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Do you forgive or do you hold a grudge?
dot-matrix:
I always try to forgive and forget. Usually I'm pretty successful with the forgiving part if I can put the person out of my mind and out of my life (if the offense is serious enough) but I find I struggle with forgetting. My good opinion once lost is usually never again regained in the same measure. I would never strike out or demean them but I would keep my distance if I could not avoid them altogether.
I'd like to believe that people are not malicious, that sometimes things are just mistakes, poor judgement, a miscalculation, a misunderstanding or personal, cultural or lifestyle differences but one hurt to many has taught me that there are some people in the world who are just plain mean for no good reason other than it gives them pleasure to cause others pain or problems. I am especially offended by the sneaky ones, those who do so hiding behind someone or something else, or pretending to be someone they are not instead of owning their actions and opinions.
injest:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on October 18, 2007, 12:41:41 am ---I always try to forgive and forget. Usually I'm pretty successful with the forgiving part if I can put the person out of my mind and out of my life (if the offense is serious enough) but I find I struggle with forgetting. My good opinion once lost is usually never again regained in the same measure. I would never strike out or demean them but I would keep my distance if I could not avoid them altogether.
I'd like to believe that people are not malicious, that sometimes things are just mistakes, poor judgement, a miscalculation, a misunderstanding or personal, cultural or lifestyle differences but one hurt to many has taught me that there are some people in the world who are just plain mean for no good reason other than it gives them pleasure to cause others pain or problems. I am especially offended by the sneaky ones, those who do so hiding behind someone or something else, or pretending to be someone they are not instead of owning their actions and opinions.
--- End quote ---
*Jess giving a standing ovation!!*
you stated exactly how I feel, Dottie. Those sneaky people...they are an alien breed. I just can't think like that...
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: injest on October 18, 2007, 12:48:53 am ---*Jess giving a standing ovation!!*
you stated exactly how I feel, Dottie. Those sneaky people...they are an alien breed. I just can't think like that...
--- End quote ---
{{{{Jess}}}} I knew there was a reason I liked you girlfriend :-*
ifyoucantfixit:
Maybe we could set up a scenario.. you have someone who hurts you over and over, and you keep
letting it go and letting it go. They do not even acknowledge it that they have done anything wrong..So you continue to take all the blame for the difficulties. You forgive, and even if you dont think you have done anything
wrong..Apologize over and over...Then that person tells you that if you would stop doing that, you wouldnt
have to keep apologizing...Are you still supposed to keep apologizing..and forgiving, when you are repeatedly
being hurt...?
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: ifyoucantfixit on October 18, 2007, 02:18:54 am ---
Maybe we could set up a scenario.. you have someone who hurts you over and over, and you keep
letting it go and letting it go. They do not even acknowledge it that they have done anything wrong..So you continue to take all the blame for the difficulties. You forgive, and even if you dont think you have done anything
wrong..Apologize over and over...Then that person tells you that if you would stop doing that, you wouldnt
have to keep apologizing...Are you still supposed to keep apologizing..and forgiving, when you are repeatedly
being hurt...?
--- End quote ---
No! The scenario you describe Janice is one where I would definitely feel the need to excise this person from my life. People like that, at best are not self aware, at worst they are toxic.
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