Wasting Time- Chapter 2
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Sitting alone by the computer
as the clock ticks by the minutes
I am being kept company
by the hum of the modem
and the occasional "beep" of my YIM system
while I carry on conversation
and put my thoughts onto my blog
So much has changed since "chapter 1"
and it can be surprising
how what was so important to you before
can seem so insingificant now
and make you question
your thought processes and priorities
I find my feelings of fatherhood to have disappeared
and the appeal of travel taking importance
seeing the world instead of
setting up home
and wanting the freedom to go as I please
without having to worry about the care of a young one
I know I have not missed out on love
had it in my life before
much to my surprise
and I know i will have it again
it will be mine, and I'll hold it with both hands
tight enough not to lose it
but gentle enough not to bruise it.
My writing is taking shape and form
but I still question if it is ready to be seen
and if there is an audience for it
and if I have the talent to put it out there
and the strength to face the rejection that will come
wondering if I should've started this much earlier
instead of at almost 40.
I've accomplished much in the past 2 years
more than I thought was possible
but I feel that a part of me
will never be satisfied with that
and always convinced that
I waste too much time