Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
*Slightly* OT Confessions: How Much is TOO MUCH Before You'd QUIT Someone?
Sheyne:
--- Quote from: isabelle on May 01, 2006, 06:53:53 am ---
--- Quote from: hungry_hungryhippos on May 01, 2006, 12:58:40 am --- I have an autistic son.
It always proves too much for the people who come near my life. Like the Sarah character, I too, had a very brief taste of the man of my dreams who I worshipped from afar for a long time. I took a risk in telling him and it paid off. For a little while. Predictably, the complications of my life were too much for him and he broke it off. Perhaps NOT the man of my dreams after all?? Who knows.
--- End quote ---
Sheyne, one of my friends has an autistic son. I am not just saying, it's true. Her name is Laurence, if that can make her sound any more real. She is lucky in that her boyfriend is still with her. But I think I can imagine what it is like for you.
Another friend, very close, adopted a child who turned out to be handicapped. She made a big problem out of it whereas it was alright for her husband. Now there are on their way to divorce.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that for the people I know, it has not been a problem for their close ones in their lives, but for themselves. You are perfectly right to talk openly about having an autistic child, and those for whom it proves too much are best left alone. So probably that one was not the man of your life after all.
My friend with the autistic child found support from everyone including her son's school teachers, but also from an association of parents who have the same experience. You might get to meet someone there? Someone for whom it would not prove too much.
--- End quote ---
Thanks for the thoughts. Although, I can't say enough how much Will's disability is NOT a problem for me. Its funny, people are always saying to me "must be tough", "I don't know how you do it" etc. The simple fact is: I've never known any differently. And it IS tough, but what parent would tell you differently?? Its a rough gig, if you're determined to do a good job, with or without a disability. And to Leighton's (man of my dreams... or maybe not) credit, he tried. But ultimately, trying was something he wasn't prepared to do for any great length of time. Mostly because Will was so time consuming for me and Leighton was a guy who liked a lot of attention. (men, I swear.. lol) I don't resent him for deciding to break it off, but it still broke my heart.
I know I've got a great kid here. And I don't like telling people we meet that he has Autism, because they cease to see a rambunctious, happy, sweet and incredibly bright little boy and they start seeing a walking disability. Its frustrating. They automatically start cataloguing what he "can't" do and I'm just itching to yell at them "but look at what he CAN do!" Anyway..
--- Quote from: isabelle on May 01, 2006, 06:53:53 am ---On a lighter note, if you have gender issues, why not try girls?? NO, I am NOT on a self-promoting tour here, I was just thinking out loud. Yeah, I am some thinker, I know.
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--- End quote ---
Good god, Isabelle. :o Don't let Ray hear you say that!!! lol.. He admitted Saturday night that he's on a mission to turn me gay. *in hoarse, dramatic whisper* Don't encourage him!! :-X
;D
rtprod:
--- Quote ---In any case, the door is now closed. I don't do relationships anymore.
--- End quote ---
Sheyne, not locked though I presume...
rt
isabelle:
Wow, Sheyne, I didn't know Ray had that idea too! I must really know you well then ;)
I did not mean "oh I imagine your son is a problem for you", I meant I can imagine what it is like if you are alone with a child, ANY child (I had that for a few years, and it's hard). And especially, I can imagine how hard it is to have OTHER people start seeing Will differently once they hear he has autism.
There HAS to be someone sensible enough and sensitive enough to be there WITH you if they love you, and all I'm saying is... yes, men do tend to need a lot of attention. That's why I was suggesting girls, you know, from experience, like ;D... No offence boys!
Sheyne:
--- Quote from: rtprod on May 01, 2006, 11:14:15 am ---
--- Quote ---In any case, the door is now closed. I don't do relationships anymore.
--- End quote ---
Sheyne, not locked though I presume...
rt
--- End quote ---
Yeah, locked-ish. :-\ And I threw away the key. But you never know. Maybe one day somebody will find it.
Isabelle, you are too cute. I have been with girls before actually. And I still think very fondly of my female relationships. *hoarse whisper* In any case, don't tell Ray, he doesn't need any further encouragement!!
And I did know what you meant about Will. Kids aren't easy. God. I want to shake these idealist friends of mine who can't WAIT to have kids cause they've got these shiny beautiful fantasies of cuddles and Kodak moments; of driving the kids to soccer and luxuriating over a Sunday breakfast in bed with two perfectly groomed, well-mannered kids frolickly happily around the room and completing their oh-so-perfect vision of parenthood. And anyone who's been there knows the reality is jam packed with sleep-deprived bags under your eyes, kids diving head-first at the tray on the bed and knocking scalding coffee flying and upending the jam toast over the bedspread. LOL...
*sheyne takes sarcasm cap off*
;D
isabelle:
--- Quote from: hungry_hungryhippos on May 02, 2006, 04:23:42 am --- I want to shake these idealist friends of mine who can't WAIT to have kids cause they've got these shiny beautiful fantasies of cuddles and Kodak moments; of driving the kids to soccer and luxuriating over a Sunday breakfast in bed with two perfectly groomed, well-mannered kids frolickly happily around the room and completing their oh-so-perfect vision of parenthood. And anyone who's been there knows the reality is jam packed with sleep-deprived bags under your eyes, kids diving head-first at the tray on the bed and knocking scalding coffee flying and upending the jam toast over the bedspread. LOL...
;D
--- End quote ---
LOL Sheyne! All I have to say is EXACTLY, EXACTLY, and EXACTLY :laugh:
Yeah, my female relationships are those I think of most fondly too. Methinks it's a sign... ;)
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