Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Another viewing, and a revelation
Kelda:
Barb, you couldn't have explained it better if you tried.
x
Ellemeno:
I am in awe when kids/people DO tell. It may suck, but if it's the only life the kid knows, they can't help but wonder - what if telling makes life worse?
And usually, as Barb is describing, that kind of abuse isn't usually an isolated incident in an otherwise Leave it to Beaver life. Usually there's chaos, fear, distrust, unpredictability that is also going on. Who ya gonna tell, in that kind of situation?
ednbarby:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on October 19, 2006, 09:18:44 pm ---I am in awe when kids/people DO tell. It may suck, but if it's the only life the kid knows, they can't help but wonder - what if telling makes life worse?
And usually, as Barb is describing, that kind of abuse isn't usually an isolated incident in an otherwise Leave it to Beaver life. Usually there's chaos, fear, distrust, unpredictability that is also going on. Who ya gonna tell, in that kind of situation?
--- End quote ---
I do believe you hit the proverbial nail on the head, there.
One time, some good friends and I were having some drinks at a party at their house, and we got talking about our dysfunctional childhoods. He says, "Let's see which of us had the most dysfunctional childhood - I bet I've got you both beat." They both come from households where the parents stayed together not because they had to but because they actually loved each other and where money was never a problem. There was some minor chaos, to my mind, for both of them mostly because they both had several siblings growing up. So I said, "Well, let's see, now..." I gave them a little synopsis of A Day in the Life from when I was about seven, not even including my brother's role in it in the least little bit. Their mouths dropped open and he says, "O-KAY. You win."
David:
--- Quote from: ednbarby on October 16, 2006, 01:38:57 pm ---Right back atcha. Yes, his closing of that closet troubles me greatly, and on this last viewing I had my moment of revelation at that precise point because it is so troubling. When the screenwriters themselves say that they don't see Ennis getting any further in terms of accepting himself, and in fact see him actually becoming more isolated and more homophobic, and when the creator ends the story with the line, from Ennis' point of view, "But if you can't fix it, you've got to stand it," there's no way to me he would have ever gotten past it. Everyone is free, of course, to interpret it as they may and wish and hope the best for him, but I don't see him as getting any further as far as accepting himself goes. I do like to think of him being a doting grandfather, but that is already in his nature, and of trying harder not to let Alma Jr. and Jenny/Francine down, but that's as far as it goes.
--- End quote ---
Oh I definately think Ennis will make more of an attempt to see the girls. But I am sure Ennis would never go near another guy like Jack again. Jacks death only confirmed the fears he has carried all along. And if it means he must live alone the rest of his life he will.
isabelle:
Hello Barbara,
I have only just read this thread; I must say that I was on the brink of tears when I read your OP, Barb. Not because I see you as a "poor victim" (although you were a victim), but because I know the weight of things untold, and I got the feeling I could just touch on the depth of pain you must have gone through.
I too know the problem of having an alcoholic parent, and the utter helplessness and fear as a child when you are alone with that parent. At the age you were then, and knowing the situation (somewhat), I am NOT surprised you said nothing. BUT I am so happy for you that you could finally tell your husband.
To continue on the closing shot of BBM, Ennis closing the door of that closet was what started the immense upheaval in me. I do believe he opens up to more "visible" love with his daughter(s), but in no way does he open up to the world about the feelings is once had for an other man. He definitely remains in the closet. I see Ennis as trapped for the rest of his life.
Unlike you, Barb. (I am still grappling with the Ennis within me).
I am so far from Florida... But this big hug will surely reach you over the big pond. :-*
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