Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 391935 times)

Offline MaineWriter

  • Bettermost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,042
  • Stay the course...
    • Bristlecone Pine Press
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #370 on: February 25, 2007, 01:06:49 pm »
Okay, so I am cheating a little bit with a previously written piece, but with the prompt "hands" I couldn't get this out of my mind. This is from Makin' It Legal which I actually wrote in the Human Interest (MadLori) universe. Jack and Ennis are living in Vermont and decide to get legally married in Massachusetts. If you want to read the whole story, you can find it here:

http://lazylfarm.livejournal.com/25616.html



Judge Miller smiled at both of them. “Many choose, as you have done, to use rings to symbolize their commitment to each other.” Alma stepped forward and handed her father Jack’s ring.

Ennis took the ring and slipped it on Jack’s finger, and as he did so, he said, “Jack, I put this ring on your finger in 1977, and I put it on in 1983, and I’m puttin’ it on again today. And every time I have put this ring on your finger, I have loved you more than I did the time before.”

Alma then handed Jack—her other father—Ennis’s ring. As Jack started to slip it on Ennis’s finger, he began to rub the dented area, where the ring had sat just a few minutes before. “Ennis, I think back to the summer of 1963, and I see your eyes, and I see your heart, and I see your soul. And I see your hands, your big, hard working hands. And Ennis, if I had a ring that summer up on Brokeback, I would have put it on your finger and married you then, because I have always loved you, and I have only loved you. Today, with this ring, I pledge our lifetime of love, from the past, and now, into the future.”

Ennis felt his eyes brimming with tears. Goddamn, he thought. If I’d a knowed this whole marriage thing was goin’ t’be this emotional, I ain’t sure I’d of ever brought it up.

Judge Miller looked at both men, and waited a minute for them to regain their composure. Then she said, “I, Kathryn Miller, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, do now declare you legally married, as husband and husband. You may celebrate your marriage with a kiss.”

Ennis took Jack’s face in his hands and pulled him towards him, while Jack tucked his fingers in Ennis’s belt loops and pulled him even closer. “Jack fuckin’ Twist,” whispered Ennis, as he leaned in close.

“Sonofabitch,” said Jack. And then they kissed.

(346 words)
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #371 on: February 25, 2007, 01:21:25 pm »
wasn't meant to be a drabble, wrote this yesterday for part of chp. 7, clicked on this thread this morning to read the lastest fine drabbles, and there they were, 3 outa 3 prompts...

.   .   .   The sudden switch to the cold air of the house made Jack shiver. He’d been in a few stores before that had air-conditioning, but this was the first house he’d ever walked into that felt close on to a refrigerator.


Wow, that is something - and all three  prompts- certainly was meant to be!
This paragraph is so telling-L.D.'s house is as cold as his heart.  Really fine writing!


Here's two of the three...

Whisper

Humidity sat wet washcloth heavy, twirling up the tiny hairs on his neck. The late arriving twilight glazed the featureless land, a purple playground for bugs to buzz and bother about his face. Texas dirt under his boots, stubborn and strict, jarred his rodeo earnings with each step.

Knew he should go back inside, enjoy the comforts of his compromise.

Didn’t though. Just kept walking.

Even the emotionless call of “Dinner, Jack.” went by without a resigned response.

Something he was waiting for.

There it is.

A rare, sweet August breeze carried his whisper north.

“See you in November, Ennis.”


B, you are truly one of a kind - and with writing that is always this special, that is a very good thing.


Okay Marie, here it is...

The Beauty Parlor (Part 2)

.   .  .

’How is there another Ennis?’ she pondered to herself, not yet understanding what she should understand.


Thanks for satisfying my curiosity, Marleen!  :)  I loved this scenario - and this last line is perfect! 


Okay, so I am cheating a little bit with a previously written piece, but with the prompt "hands" I couldn't get this out of my mind. This is from Makin' It Legal which I actually wrote in the Human Interest (MadLori) universe. Jack and Ennis are living in Vermont and decide to get legally married in Massachusetts. If you want to read the whole story, you can find it here:

http://lazylfarm.livejournal.com/25616.html


.     .   .
Judge Miller smiled at both of them. “Many choose, as you have done, to use rings to symbolize their commitment to each other.” Alma stepped forward and handed her father Jack’s ring.
.   .   .

Oh, God, Leslie  - RINGS!  You know what you've turned me into - and a crying one at that!  LOL!  Beautiful, beautiful . . .

Thanks, all!
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline Penthesilea

  • Town Administration
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,478
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #372 on: February 25, 2007, 03:07:09 pm »
august 1963
end of summer
end of story
one-shot-thing
no other way

september1967
still summerly
skinny dipping
the sun shines
brighter than for years
together again

july 1978
ten long days
almost endless
almost

august 1983
damned baler
damned stoutamire
a summer missed
end of story

Offline MaineWriter

  • Bettermost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,042
  • Stay the course...
    • Bristlecone Pine Press
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #373 on: February 25, 2007, 03:15:05 pm »
Wonderful drabbles, as usual....Marleen, Chrissi, Beatrice, Fernly...thanks so much.

And Marie, our drabble cheerleader...what would we do without you?

L
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Offline Lumičre

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 9,283
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #374 on: February 25, 2007, 03:25:39 pm »
Room for one more?  ;)


May 1983

Some place exotic (Part 2)

Ennis brought his old pickup to a stop in the motel parking lot, his heart racing with excitement and anticipation at the sight of Jack’s truck parked a few metres away.  They’d planned to spend the night at the motel before heading out the next day for a week of camping.  Ennis grabbed his canvas bag from the passenger seat and carefully picked up the package lying beside it.

