DIRECTOR WELLIWONT~
((strides happily to the front and centre of the stage, flapping papers in her hand))
((in a very loud voice))
I have good news! VERY good news!
I have just received a teletype message from France! LaShawn is on the Eurostar Train, speeding her way back here as we speak! I mean as I speak, hehe.
So if everyone could just be a little more patient and stop demanding their money back, she will be here very soon! In the meantime, please continue to enjoy our excellent impromptu entertainment.
((welliwont turns and leave the stage))