Our BetterMost Community > The Polling Place
Do You Believe in Marriage?
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: moremojo on October 24, 2007, 10:27:30 am ---Marriage is an anachronism, a relic from a patriarchal era in which women (and children) were treated as chattel, and families felt the need to forge alliances out of social or economic agendas. Marriage had nothing to do with romantic love until very recently in history. I am also totally opposed to married people getting benefits denied to unmarried folk--in fact, I'd like to see the state completely remove itself from the sanctioning of marriage (let religious institutions continue to endorse it if they choose).
I have nothing against two (or more) people entering into a form of marriage if that's what they want to do, but I don't see why I should be called upon to celebrate or applaud it. And I don't think they should get special treatment over those who do not marry.
--- End quote ---
Oooooooh, I agree 100%!!!
Not sure why married couples are favored...I think it's simply because it's the social structure that the govt. placed its tax base on. Supposedly a more stable group (because they will have children) and thus less likely to just pick up and go. The govt. should cut single women and older single men the same privileges. Not sure about single young men though. History shows that it's usually the young single men who are the most destructive. In earlier days, roping them into responsibilities young with marriage was a way of ameliorating their impact on society.
Ellemeno:
In some ways, marriage is a lot easier than living alone. In some ways, it's a lot harder. I got married to someone I love, but there were definitely pragmatic reasons involved in the choice. And I took his last name, even though I don't like his last name, because I wanted even that to show we are a family. (I tried to get him to choose a new last name together with me, but he would have none of it.)
I would say more of my coupled friends are NOT married than are. And I'm not sure that the differences I see between those relationships is because of that or not. I'm glad we're married, but like I said, love a lot of people who don't want to be.
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on October 27, 2007, 03:48:16 am ---In some ways, marriage is a lot easier than living alone. In some ways, it's a lot harder. I got married to someone I love, but there were definitely pragmatic reasons involved in the choice. And I took his last name, even though I don't like his last name, because I wanted even that to show we are a family. (I tried to get him to choose a new last name together with me, but he would have none of it.)
I would say more of my coupled friends are NOT married than are. And I'm not sure that the differences I see between those relationships is because of that or not. I'm glad we're married, but like I said, love a lot of people who don't want to be.
--- End quote ---
Not to veer off on a tangent again, but once his idea of what 'showed' you 'are a family' didn't match yours - he didn't think sharing the same name mattered - why did you bother to change yours?
Lynne:
I voted 'It's complicated.' If society is going to endorse marriage at all, then for me it goes without saying that it should be equally available without regard to sexual orientation, etc. Like others have said, though, it's a patriarchal institution we inherited from the days when women were chattel and used to strengthen alliances and fortunes and had little to do with love. I don't think married people should have preferential tax status over single people.
I think that the soaring divorce rate in this country has a lot of contributing factors and that it may indicate that marriage no longer serves us well as a society. Two reasons that come to mind are the economic independence of women and the increased lifespan. How realistic it is to think that two people who love each other at twenty will still feel that way at forty and sixty and eighty? It seems equally likely that you'll grow together or grow apart - hence the coin toss probability.
I'm divorced and although it was as amicable as humanly possible, it still completely sucks to feel like you've 'failed' at something that was so important to you. But looking back and trying to be objective, we didn't fail as individuals, we just bought into something that could not stay true for us. Reminds me of Ennis saying 'Once burned...' - I cannot imagine ever being in that same place when I would try again.
Edit: I recently attended the wedding of a good friend and it was terrific to see him so happy - deliriously happy, really. I hope it lasts for them.
opinionista:
I see marriage as an experience, not necessarily an obligation if that makes sense. I really see no difference between living with a partner and actually getting married (AKA, have a wedding and all that just to live together). Obviously there are legal differences but besides that, it is the same thing, IMO that is.
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