.  You can’t support the one we got.”  The color in his face drained, and cold fury built behind his soulless eyes.  “Don’t ya even think about,” she said as she stepped carefully out of the tub, not bothering to cover her nakedness.  She took two steps forward, and was in front of the reason for her pain.  She glanced down at the basin, his straight edge razor sitting there.  “Yea tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” she chanted in a fully removed voice.

She picked up the razor.  “I will fear no evil…”  She drew the razor across her arm, a thin line of blood appearing.

“Thy rod and thy staff are my comfort…”  She placed the sharp blade on her breast.

“You leadest me…”  With slow and defiant intention, the razor cut across her swollen breasts.  “Beside the still water…”

Her arm dropped to her side.  The tiny rivulets of blood streaked her belly.  “You annointest me…”  Her hand moved between her legs, the muscles in her arms tightened in preparation.  “My cup runneth over…”


It was the sound of the crying baby that roused her.  The hot water of her sanctuary had cooled to an uncomfortable temperature.  After a momentary recollection of her mind, she quickly got out of the tub and wrapped the worn terrycloth robe around her wet skin.  She found her crying son, in his room, bent down and picked him up to soothe his pain, whatever it may have been.  “Hush now Jackie…hush…”  Then she heard the screen door slam in the kitchen, and  once again felt warm liquid, but now it was her own.  Her soul cried out in trapped agony.

(481 words)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #691 on: March 12, 2007, 01:49:37 pm »
.  .  .
     Ennis Del Mar, is on the other side of town, he is looking in the mirror, scrapes his hand across his morning stubble.  He wonders, acceptingly how many more shaves he can get
out of this razor before, he has to use a new one.

Janice, you just keep getting better and better. 


.  .  .

It was the sound of the crying baby that roused her.  The hot water of her sanctuary had cooled to an uncomfortable temperature.  After a momentary recollection of her mind, she quickly got out of the tub and wrapped the worn terrycloth robe around her wet skin.  She found her crying son, in his room, bent down and picked him up to soothe his pain, whatever it may have been.  “Hush now Jackie…hush…”  Then she heard the screen door slam in the kitchen, and  once again felt warm liquid, but now it was her own.  Her soul cried out in trapped agony.

Oh my God, Scott.  I'm . . . speechless. 

Thank you, both
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #692 on: March 12, 2007, 02:35:25 pm »


     Well once again, i find myself saying poor Jack.  Very sad, for Jack and his mom.
                                                                   great job as usual Scott.
                                                                                     janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #693 on: March 12, 2007, 04:23:47 pm »
(Just got home, here's my drabble...)

Getting Ready

February 1978

Ennis passed by a woman pushing a baby carriage.  He could feel her eyes upon him.  They were burning into him.  He glanced at her, then looked down.  Whenever he went out lately he had that feeling, that people were staring at him, that they knew.   Ever since Thanksgiving, with Alma, he just knew that everyone knew.  He tried to talk about it with Jack, but Jack didn’t get it at all.

Ennis hurried to his truck and drove quickly home.  He was going out later, but now he had a little time. He turned on the tv and flipped through the channels.  There was Genie and the astronaut.  He used to watch it with the girls.  They loved the show, they pretended to be Genie.  One day when they were watching together Junior suddenly burst into tears and cried “I wish Genie was here, and she could make it so nobody died.”  Ennis remembered not knowing what to say to her, he had no idea where that came from, Junior didn’t know anyone who died.

Ennis watched for a little while longer, then took a shower and shaved carefully with a brand new razor.  He wanted to look his best.  He was going out tonight, with that girl, the one who came up to him last week.

He put on a clean new shirt.  The girl was pretty, and really lively too.  She even made him dance.  She did seem to like him, he smiled to himself thinking about how she just came up to him at the bar last week.

Maybe it wasn't really true.  Maybe what Alma said and thought just wasn’t so.  But Ennis now felt that pain in his gut.  Maybe it all wasn’t really true, he wasn’t like that, it was just with Jack.

Maybe he just needed to meet the right girl, like this girl.  She was pretty and seemed to be one of those happy types, not all sad and mopey like Alma.

But Ennis glanced over at the bag, still with things in it from the last trip.  Something didn’t feel right during that trip with Jack.  They argued about things that Ennis couldn’t change.  Jack still had this idea, but Ennis knew it couldn’t be and now he felt the knot in his gut grow tighter.

Ennis checked the mirror once again, and put on his coat and hat.  Maybe he did just need to meet the right girl, maybe this Cassie, maybe she’s the one.  The knot grew even tighter, but Ennis went out to the truck.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2007, 05:50:43 pm by marlb42 »



Offline Lumičre

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #694 on: March 12, 2007, 04:34:12 pm »
Here's mine too ..  :)


I Dream of Ennis ..

