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Singles R Us
CellarDweller:
Well, single here.
It's only recently (the past year or so) that I've actively dated. I always kept to myself and had a wall up around me.
On top of that, I had very low self esteem. I've come to learn that you can't be a good partner to someone, and you can't love someone, if you don't love yourself.
I've also learned that you can't look for someone to be the "missing piece" in your life. You need to complete yourself, and then find somone who respects you, and who you respect.
One thing I didn't count on was the feeling of being "out of touch" with the dating scene. With some of the things that get suggested to me, I end up feeling like a prude.
:laugh:
Kelda:
--- Quote from: KristinDaBomb on September 24, 2007, 12:21:26 am ---I'm single, but I'm 18 and still in school so my parents pay for the groceries lol.
[/quote
heee enjoy it when you can Krisitn - and welcome to bettermost and the How We Live Forum :-*
--- End quote ---
shortfiction:
--- Quote from: notBastet on September 10, 2007, 10:14:54 pm ---I was driving home from the grocery store last night (I do all of my best thinking in the car), and I thought, "Hey, there should be a singles thread on Bettermost."
So, here I started one!
I shall tell a few stories about myself and my 'single-ness' I guess, to get things started...
Story 1:
I recently broke-up with my significant other. I had tried to make the relationship work for a really long time, 6 or 12 years, depending on your prospective. And, you know what, it just didn't work, and I realized I could go on struggling and being miserable, or get out of dodge. I chose the latter. I do find it frustrating sometimes that 'the world' acts like you failed, or you didn't try hard enough, when you choose to end your relationship. Maintaining the relationship just for the sake of saying you maintained the relationship is not always a good thing to do.
Story 2:
I received an email from a longtime friend today - someone I email regularly, though not frequently. I announced my recent break-up as news in my reply. I hope my friend is happy for me, and not sad, and not feeling sorry for me...
Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous.
:)
--- End quote ---
If I shop at Trader Joe's and am careful, I don't have to spend an exorbitant amount.
I am single, age 42, hetero, female. I often travel alone though I also like to hang out with friends. Many of my pals are also single and have no kids, though this is not the case for all of them.
I tend to attract the unwanted attention of men twice my age! :-\
notBastet:
Today I had a day where I would read love poems and go, "Ewww. Who wants to bother with all that?" Does that ever happen to anyone else? Interestingly (or not), love songs never make me feel that way. I can take sappy ole love songs any time of day, any day of the week...
delalluvia:
My sister was recently dumped by her young lover. I listened to her grief with sympathy, though I had my doubts about what kind of relationship it really was (my sister's self-esteem is rock bottom and she will consider some guy she gave a blowjob to after a night on the town as the beginning of a 'relationship'). At some point she wailed,
"Well, do you just give up?"
That woke me up because I realized it was not a rhetorical question. Though I had forgotten and not thought much of it, she was well aware I have not dated nor even had sex with anyone in over 4 years now.
I told her that we were just two different people. She had been married and now had a child so relationships with men were very important to her, while I have been for the most part single all my life, and relationships with men were just something that kinda came and went.
The longer I stay alone, the longer I like to stay alone and after much thought, have decided that men are just too expensive. I'm a feminist of the old school and believe in equal dating. He treats me, I treat him and believe me, he gets the better end of the deal because men eat a great deal. My restaurant meals consist of an entree and some ice tea. My last few exes idea of dinner was wine, an appetizer, a salad, an entree and dessert!
Even eating at home was expensive. My idea of an at-home meal left them hungry, so much larger portions and/or snacks were the order of the day.
I was going broke fast dating them.
So now, as I'm trying to figure out how to afford a house/condo/mobile home of my own, men are just not in the equation anymore. They've turned out to be a luxury I can't afford.
I don't feel bad about it though. Not like some women. I've had chances to marry or be with someone on a permanent basis. 3 men were dead serious about it and would have married me in a second had I wanted to marry them. So, it's not like I never had a choice or the opportunity.
My mother is sad about it. She's not doing well healthwise and may not be around much longer. She told me that she would have liked to have seen me and my sister settled down and happy with families of our own before she left. Instead she has a pair of daughters, one divorced and the other uninterested in white picket fences, that she will likely go to her grave worried about. :-\
She had hoped I'd meet some nice decent guy.
I told her if she knew where they were she should tell me. ;D
Now, as for:
--- Quote ---Story 2:
I received an email from a longtime friend today - someone I email regularly, though not frequently. I announced my recent break-up as news in my reply. I hope my friend is happy for me, and not sad, and not feeling sorry for me...
--- End quote ---
When I e-mailed my firiends about being dumped last time, I found out who my friends were. Those I called my friends instantly sided with me, sight unseen, because they knew, in any relationship, I would not have earned nor deserved being dumped.
Others who hemmed and hawed and wanted to remain 'objective' I cut out of my life. Obviously they didn't know me as well as they said.
--- Quote ---Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous
--- End quote ---
Jeez, I spend easily $10 or more per day and that's if I don't go out with friends on the weekend and eat out. Lunch alone at the deli I eat at is costly, but is too convenient for me to ignore due to my busy work schedule. I don't cook worth a damn, so being Susie Homemaker and cooking all my meals to save money doesn't work.
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