But, as to the specific quote about "fun"... like I said in my post above, I do think Ennis fell in love with fun. Not with Cassie obviously, but with Jack.
I couldn't agree more, of course. The flip side extends only as far as the fact that not only don't girls fall in love with fun, but Ennis doesn't fall in love with fun *girls*.
It seems Jack is the most and first fun to come his way in a long time, probably in his entire life, - and Jack is working on the fun it very deliberately and diligently too, to get Ennis out of his shell. Like everyone here I love love love those few happy scenes on the mountain like crazy. When Ennis finally *smiles*..... Oh God, there's no emoticon here sufficient for that!
then after he asks "Does he love you?", Ennis looks to his right and there's a silence filled only by the sound of - yeah, you guessed it - wind. And then Ennis looks so lonely ...
This to me is the most poignant and sad part of the entire Ennis/Alma Jr. conversation, because of Ennis's expression there, as his head is turned away and as he turns back towards his daughter. He's got "missing Jack" written all over his features so eloquently it still makes me catch my breath after my umpteenth viewing.
I like the point you make about changes in attitudes in society in general. That's exactly where my previous post about not necessarily managing to read the same as some other Brokaholics - ie. one overriding influence only - into the Ennis/Alma Jr. exchange comes in.
In my view, Ennis is conforming to society's requirements in asking if Kurt loves her. It's not an otherwise unheard-of thing for a father to ask, not something that only his love for Jack would make him think of. Ennis had a lonely life, but he didn't live outside of cultural influences - I bet he went with Cassie to see a sappy movie now and then (The early script has them watching one of the Star Wars films, has it not?) And he has got a TV set....
I think culture in general demanded that one of the things he as a father *should* be interested in making sure of, was the "does he love you part" - in addition to finding out if the guy has a job and can provide for a family with his financial situation. But Ennis has already inadvertedly touched on that latter part since he's been told Kurt works, has a decent car, and is a roughneck.
That doesn't diminish the importance of his question, neither the fact that the taciturn and emotionally restrained Ennis actually asks it at all (with the pain it gives, the thoughts of Jack), nor its obvious importance to Alma Jr., who is extremely touched, and seems to perhaps have expected objections rather than him asking her something personal about love.
But I think that in asking his daughter whether her fiancee loves her, and likewise also in agreeing to actually attend her wedding, Ennis is helped along in his actions by the fact that in both matters he's conforming to society's expectations, - not going against them like his living with Jack would have been. Although doing both those things still takes a lot for Ennis to do - asking his daughter such a personal question, even thinking to ask it; - and attending the wedding; being in the spotlight of the guests there, meeting Alma..... there's a combination of personal and public influences make him behave the way he does. It's not *only* the impact of loving and losing Jack, though that obviously plays a significant part.
I've previously read a lot of discussions where society's expectations of Ennis in that scene haven't been taken into account at all. In my view they do play a part - his perception of society's expectations has shaped his entire adult life to crippling effect, after all - to some extent they always will. Only this time, society's expectations actually help him along in re-connecting emotionally with a person he loves. It's a bittersweet contrast to his the entire clandestine relationship with Jack. Also a small and oblique reminder about what *could* have been, if their society had only had other norms for "two guys living together".....
"If you don't got nothin', then you don't need nothin'."
Oh yes! I was thinking about proposing that one, but there's so much to say.......where to even begin? I'll be looking forward to the posts on this.
Reading the loss of Jack into it makes it absolutely heartbreaking - but what does it mean to the
listener, to Alma Jr? What does she think he's saying?