Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
It's back.... with a vengeance.
newyearsday:
--- Quote from: Daniel on April 13, 2006, 11:50:21 am ---
--- Quote from: newyearsday on April 13, 2006, 11:37:59 am ---Daniel, I haven't read all of the thread, and will give more attention to this later, but for now I send you a lot of light. Everyone one who reads this, you can help Daniel by visualizing loving, healing white light infusing his body and being. Just put your hugs into that form, and your wishes for him to feel more at peace. Also, Daniel, check your PMs ASAP.
Jenny
--- End quote ---
Nothing's there yet... lol. How long does it take?
--- End quote ---
Sorry!! Check now, in two minutes! I got waylayed (sp?) in Signal. And, ditto what Barb said (as you know from previous conversations about this, I think. Still, more later. Now check PMs)
Daniel:
Cool, thanks.
ednbarby:
--- Quote from: Daniel on April 13, 2006, 01:00:09 pm ---You know what I think would work...
He should record a message somewhere which says something like "Yeah, um. I don't like you. Don't ever want to hear from you again. Bye, forever." If I could just hear those words coming from his voice, I feel like I could get over it rather quickly.
Anyway, crazy ideas being thrown out.
--- End quote ---
Not crazy at all. I think that's why I still feel so attached to that one unrequited love in my life - because he never did say those words. The only thing that got me most of the way past all-consuming thoughts of him was when he finally did get serious with someone else, and I saw how he was with her in person and how so not like how he was with me that was. But before he did that, the bastard had the nerve to tell me, after I'd met and had been dating my now husband for two months and was very happy in that relationship, that it "killed" him to think of me with another man. Then he proceeded to look at me with puppy dog eyes every time I saw him socially thereafter for another year, until he started seeing his now wife. I really think that had he just said to me when we broke up, "The truth is, I don't love you and I don't want you in my life," though it would have hurt like hell for a little while, it would have made him much easier to get over. And yes, the trouble with loving these guys is that there isn't even the opportunity for that. It's devastating. Believe me, I know.
And I think Scott's right, too. Keep writing, keep pouring it out. And don't burn it when you're done with it. And I do promise you again, you will be done with it. I think it's just resurged because the DVD's coming out renewed everyone's fervor for this movie - naturally all that would affect you. Same thing happened with me with Shakespeare in Love. There was a month or so lapse where I actually was able to function quite nicely without obsessing over JF's every little move, thankyouverymuch. Then the goddamned DVD came out, and I was right back at Square One. Again, don't be too hard on yourself about that.
sparkle_motion:
Daniel, please don't feel embarrassed or apologize! You have no reason to apologize.
There are too many people that lack the capacity to love and you have that and it should be cherished. You should feel privileged, not embarrassed!
Daniel:
Thank you both...
I do cherish the capacity to love, but I am ashamed about its direction. In fact I would almost prefer the terms "romantic obsession" to love because of that shame. Love is something which can be returned.
That being said, there is still a part of me that wants to call it love. *sighs in pain* But I think it is the idea that it can be returned from that particular direction which is ultimately the fictional aspect of it, the "dream-fantasy-reality".
I am not certain that I can stand this pain. I can try, but it interferes with so much of my capacity to live. I relish the feeling, but I have to try to avoid it in order to work and live as a normal human being.
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