Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
It's back.... with a vengeance.
Daniel:
--- Quote from: newyearsday on April 13, 2006, 11:37:59 am ---Daniel, I haven't read all of the thread, and will give more attention to this later, but for now I send you a lot of light. Everyone one who reads this, you can help Daniel by visualizing loving, healing white light infusing his body and being. Just put your hugs into that form, and your wishes for him to feel more at peace. Also, Daniel, check your PMs ASAP.
Jenny
--- End quote ---
Nothing's there yet... lol. How long does it take?
ednbarby:
Of course, the irony in "If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it" from Brokeback's standpoint is that Ennis really *could have* fixed it, but his ingrained fears held him back.
In your case, I don't believe that it is something that can be fixed. You're in love. Unrequited love is still love just as much as love that is returned, after all. In fact that much moreso in the exquisite particular pain of its unrequitedness.
You've heard of Vlad the Impaler? I am Barb the Enabler. Here, lemme pour you a good stiff drink while we're at it. Take two - they're small. (Very) seriously, I hope I don't sound like I'm inviting you to self-medicate by saying all you can do is ride it out. Just the contrary - riding this out is like riding out coming off of heroin, I imagine. It's just that I don't think you can fix love. Time does heal - it's the only thing that does. But I'll warn you (and you probably already know) - you'll never stop loving him. Just like my real-life ultimately unrequited love - years later, when his name comes up in conversation with a mutual friend, it always makes me smile. And stabs me in the heart at the same time. Same, believe it or not, with JF. The adoration I felt for him was every bit as real and potent as that I felt for JM (what's with all the friggin' Js, anyway? Is there an alphaology, like numerology, at work, here???). The only difference is I actually got to see and touch (for a while) the latter in the flesh.
I truly feel your pain, Daniel. But I wouldn't trade these experiences I've had for never having known that pain. Because I think I wouldn't really have lived as fully as I have.
Daniel:
The way you describe it, it sounds like it doesn't really heal at all, it just fades away over time...
That's what I thought had happened before, then it surged back. How do I know that if it fades away again it won't come back worse than it has before?
Not trying to be contentious, just curious.
scottf.:
Dear Daniel,
Here's my two cents, based on personal experience.
I've read your posts, and what your turning out right now, as far as your writing, is absolutely beautiful, stunning, heartfelt, and yearning. I KNOW it's coming from pain, but it doesn't make your writing--how you are interpreting what is happening to you--any less beautiful. Marvelous stuff. Hope that doesn't sound cold.
I was unhappily in love a few years ago. I'll spare the details. But what I did was pour my heart out into my journals, letters to friends, etc. It didn't FEEL like it was helping much at the time, but it DID help. And now I can look back on all that writing (I saved it all) and think, "Wow, what an experience. I'm glad I documented it." And document it I did. Every glance, every imagining, every dream, every conversation.
Keep pouring it out, Daniel. We're reading and comiserating.
Daniel:
You know what I think would work...
He should record a message somewhere which says something like "Yeah, um. I don't like you. Don't ever want to hear from you again. Bye, forever." If I could just hear those words coming from his voice, I feel like I could get over it rather quickly.
Anyway, crazy ideas being thrown out.
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