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Do you forgive or do you hold a grudge?

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injest:
hmmm. I don't think that forgiveness works like that all the time, David. I wish I could be as kind and good as you but I tend to want to hit people back....

David In Indy:

--- Quote from: injest on October 17, 2007, 07:47:22 pm ---I don't forgive....not for major stuff. Don't like to set myself up to be hurt again.

well, for most people. Some that I have a previous relationship I can forgive SMALL things..

this actually is not as simple as I thought at first!

 :laugh: :laugh:

--- End quote ---

It's a good question isn't it Jess?

I inadvertently hurt someones feelings today and I didn't mean to. They felt I was criticizing them and I wasn't. They asked for my opinion and I offered it in the most gentle way I could. They recoiled at me and then told me I was no longer their friend. I told them I was sorry and they refused to forgive me. And I feel very hurt now.

On the drive home, I kept thinking about the movie The Color Purple, and particularly the scene I posted up above. I guess this is why I asked the question. Is the whole world like this now? I never thought this person would react like this. They have criticized me numerous times, and I always tried to view their criticism as helpful information. But apparently it's different when I do it. Even when I try to be as kind as possible as I do it.  :'(

injest:

--- Quote from: David on October 17, 2007, 08:14:46 pm ---It's a good question isn't it Jess?

I inadvertently hurt someones feelings today and I didn't mean to. They felt I was criticizing them and I wasn't. They asked for my opinion and I offered it in the most gentle way I could. They recoiled at me and then told me I was no longer their friend. I told them I was sorry and they refused to forgive me. And I feel very hurt now.

On the drive home, I kept thinking about the movie The Color Purple, and particularly the scene I posted up above. I guess this is why I asked the question. Is the whole world like this now? I never thought this person would react like this. They have criticized me numerous times, and I always tried to view their criticism as helpful information. But apparently it's different when I do it. Even when I try to be as kind as possible as I do it.  :'(



--- End quote ---

aw Sweet David!!

{{{}}}

don't take it so personally....sounds to me like maybe they were having a bad day and just struck out at you. I know you try to be kind to everyone around you.

who knows what is going on in other people's heads? I can barely figure out what is going on in MINE...

{{{{{{{David}}}}}}}}

I love you!! and I think you are WONDERFUL!!

don't you let someone in a bad mood bother you...it will be better tomorrow...

karen1129:
Like David said, I believe we have to forgive those who hurt us for our own healing.
Doesn't mean we have to like that person , or be around them anymore, but I
I believe you need to forgive for yourself. 
You can spend a lot of time hating someone and that person doesn't even know it. Or care.

My motto is...................   forgive, forget and move on.
Letting go of that hate or hurt is a very freeing experience and
positive draws people to you .

K

Shakesthecoffecan:
I come from a long line of grudge holders. I hold some of their grudes yet, but I try not to add to them. I think if you forgive someone then you do not become a victim of the perceived wrong they have done to you.

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