Author Topic: Kerry's Komedy Klub  (Read 1381522 times)

Offline Kerry

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1030 on: August 30, 2007, 09:14:47 am »
"She's sitting in the wheel-barrow !!"

 :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:
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Offline Kerry

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1031 on: August 30, 2007, 09:15:57 am »

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Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1032 on: August 30, 2007, 03:04:35 pm »
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One Summer
they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't
unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would
approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then
speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would
wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick
exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the Police,
but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After
a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only
goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He
hadn't, and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel
and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up
and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and
then leave.

The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
"
Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.

"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

"Well, what is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, "Her name is Sally, and she's a battery salesperson."

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

"Yes," he replied.
SCROLL DOWN.



(You're gonna hate me for this... Scroll down some more)



A little bit more...........



She sells C cells by the seashore.
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Dagi

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1033 on: August 30, 2007, 05:36:28 pm »

"And what is she doing ?" he wanted to know.
"She's sitting in the wheel-barrow !!"


Clever pig  ;D !

Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1034 on: August 30, 2007, 11:59:15 pm »
Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been
having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand
in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The
headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in
the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and
see if he can do anything for that?"
 
The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps
into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
 
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better
than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in
the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she
sees him standing at the mirror and saying:
 
"She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

His funeral services will be held on Monday
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1035 on: August 31, 2007, 12:02:39 am »
Follow this link for a really amazing and truly clever piece of animation...

http://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline Kerry

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1036 on: August 31, 2007, 09:39:32 am »
Follow this link for a really amazing and truly clever piece of animation...

http://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097

Very clever, indeed!  :D
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Offline Kerry

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1037 on: August 31, 2007, 09:40:39 am »

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Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1038 on: August 31, 2007, 09:35:33 pm »
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #1039 on: September 01, 2007, 02:26:02 am »
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead ?" she asked the pupil.

"Because I pissed in it's ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,: explained the boy. "I leaned over and went 'Pssst" in it's ear and itdidn't move."
Life is not a dress rehearsal