Saturday, November 8th 1975.


The feeling of the cold water running down his back temporarily soothed his troubled mind.  There was something about the simple physical act of cleansing and the sound of running water that enabled him to relinquish his anxieties, albeit momentarily.  He closed his eyes as the water rained upon his face ..

Manuel, as he’d called himself, had taken him to a dingy little room in a beat-down apartment building half a block from the market square where he’d picked him up.  The curtains were drawn and the room was dimly-lit by way of the street lamp across the road.  He was still standing beside the closed door, taking in the surroundings when the young man kneeling before him unzipped his pants and took him in one gulp.  Jack gasped and leaned heavily against the door, his fingers running through Manuel’s long dark hair as his head bobbed underneath his hand. 

“You like it, don’t ya Jack?” Ennis looked up at him and smiled, his lips wet.  “Like it when I do this to ya?”  Jack sighed heavily at the feel of Ennis’ tongue licking him from the base all the way to the tip.  “Oh Ennis ..” Jack breathed, gripping the door handle for support, “I am so close ..god, Ennis ..”.

His pants were around his knees when he finally opened his eyes.  The reality of the situation cut through him like a thousand razors.  The young man was now half-naked and on his knees on the rumpled unmade bed, smiling at him eagerly.  He pulled up his jeans, fastened his belt and reached for his wallet in his back pocket.  He walked over to the bed and placed two wrinkled bills in the young man’s hand, he left wordlessly.

He sat alone in his truck for a time, his head in his hands.  He thought he’d shed all the tears he could on the long drive from Riverton; apparently not.  There seemed to be no end to the heartache; there were no answers in the dark corners where he searched.  There was no magic lamp to rub, no obedient genie to do his bidding when he so desperately needed it.  He didn’t even care for three wishes, only one would suffice. 




                                                 
« Last Edit: March 13, 2007, 01:43:06 am by Lucise »


Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #695 on: March 12, 2007, 08:45:14 pm »
.  .  .
Ennis checked the mirror once again, and put on his coat and hat.  Maybe he did just need to meet the right girl, maybe this Cassie, maybe she’s the one.  The knot grew even tighter, but Ennis went out to the truck.

Excellent, Marl!  Ennis tries so hard to ignore that knot, doesn't he? :(


Here's mine too ..  :)


I Dream of Ennis ..

Saturday, November 8th 1975.


The feeling of the cold water running down his back temporarily soothed his troubled mind.  There was something about the simple physical act of cleansing and the sound of running water that enabled him to relinquish his anxieties, albeit momentarily.  He closed his eyes as the water rained upon his face ..

Manuel, as he’d called himself, had taken him to a dingy little room in a beat-down apartment building half a block from the market square where he’d picked him up.  The curtains were drawn and the room was dimly-lit by way of the street lamp across the road.  He was still standing beside the closed door, taking in the surroundings when the young man kneeling before him unzipped his pants and took him in one gulp.  Jack gasped and leaned heavily against the door, his fingers running through Manuel’s long dark hair as his head bobbed underneath his hand. 

“You like it, don’t ya Jack?” Ennis looked up at him and smiled, his lips wet.  “Like it when I do this to ya?”  Jack sighed heavily at the feel of Ennis’ tongue licking him from the base all the way to the tip.  “Oh Ennis ..” Jack breathed, gripping the door handle for support, “I am so close ..god, Ennis ..”.

His pants were resting on his knees when he finally opened his eyes.  The reality of the situation cut through him like a thousand razors.  The young man was now half-naked and on his knees on the rumpled unmade bed, smiling at him eagerly.  He pulled up his jeans, fastened his belt and reached for his wallet in his back pocket.  He walked over to the bed and placed two wrinkled bills in the young man’s hand, he left wordlessly.

He sat alone in his truck for a time, his head in his hands.  He thought he’d shed all the tears he could on the long drive from Riverton; apparently not.  There seemed to be no end to the heartache; there were no answers in the dark corners where he searched.  There was no magic lamp to rub, no obedient genie to do his bidding when he so desperately needed it.  He didn’t even care for three wishes, only one would suffice. 

Wow, Milli - that's my favorite of all your drabbles so far - and that's saying something.  "The reality of the situation cut through him like a thousand razors."    Damn fine writing, that.

Thanks,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #696 on: March 12, 2007, 09:05:20 pm »
I do agree with Marie, Milli, your drabbles are absolutely amazing, I really loved this one too.

Leslie, Janice and Scott, wonderful drabbles today, of course as usual. A rather sad day, wasn't it?

Thank you, Marie, but gosh, well I don't know, just don't about mine.

