~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Meryl]

** HE ESCAPED! **

[Meryl]

** Er, I mean...**



** How could anyone possibly think that I would deprive the world of our precious TERRY?! **

[alec716]

** Er, I mean...**



** How could anyone possibly think that I would deprive the world of our precious TERRY?! **

((  TERRY CLOTH, freshly laundered and folded and de-splintered, is getting his moxie back.  The few AUDIENCE MEMBERS who had returned in the hopes that his acting career might be all washed up leave yet again.  )) 



TERRY CLOTH:

**  Deprive shmeprive, just check her hair for splinters, is all I'm sayin.  Now I got a tube a JBB to find... **

[southendmd]

AUDIENCE MEMBER:

The warshrag is back!  Long live the warshrag!

EAT LINT!

[Sashca1007]

ENNIS'S PERKY PRINT JAMMY PANTS:



** Hey! ...... Ps-s-s-s-st!    TERRY!  I know ya kin hear me, ya little worn out bundle a ravelin's!  And I know ya ain't forgot our night a 'dust-bunny lust', honey, under that bed in the dark.  Yeah...  all comin' back to ya now?  My big, long, cottony legs wrappin' around yore loopy little squareness...  an' you told me ya felt like you'd bin sprayed with a whole can a starch.....   and then ya said  'Ooooo, JAMMY, now I feel so relaxed it's like I had a double Downey dose....   what a pair o' PANTS!!!'   Remember THAT, little rag?  Hunh?!  So, what the HELL are you doin' lookin' fer that runty, rolled up tube a goo?!  Ya oughta at least be stickin' with your own kind, meanin' COTTON, and not some slatherin' little Slut Butt Cream!**

%%  Oh, what am I talkin' about....   I know I ain't nothin' compared to the likes a JACK'S PANTS ( ) what with all his fancy buttons and loops and french seams and whut-not, but I can still show a smarty pants little warshrag a better time than that little....   oh, who am I kiddin'.... that precious little tube is the sweetest danged thing I seen in years.  I reckon I'm just jealous a the both of 'em....  maybe one night Terry and JBB will get extra loopy an' invite me ta join 'em.....    sigh.....%%

**HEY!  Shake out your lint and listen to me, ya greasy little shop-rag!**

%% Ah, Terry, please come back to me.....  >snif<    %%

[Pipedream]

** HE ESCAPED! **

[coffeecat33]

[Daniel]

LAUREL SPARTA:

((As with the rest of the cast and crew, the production assistant Miss Sparta is overjoyed to hear of Terrycloth's return.))

**I'm overjoyed to hear of your return.... Now can we get on with the production?**

((Laurel grabs up her cellphone and quickly dials the production tower.))

**Alright, Cissy, go into my office and turn the Riverton set shuffle off. People are getting dizzy and I do want to avoid as many lawsuits as possible.** ((Laurel wrinkles her nose.)) **They can be quite expensive, and if there's anything this production does NOT have, its an infinite budget.**

[welliwont]

JAKETWIST~

Ok, does anyone  remember where we are in the script?  Daniel??  Leslie???  You guys?  do you even know  your lines?  Why are we still hanging in the middle of scene 53?  Who's up next?  Leslie?  Daniel?  Now ya know  we don't have any child actors to play the girls, so you will just have to imagine that there are two little girls sitting in that truck over there.....

%%Why does it always hafta be me  who steers this show back on course?%%

Cheese Wiz you guys........

((JakeTwist turns and walks to the other side of the set taking deep breaths, eyes rolling and bugging out of his her head))

%%I gotta relax, relax....  calm down......  breathe.....  cain't let this happen again.....%%

Ok, now I am sure that everyone is over the moon that our beloved breakout star TERRY CLOTH has found his way back to us once more, and yes  Management has stepped up  the security on the set and we have  hired more security detail to be on watch for certain undesirables.

So everyone  can just relax  and get back to work goddammit....

((JT starts to lose it again, walks away again, breathing deeply))

%%Just my luck ol' SPARTAN APPLES would have to be hangin' around today.  She's probably spyin' on me, I just know  she's after my job....%%

[saucycobblers]

TERRY CLOTH:

**  Now I got a tube a JBB to find... **

((After staring at BAD BYRON for near on a week, and even a few abortive attempts at friendly conversation, JBB is beginning to suspect that BB is either dead, a butt rub of few words (well, none actually), or that...*gasp*...JBB Butt Cream Enterprises and our beloved director-in-chief were unable to cast the part because no effen actors turned up for the audition  .

JBB sighs heavily.))

JBB:

**Another butt rub bites the dust
        And JBB's left full of lust
        I just want a hug
        From that son of a rug
        But go on without him I must.**

((JBB draws himself up to his full height of 7 and one quarter inches and, now fully recovered from the Del Mar lurgy, straightens his lid and resolves to enter back into the PT with renewed vigour. He rolls out onto ALMA's porch and gasps...))

JBB:

**TERRY... FUCKIN'... CLOTH!!!**