Simply,I don't understand his reaction,not as much as being in silence,as not being by his friend side in his last journey and behave as if nothing had happenned afterwards.
I'm just having a really hard time understanding where people are coming from here.
1) GRIEF IS A PRIVATE THING. Unique to each person. And it obviously comes from a place of emotion, not logic (or not what we — a bunch of fans and strangers
on the outside looking in) decide is "logical".
2) Do we
know for a fact Jake attended no memorial service? He could have been at the L.A. one. Might even have visited the family in Perth. WE DON'T KNOW.
3) A lot of how we react to a close one's death depends on what we feel happens after death. (Has the person 'moved on to a better place'? Been reborn? Have they simply ceased to exist? Are they hanging around, ghost-like, seeing who 'pays respects' and who doesn't? Do they have awareness of our thoughts and feelings – a semi-godlike state?)
Your guess on all these is as good as mine. But the point is, our feelings on this probably hugely influence our theories on how the bereaved should behave.
4) Jake comes from a spiritually diverse upbringing (Jewish mother, Swedenborgian father). He studied Eastern religion/philosophy at Columbia. And he had sufficient inner depth and emotional intuition to plumb for the part of Jack in such a way as to break our hearts. Doubting his grief or sincerity at this time just seems out of the question to me.
If Jake were to say something, would it just make all our pain go away? We all have our reactions to this situation: our own grief, thoughts and wishes. I just respectfully ask: isn't this kind of a big burden, a big expectation, to put on Jake? That a few words from him should have to be some miraculous balm for all our grief?
Personally, I'm thankful that he has some space. I hate that he's under so much pressure to say something so perfectly moving and classy as to completely soothe the hearts of every single grieving stranger.