“I was afraid you were gonna stand me up!”  Jack beamed, once they were behind closed doors.  “It’s good to see ya, cowboy..” he said, moving in for a kiss.

“Ya know I wouldn’t stand ya up!  Wait, before we get carried away an’ all, I brought something for ya.  I thought you might like it ..” he said, handing Jack the package.  “Best open it now..”

Jack took it, a ghost of a smile on his face.  “For me?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.  Come on, open it..”

Jack carefully opened the box and peeled back a few layers of the soft wrapping paper.  His hands trembled a little as he pulled out the note attached to the neatly-tied bunch of flowers:

Jack,
Who knew we’d still be here..
20 years on.
You were and still are .. my little darlin.

Ennis 


Jack looked up at Ennis, eyes shining.

“I know we’ve talked about going away together, on a proper holiday.  But it hasn’t happened yet.  Some place exotic, remember?” Ennis added.

Jack nodded quietly.

“Well, I figured since we can’t go to Africa proper, you might like these.  Don’t ask me where I got African daisies in the middle a Wyoming, but I did..” Ennis said with a shy smile.

Jack brushed his fingers softly over the velvety smoothness of the purple petals, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love ‘em cowboy .. I really do.  C’mere..”



« Last Edit: February 25, 2007, 03:47:38 pm by Lucise »


Offline Cameron

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,747
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #375 on: February 25, 2007, 03:35:16 pm »
Milli,

You are so truly amazingly talented, I just loved this one. :)

They are all great today ;D

Marleen
« Last Edit: February 25, 2007, 03:40:54 pm by marlb42 »



Offline MaineWriter

  • Bettermost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,042
  • Stay the course...
    • Bristlecone Pine Press
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #376 on: February 25, 2007, 04:12:05 pm »
Oh Milli, that was beautiful...

I kept trying to think of purple flowers and all I could come up with were nasturtiums! LOL

L
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Offline haunted_by_bbm

  • Brokeback Mountain Resident
  • ****
  • Posts: 196
  • "didn't know we was gonna get into this again..."
    • Panels of the Dream: Brokeback Mountain Stories
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #377 on: February 25, 2007, 04:33:41 pm »


Purple Summer   



Saturday, August 16, 1969  2:47 p.m.


Ennis ran a large rough hand over the small purple bruises forming on Jack’s right hip, stream and sweat glistening on both their bodies, the warm summer sun beating down on their shuddering limbs.   

“Sorry, Bud…bruised ya again.”

“Aint complainin’, cowboy.” Jack sighed contentedly.  “You ever know me to complain?”  Jack smiled wide, eyes still closed, lying on his left side, reaching around to grab Ennis’ hand and pull him in closer.   

“Well…” Ennis began humorously, laughter at the ready.

“I meant about this,” Jack laughed, sensing what Ennis was going to say from his tone.  “Not talkin’ ‘bout all the complainin’ I did about Aguirre…or beans…or my daddy…not all that shit.”  And then added more quietly,  “…talkin’ ‘bout this…what we got here…” And Jack pulled Ennis’ arm all the way around himself, pulling the man’s hand first to his face, kissing it roughly, before holding it firmly to his chest. 

“Not once.”  Ennis sighed deeply, pressing fully into Jack’s back, before pulling on his right shoulder, gently, turning him over and around.

“C’mere, Bud,” Ennis sighed into Jack’s neck.  “Think ya need some matchin' purple on the other side.”

“Aint complainin.”    Jack grinned.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(202 Words)
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline haunted_by_bbm

  • Brokeback Mountain Resident
  • ****
  • Posts: 196
  • "didn't know we was gonna get into this again..."
    • Panels of the Dream: Brokeback Mountain Stories
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #378 on: February 25, 2007, 05:02:43 pm »
"May 1983

Some place exotic (Part 2)
"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucise,  I second the motion of everyone who already commented...this was beautiful.  Got me weepy and smiley all at the same time.   :)

C* 
« Last Edit: February 25, 2007, 05:05:59 pm by haunted_by_bbm »
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #379 on: February 25, 2007, 05:48:19 pm »
Something must be floating in the air - these drabbles are all awesome today!


.   .   .
july 1978
ten long days
almost endless
almost

.  .  .

Chrissi, I loved the way you framed this!  The progression, the beautiful symmetry, the few, but perfectly-chosen words - so very effective.  And this part - the "almost" - oh . . .


Room for one more?  ;)

May 1983

Some place exotic (Part 2)

Jack looked up at Ennis, eyes shining.

“I know we’ve talked about going away together, on a proper holiday.  But it hasn’t happened yet.  Some place exotic, remember?” Ennis added.

Jack nodded quietly.


You know you don't need to ask that!  :)  Oh, wow - continued 20 years later - and so beautifully, how much do I love that!  Our boys remember every precious moment together.  What a gorgeous pic!



Purple Summer  


Saturday, August 16, 1969  2:47 p.m.

Ennis ran a large rough hand over the small purple bruises forming on Jack’s right hip, stream and sweat glistening on both their bodies, the warm summer sun beating down on their shuddering limbs.  

.     .    . 

“C’mere, Bud,” Ennis sighed into Jack’s neck.  “Think ya need some matchin' purple on the other side.”

“Aint complainin.”    Jack grinned.  


Definitely my favorite use of "purple." LOL!!!  Ennis is branding his man.  And thanks for the exact date and time - I need to know these things. LOL!!

Thanks again,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain