Our BetterMost Community > The Polling Place
Do You Believe in Marriage?
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: ifyoucantfixit on October 24, 2007, 02:28:58 am ---
Contrary to my usual voice. I have only two things to say on this question..The institution of marriage should
be available to whoever wants it.. And the reverse should also be available to others who dont want it...Both
ways should be the individuals own choice. With no recriminations, or disdain by others.. Certainly not the law.
Yes I have been married for over 50 years. Yes I think it has its advantages for raising children..But that is
a two sided sword also..It totally depends on the marriage.. The fact of being married, gives you a certain amount
of stability and it provides you a helpmeet..Having said that..it also can be a problem for people trying to explore
themself..There is a certain amount of stifeling goes on..It all depends on what you place the most value on..
Your independance, or your partnership...?
--- End quote ---
Well said. In other threads, I've been complaining about the differences between me and my sister, and I think one of the major issues between us is that my sister has never been alone in her life. She went straight from home to college, college roommates, then boyfriend, lliving with said boyfriend, then fiance, then husband and after the divorce her child. She has never been alone and as such, depends heavily on the resources in the relationships she defines as partnerships or other familial relationships.
I moved out of the home while still in college and have lived alone for the entire time, except for 1.5 years when I did live with a boyfriend or roommates.
The same sharing and availability that she knew in marriage she expects from me.
On a recent trip, at night, I wanted to wind down in peace and quiet and read. She wanted to watch TV and talk.
I consider her expectations presumptous, annoying and selfish.
e.g. she recently changed jobs. Lot more money, but she lost the company car and laptop. She immediately expected me to open my home to her whenever she needs to use a computer now.
I expect her to use her extra money to buy her own as I don't want to see her as often as she needs to use my computer.
moremojo:
Marriage is an anachronism, a relic from a patriarchal era in which women (and children) were treated as chattel, and families felt the need to forge alliances out of social or economic agendas. Marriage had nothing to do with romantic love until very recently in history. I am also totally opposed to married people getting benefits denied to unmarried folk--in fact, I'd like to see the state completely remove itself from the sanctioning of marriage (let religious institutions continue to endorse it if they choose).
I have nothing against two (or more) people entering into a form of marriage if that's what they want to do, but I don't see why I should be called upon to celebrate or applaud it. And I don't think they should get special treatment over those who do not marry.
Shakesthecoffecan:
Thank you Scott for being the first man to post, I will try and weigh in with my jumbuled thoughts.
I do not believe in marriage as something you just do. My parents married because it was what people did at a certain age and it also got him a deferment from the draft.
What I believe is, if you find someone that you love so much that you want to tell the world, shout it from the roof tops, and they feel the same way, then you are good candidates for marriage. To stand up in front of a bunch of people and tell one another the things that are in your heart, must be a powerful thing. I mean, I imagine it as a powerful, liberating and validating thing.
I also think it should be just as easy to get out of but I know better than to think that can happen. :)
Scott6373:
Simple answer: No...so why am I? Million bucks if someone can answer that
Wishes:
Considering the house I grew up in, I'll say no. I found nothing good about it and certainly had no inclination to do that to myself.
I'm all for the freedom to marry and I of coarse believe gay and straight should be allowed to marry. With the divorce rate as it is in the U.S. (I believe >50%) it seems like a poor gamble. The only time I know actual peace is when I'm inside with the cats and no one can get to me.
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