Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Secrets and Lies...
YaadPyar:
Hey Elle - looking forward to hearing back from you. Who else in the world calls you 'Elle'?
Great to hear from others on this. I keep thinking about how isolating this journey has been in so many ways, which is odd. I've been pulled out of some dark hiding place by my BBM experience. I've been reminded by Ennis that I don't want a moment's regret in my relationships. If I'm going to swear anything, I want to do it here and now, and not to a memory.
I'm having to find my way back into my own life. See what's there worth keeping and what needs letting go. So now instead of choosing here or there, I'm building a bridge. I won't give up my dear friends who know the right answer to "Want some coffee, don't ya? Piece a cherry cake?"
Those words mean too much to me, and each line, each gesture, each expression of BBM tells my story. Remember Killing Me Softly? How the singer was telling her story...?
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, to listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes
(Chorus)
I felt all flushed with fever, embarassed by the crowd
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
(Chorus)
He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there
But he was there, this stranger, singing clear and loud
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
That's how I feel about BBM - it sings my life - tells my whole life - with its words. And I'm not going to say good-bye to a group of folks who somehow understand this as well.
So - now it's time to figure out how to integrate this change into my life, and begin to re-connect with all the wonderful people who may not love BBM, but do love me. And it's time to figure out how to sustain the relationships here so I still have someone to finish lines of dialogue with me, and get teary just seeing Mrs. Twist put her hand on Ennis's shoulder, feel conflicted about whether to watch the DVD over and over or save it for special moments.
I'm going to build a strong bridge - one that can hold all the weight of both worlds, and can withstand my traveling back and forth frequently. And I'm going to bring friends from one place across into the other, and make my world big enough for both.
chefjudy:
:) this is a very ilnteresting thread and I can relate on a couple of levels -
1) my older daughter has told me that I "should stop the madness" especially when I mentioned that I had seen the movie 4 times in the theatre and then bought the dvd and have watched it also
my son who lives in Arizona called after it was released a couple of weeks ago to ask if I had received my copy from
Amazon yet - he works at WalMart so he bought his there and got a nice discount as well ;)
the point here is that my daughter doesn't understand my compulsion to discuss, read and study this film and attendant issues - my son "gets" it and can discuss things with me related to the movie
2) my brothers have seen the movie and thought it was very good - but not the best movie that they have seen in the last 20 years like I think it is - but we can discuss some of the aspects of scenes a)nd indeed, it was I that pointed out to them that Jack's death was open for discussion depending on your particular take on that scene with the tire irons- real or imagined
but my point (and I do have one - thanks, Ellen) is that I can come here and talk, discuss, fantasize and revel in this wonderful movie to my heart's content with no repercussions (well maybe the housework and gardening that are suffering because I am attached to my keyboard, but other than that...................) so thanks a bunch to the board and my buddies here for allowing this movie nut to gorge on a beautiful film in so many ways :D
ednbarby:
What I'm finding with this movie, like anything that happens in the mainstream that is powerful enough to change people's lives, is that it's showing me who my true friends are. And the people I aspire to having as friends. I know very well from how disappointing it is when a longtime friend or close family member just doesn't get it. I've had one of each - a woman friend and my father - just not have a clue.
But I was fortunate enough to have had three people come through for me in different ways about it in the last few days. The first was my husband, who was so profoundly moved by it on his second viewing (and first DVD viewing) that he cried openly in front of me - he didn't do that the first time in the theater - just got a little misty and did that I'm-Such-A-Guy-And-There's-Something-In-My-Eye thing. He has never once cried openly, as in tears running down his face, in all the time I've known him. And though we didn't talk as much about it afterwards as I would have liked (I've kinda backed off and let him have that delayed reaction we know so much about), he did say some profoundly positive things, for him, about it like "You're right - that *is* a great movie." First of all, I can't remember when he's *ever* uttered the words, "You're right," at least not to me. ;) Second of all, the only other movie I've ever heard him describe as "great" is "Snow Falling On Cedars," which he also describes to others as the best movie he's ever seen. His other favorites are "Casablanca," "2001: A Space Odyssey," "Dr. Strangelove," and "Citizen Kane," to name a few, so he's no slouch in the Taste category.
Then, yesterday, a longtime woman friend and I went and saw a really crappy movie the title of which I'm almost embarassed to admit here ("Failure to Launch" - gag). It was not my choice, believe me. She usually likes pretty pedestrian stuff, not to sound snobby, and she's one of the ones I described as someone vying to be an ex-friend months ago because she said she had no interest in ever seeing this one. So you can imagine how floored I was when, as we were talking about how lame the movie we'd just seen was, she said, "There hasn't been a really good love story out there for a while now. But I hear that one you liked, that "Brokeback Mountain," is one of the best love stories ever made. Would you say it is?" Well, duh. I've only *been* saying that for the last two months, now. What I actually said was "Yes, I would. You should see it, if you can get past any reservations you might have because it's a gay love story." She goes, "Oh, seeing gay sex doesn't bother me. I had just thought I wouldn't be able to relate to it." Uh, you do like men, don't you? WHATever. Anyway, the fact that she's willing to see it floored me. She goes, "I take it you own it already, huh?" I said, "Hell, yeah." She says, "Can I borrow it the next time we get together? I'd really like to see it." Turns out she had just been to Chicago for a week for a family reunion with her four sisters (she's one of 10 siblings), and three out of four of them RAVED about it - the other one just hadn't seen it yet.
Finally, I had lent my other copy out for the weekend to a straight male co-worker who sees a lot of movies and has good taste. He brought it back today and said that he and his wife "really, REALLY liked it - it was a great movie." He was on his way to a meeting and didn't have time to chat about it, but we talk a lot about the movies we both like and recommend to each other, so I'm hoping to hear some of his insights soon.
I know what you all mean, though. This is one of the high points in the saga that is my never-ending obsession with and promotion of this movie. There have been some equally low ones and there are bound to be some more. But I think the fact that it remains the #1 rental at Netflix and is probably #1 for DVD sales just goes to show that the more people who actually see it, the more people who want to. And they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on, and so on. :)
Lumière:
--- Quote from: ednbarby on April 17, 2006, 01:43:01 pm ---What I'm finding with this movie, like anything that happens in the mainstream that is powerful enough to change people's lives, is that it's showing me who my true friends are. And the people I aspire to having as friends. I know very well from how disappointing it is when a longtime friend or close family member just doesn't get it.
--- End quote ---
Oh how I agree with you on this one. :)
A few years ago, I was going through a pretty rough time in my life, emotional crises, job problems, trying to resolve alot of issues with/about myself, and boy, did I ever discover who my true friends were!
Granted, some people won't relate to this movie like some of us on here do, but comments from friends/family sometimes opens your eyes to parts of them that are otherwise hidden or dormant.
yaadpyar - I agree with you on the song "Killing me softly" by the Fugees..what a mood that song puts me in!
YaadPyar:
--- Quote from: lucise on April 17, 2006, 02:14:32 pm ---
yaadpyar - I agree with you on the song "Killing me softly" by the Fugees..what a mood that song puts me in!
--- End quote ---
I love the intensity of that song, and how it reminds me so much of my BBM experience. i'm torn between the Roberta Flack original and the Fugees cover of it. Lauryn Hill's voice is amaaaaaaaazing.
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