Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum
powder.

"Don't move until i tell you," she said, "Pretend you are a statue."
"What's this ?" her husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's a statue," she replied. "The Smiths bought one and i liked
it so I got one for us, too."

Nothing more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around
2 am the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, " Have this, I stood like that for two
days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

[dot-matrix]

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington are on theTitanic.

As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts :  "Save the women !"

George Bush hysterically screeches, "Screw the women !"

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he asks, "Do we have time ?"

[underdown]

Hmmmmmm, folks,

Is it co-incidence that this thread has the initials   KKK   



Maybe some in the Deep South would identify with it?   

[underdown]

Better get home.

Have had quite enough of the office for one day.

Anyway ..... have to try out my new white ghost gown with the pointy hat   

[underdown]

Oh ... and Dottie, that one about George, George and Bill?

 


 

[Kerry]

Hmmmmmm, folks,

Is it co-incidence that this thread has the initials   KKK   


Maybe some in the Deep South would identify with it?   

When I chose the name for the Komedy Klub, Rob, I was trying to be cute and tie it in with my own name. I thought, at the time, that Kerry's Komedy Klub had a nice, almost onomatopoeic, laughter-filled, tintinnabulesque ring to it.

Also in my mind at the time was the name of one of Sydney's most notorious gay "saunas," Ken's Karate Klub (at Kensington), better knows to the locals as KKK, thus giving the Komedy Klub a gay edge, to those in the know.

I was absolutely horrified when someone here at BetterMost pointed out to me that KKK had hate-filled, murderous connotations in the USA. The white supremacist organisation known as the KKK had not entered my head prior to then. The Komedy Klub had already been operating for some months at that time, and when I realised what a distressing, hurtful connotation the initials KKK had for some of our dear BetterMost neighbours, I gave serious consideration to changing the name of this thread. Rather than take such a drastic course of action, however, I instead resolved to never again refer to this thread as KKK, or even Kerry's Komedy Klub, for that matter. I now only ever refer to it as the Komedy Klub.

I am still open on this, however, and would be please to change the name of this thread if anyone here at BetterMost finds it distressing or offensive.

This message comes from my heart.
 

[Katie77]

Another oldie, but goodie.


A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years


He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.


 He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.


While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife
Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!
 He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist,

dont complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseats you.
 This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both
 
 Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.


 He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.

 I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong honey.......I love you too....


 
 

[underdown]

Oh ........

Yes. Well. Ummm. Should we scrub all posts with KKK in them     

Hey, Kerry  ...... what if you changed your name to Cerry ?? Then it could be .......

 .. Naaaah. We'd all get confused, then.

[dot-matrix]

Some people never seem motivated to participate, but
are just content to watch while others do the work.

They are called "Spec Taters."

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted
at finding fault with the way the others do the work.

They are called "Comment Taters."

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what
to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.

They are called "Dick Taters."

Some people are always looking to cause problems by
asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too
cold, too sour or too sweet.

They are called "Agie Taters."

There are those who say they will help, but somehow
just never get around to doing the promised help.

They are called "Hezzie Taters."

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be
something they are not.

They are called "Emma Taters."

Then there are those who love others and do what they
say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever
they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real
sunshine into the lives of others.

They are called "Sweet Taters."

Which are you 

[dot-matrix]

Retirement Planning . . . . .

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it
would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.

With World Com you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would
have $49.00 left.

But, if you purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago,
drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminium
recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00. Based on
the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily
and recycle.

It is called the 401 -Keg Plan.