Author Topic: Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?  (Read 2192 times)

Offline Kelda

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,703
  • Zorbing....
    • Keldas Facebook Page!
Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?
« on: April 19, 2006, 05:19:30 pm »
I saw this this morning while on my daily commute, and thought I'd post the story here.... there is also a comment section you may wish to read too...

Thoughts?

http://www.metro.co.uk/metrosexual/article.html?in_article_id=11884&in_page_id=8

Coming out with the truth
Tuesday, April 18, 2006 'What does it take to turn a straight boy gay?' asks a joke on a gay chat forum. 'About six beers and a tequila' was the reply.

Not the wittiest or most accurate gag but, according to a recent survey by The Observer, it could have a smidgeon of truth about it.

Apparently, 16 per cent of men have had some sexual contact with another man - a rise of five per cent from 2002.

While some people may find this statistic surprising, others won't bat an eyelid. Still, it does seem to suggest that the fine line between experimenting and having homosexual tendencies is being blurred. But when is it one or the other?

Going on a bender

Hugo, 25, is gay and was involved with a 'straight' man, Will, a trainee lawyer, for a year. 'I met Will through some friends. He had a loopy girlfriend whom he seemed almost obsessed with but we started hanging out and I even took him to a gay club which he seemed strangely up for. One night, we ended up hammered and sharing a bed. Before I knew it, we were kissing.'

They started seeing each other regularly but Will refused to give up his girlfriend. Hugo and Will's unions become more risqué with each meeting. On one occasion, they even kissed when Will's girlfriend left the room.

'Another time, we kissed at her house in a room full of people asleep. She even joked with me at a party saying that, if Will was gay, she thought we'd make a good couple! Whenever she was there, he'd pay her lots of attention but always keep one eye on me.'

Hugo your way…

During their year together, Will would often proclaim his feelings for Hugo. During his more confident spells, he told Hugo he wanted to give their relationship a serious go - and would then get cold feet.

'Normally, the day after one of these chats, he would ignore my texts. My patience ran out after a year of off and on encounters. The last I heard, they were getting married,' says Hugo.

Nurse, Kelly Graham, 31, lives with a gay man and says he has occasionally brought home men who have girlfriends.

'One of his one-night stands had a cup of tea with me the next morning and then cheerfully announced he was off to meet his girlfriend for lunch. She had absolutely no idea that he had been writhing around in another man's bed the night before. I was gobsmacked. My flatmate loved it, though. A straight boy is the ultimate catch.'

Psychiatrist Dr Lisa Matthewman says more men are willing to explore their sexuality today because of the higher level of sexual acceptance we have now.

'This is particularly true of Generation X and people in their twenties and thirties,' says Matthewman. 'But I'd say that regular, repeated experiences may mean bisexual or homosexual tendencies. If it is just a one-off experience, then it could be viewed as sexual exploration, such as playing out a fantasy.'

Still, Hugo disagrees, claiming to experiment is nothing but an excuse.

'I don't see how someone would end up in that situation by accident,' he says. 'I think they have to be looking for it. There would have to be some level of natural desire to go through with the sex, regardless of things like alcohol or drugs.'

And with today's preoccupation with who is homosexual and who is heterosexual, can men risk giving it a go?

'No, not really,' Hugo continues. 'There is still a stigma attached to being gay. Whether you are gay or bisexual, it comes down to the fact that you are either sexually attracted to men or not. They are the only two pigeonholes. There really is no in-between.'

http://www.idbrass.com

Please use the following links when shopping online -It will help us raise money without costing you a penny.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/idb

http://idb.easysearch.org.uk/

Offline Pipedream

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,118
Re: Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2006, 05:37:34 pm »
Good article, Kelda. Thanks for posting this! There's a lot of truth in it.

 :)

moremojo

  • Guest
Re: Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2006, 05:40:37 pm »
This story reminds me of things a friend of mine, Alejandro, would tell me of his home in Mexico. Alejandro, who was gay and was naturally effeminate (not in a campy way, but in a relaxed, matter-of-fact way), stated that his community back home was comprised of a lot of hard-drinking men who used alcohol to initiate and work through feelings that they wouldn't allow themselves to express while sober. Sometimes these feelings and behavior would extend to sexual relations with other males--in that culture, at least at that time, a man was not considered "gay" or "sissy" if he took the dominant sexual role with another man. It was the man who allowed himself to be penetrated who took on the social opprobrium of being "queer", and was treated with a strange mixture of grudging toleration and amused contempt.

At any rate, Alejandro felt great disdain for alcohol abuse, as he had witnessed what a regular handmaiden it was to men's hypocrisy. He could vouch that many men hide behind it as an excuse for their homosexual or bisexual explorations, and felt resentful that he, a conscious and aware gay man, was stigmatized for knowing who he was and admitting it.

Just a little aside to add here...

Scott
« Last Edit: February 15, 2008, 06:38:06 pm by moremojo »

Offline Jeff Wrangler

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 31,165
  • "He somebody you cowboy'd with?"
Re: Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2006, 06:09:56 pm »
Quote
In that culture, at least at that time, a man was not considered "gay" or "sissy" if he took the dominant sexual role with another man.

Scott,

That's an interesting comment on that culture. I think that attitude has a long history in Latin cultures--literally, Latin cultures, going all the way back to the Romans. If I'm remembering my John Boswell accurately, the Romans were horrified by the idea of a free adult male citizen being "penetrated," but quite willing to accept it in boys and slaves.

And, oh, yes, I have known of some allegedly straight guys who were derogatorily known behind their backs as "six-beer queers."
« Last Edit: April 19, 2006, 06:11:39 pm by Jeff Wrangler »
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline RouxB

  • BetterMost Welcome Wagon & Contributor
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,471
  • ...a love that will never grow old
Re: Interesting story in the Metro UK today..thoughts?
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2006, 06:24:12 pm »
It doesn't surprise me. I am a firm believer that we are sexual beings and have infinite capacity for  sexual intimacy.

Heathen