You are all such great writers. :D



Offline Lumičre

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #697 on: March 12, 2007, 10:07:56 pm »
Cheers Marl and Marie...
Muah.

~M


Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #698 on: March 12, 2007, 11:38:09 pm »
May 9th, 1988

Ennis and Jack are celebrating 25 years since they met. It is early afternoon and they are getting hair cuts for their big night.

Once outside the sidewalk was crowded with mostly businessmen rushing to their next appointment, a few tourists, and students roaming the city. “Just a block and a half from the hotel…that what the clerk said.”

“Jack…I don’t know if I feel so good ‘bout getting’ my hair cut….don’t know if I want…some…you know ….q…stranger sticking their fingers on my head…”

“Ya been letting’ me cut yer hair….ever since them days at Brokeback….and I’m….”

“But yer not….like…”

Jack puts his hand on Ennis’s nearest shoulder, squeezes reassuringly. “Be okay there Ennis….Promise you won’t  hurt ah bit…..Just relax….If ya want I‘ll go first” Ennis settles back in step with Jack. “Look’s like were  here Ennis.” Jack opens the door , guides Ennis gently inside. Jack leads to the reception desk. “Ma’am m friend and I have an appointment fer 1:30, names Twist.”

“Yes sir…that would be with Scott. Have a seat  and I will get him for you.” Ennis sits down, hands folded in his lap looks nervously around at the prints of abstract char actors on the walls near the ceiling, large leafy plant throughout the interior, sinks, credenza, display of multi types of products. Jack, relaxed taps Ennis in the leg with his knee, gives him a wink.

“Gentlemen!…One of you must be Mr. Twist.” They  are greeted by a mid 30’s handsome darker blond man with a slender athletic build, big wide smile, slightly shorter than Ennis and Jack, dressed in Levis, untucked creamy yellow polo shirt and K-Swiss sneakers.

“Please call me Jack… and this here is my good friend Ennis.” the exchange  hand shakes.

“Ennis….very  nice name….fits you very well.” Scott gave a warm smile. Ennis grinned.

Knowing the answer Scott asked. “So Jack, who has been cutting your hair?”

“That would be Ennis here.” Turning to Ennis.

“You been to a barber college Ennis?….looks pretty professional….just grown out.”

Ennis a little embarrassed. “No…no I haven’t…..Kinda thought it was lucky that mug a’ his isn’t so hard on the eyes….don’t  matter so much ’bout the hair.” They all laugh.

“Well why do we get started, see if we can give you some cuts worthy of  those movie star faces you two have.” Ennis looks down and smiles. “Now who wants to go first?.”

Jack and Ennis look at each other. “I’ll go first.”

Scott leads Jack to the sink, places a smock around his neck and has him lean back to the sink. He then places a hot moist towel over most of his face,

“What are ya gonns do ta  him?”

“He just gonna wash my hair Ennis….an’ give me  a shave…all part of the service….it’s okay Ennis.”

“Yer getting’ shaved too!

“We’re getting’ shaved”

“What!….Jaaackkk.”

“Ennis, I promise you I wont hurt him a bit…I’ve been shaving faces almost twenty years…wouldn’t be having this shop if I ever cut anyone. If you want you can stand right here.” Ennis moves by the sink, placing his fingers protectively on Jacks shoulder, standing quietly, not sure if he wants this done to him.   

“Hey Ennis…did you ever shave Jack here?” Scott said trying to engage Ennis.

“Once….He wuz sick with the  flu er something ….Thought mebe he’d feel  better iffin his face didn’t feel like sandpaper…kept coughin’ in my face….but got ‘m shaved.”

Jack nodded.

Ennis brightened up, warming to Scott .”Say Scott….” Ennis then placing his hand on Jack’s chest . “Think mebe you can shave off that moustache of his?” Now pushing down on Jack.

Immediately, face still covered , Jack eyebrows rise up toward Ennis, eyes pleading.

"Haven’t seen that upper lip in prob’ly ten years."

Scott  smiling witnessing the test of wills. “You want me to shave it off Ennis?”
Jacks eyes dart back and forth between Ennis and Scott, Ennis holding firm then slowly releasing pressure.

"Well I reckon…..but…..but only if he wants to.”

Excerpt from as yet unreleased 3rd chapter of "SHIRTS, SUITS....."
« Last Edit: March 13, 2007, 01:24:03 am by jpwagoneer1964 »
Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #699 on: March 13, 2007, 03:59:43 am »
Oh Mark, so sweet, it follows on mine!

Thanks...

So for today, I am up very early with a little of the pre-trip jitters. I actually think I am going to try to go back to bed but in the meantime, the very early risers can give these a whirl...

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  • "for pete's sake

Leslie
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