Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Secrets and Lies...
YaadPyar:
--- Quote from: Chanterais on April 17, 2006, 05:56:26 pm ---
... my relationship to the movie is so private that I find it difficult to discuss it. I can write about it, but when I try to talk about it, my brain goes all soggy and I can't get the words to work. It all sounds so inadequate.
--- End quote ---
I really do relate to this. I can be articulate and thoughtful and insightful about so many things, but ask me how I feel, and words totally fail me. I cannot speak of my emotions or they disappear into vapor. I am not being coy, but truly they are incompatible with the crisp definitions that words create.
I wonder if this is why we're so comfortable with the many silences of this film - because we need the space without the words to deeply feel what's in our own hearts.
--- Quote ---
I've read books and watched movies that are deeply important to them, and *whisper it* hated them. It's terrible when that happens. You want so badly to love them, but you can't. People are moved by different things, and at different times in their lives.
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True again. I'm so glad mostly that people have stopped recommending anything to me. I think I am a constant disappointment to anyone who expects me to like what they like. I try, but it just almost never works. I try to be less opinionated, but it seems to be hard-wired.
--- Quote ---
Are secrets and lies always insidious? I don't know, but I don't think so.
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It's so interesting to read this, and think more deeply about myself. I try to have no lies, but I live in secret in so many ways without even being aware of it. I don't think of myself as secretive, but I'm very private, in ways that most people never know about, because it's the nature of being private. And I love that feeling, of having a special place in myself that belongs only to me, that no one else can touch.
I love all the thoughtful responses - they're helping me think more deeply about all this.
delalluvia:
Great idea for a thread yaad, I get the impression from reading that some of us have never had an obsessive pasttime before so the 'have to hide' situation is a new experience.
Not to trivialize BBM or how people's real lives have been affected (that's the right word, correct?) and reflected in anyway, but this is how the adult Star Wars/LOTR/Star Trek/Harry Potter etc., geeks feel all the time.
They're crazy fans and all their friends know it. It's probably embarrassing to all but the most ardent fans that they write online stories, chat with one another, send little snippets of news, read all the latest books (yes, it's embarrassing for a grown woman to go purchase Star Wars Scholastic books because they're intended for pre-teen readers, yet they may have additional plot points, so you show up at Borders and pretend you're buying them for a niece or nephew (except for those rare times when the clerk selling them to you has a Darth Vader tattoo).
With your friends and family it's sometimes like Silent Bob and Jay, you have these great discussions on how the fall of the Star Wars Republic mirrors the fall of the ancient Roman republic or your family and friends hear a tidbit and just know you'd be interested and go out of their way to tell you. The lady who sits next to me at work showed me pics of her daughter's Star Wars theme wedding (down to the costumes and skits). But most of the time you never mention it and unless someone ELSE brings it up.
Then you gush.
YaadPyar:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on April 17, 2006, 07:38:30 pm ---
The lady who sits next to me at work showed me pics of her daughter's Star Wars theme wedding (down to the costumes and skits).
--- End quote ---
Good point...the hidden lives of those standing in plain sight... I have a friend at work who has a flip phone, and every time he open it, it makes the Star Trek tranponder sound.
I think I'm going to watch the DVD tonight when I get back from running errands. I haven't watched it all the way through even once, and think maybe I should, and see if I can understand some of this stuff more clearly.
monimm18:
Unbelievable! I gotta share this with you. Celeste, your thread made me ponder a lot. As I was considering (again) my friends' reactions to the film and to my love for it, I came to the conclusion that there's only one friend who probably would understand my obsession with BBM and would enjoy talking about this film. She lives in Minneapolis and she hates long phone conversations, so we usually catch up on our friedship when we visit each other.
So, while I am having warm thoughts about my open-minded friend, I notice she sent me an email. I open it, and it's a joke she sent to everyone of her friends. It said: "I am not a fan of sequels, but this looks like a good one!" There was an attachment. I open it, and this is what I see (see attachment).
I cannot begin to describe how dissapointed and duped I felt. There's another one for whom I lose respect...
So, now, all I have is y'all. The guy I date loved the film and comiserated with me until right after the Oscars, then he moved on. I learned to hide the fact that I still think about this film often, but you are right, Celeste, hiding it is causing some sort of damage, makes me feel a bit like there's a side of me that's not normal, because it's unacceptable.
... The hell it is! ;)
Chanterais:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on April 17, 2006, 07:38:30 pm ---The lady who sits next to me at work showed me pics of her daughter's Star Wars theme wedding (down to the costumes and skits).
--- End quote ---
How great is that? I love it when people are cheerfully unashamed of their eccentricities. I'm a closet weirdo, skulking around in the corners of my bizarre little preoccupations, pretending like they're not really mine. I adore benign oddness in other people. I just wish I could own up to my own. I should probably make it clear, however, that I'm not planning a Star Wars - themed wedding. And if anyone does show up dressed as a Wookie, you're getting seated on the groom's side. End of discussion.
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on April 17, 2006, 06:34:21 pm ---I feel like when I do try to talk about it with people who are not-you-guys, I sound like "Me...like...Brokeback Mountain."
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And Elle once again wins the goldfish in a baggie for pithiest deconstruction. Spot on. What are you going to call your new friend?
--- Quote from: yaadpyar on April 17, 2006, 07:19:55 pm ---And I love that feeling, of having a special place in myself that belongs only to me, that no one else can touch.
--- End quote ---
*Adriana nods sagely* I'm always a little nervous around people who spill their guts right away. Not many people have access to my tender little secrets, and even then there are some things, like tiny white grubs, that never have the brick lifted off them.
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