-- The PO would never just stamp DECEASED on a piece of mail and send it back. (Not sure if she's right on this -- she wasn't working for the postal service in 1983).
I am surprised to read this. I have gotten back letters marked "recipient deceased - return to sender" before, but I honestly don't recall if that was someone at the residence handwriting it or if it was stamped that way by the post office.
I figured I'd look into this a little more and discovered some interesting things:
1) The individual postal carrier may mark "deceased" on an envelope and return it at their individual discretion, accounting for the sensitivity of the matter. Some only do this on business-related mail - never on an individual's card or letter. Others never do it at all for any reason. It is completely inappropriate for a postal employee to be in a situation of being the first notifier of someone's passing, so they do take care to avoid this from happening.
2) Unless Lureen and Jack were divorced, there would never have been a reason for the post office to return a card addressed to her husband, unless she specifically requested that mail addressed to him not be delivered (which would make her a cold-hearted bitch, perhaps). If a spouse passes away, their mail still arrives unless someone files a form with the post office to stop it.
3) I was somewhat surprised they bothered creating a fake facade for the Riverton PO, until you look closely at the crumbling current building. They did get the basic design of their fake PO correct - plain and boring. Of course, since they didn't film in Wyoming, I guess this isn't a big surprise.
4) Very few people bother sending postcards anymore (hell, if you're a kid at camp, you can just get on your Verizon or Sprint mobile and phone home), but they were commonly used 25+ years ago. In rural delivery areas, people often screwed up address information, so the carrier would read the postcard in order to figure out where it was supposed to go. Perhaps in rural areas, there still might be nosy mail carriers, but in most urban/suburban areas, no postal carrier has the time to spend sifting through other people's mail.
Postal carriers DO read post cards (of course). Ennis and Jack were circumspect on their cards, but as I mentioned on another thread yesterday, if Ennis is going to get paranoid about someone seeing them talking in the driveway, why wouldn't he worry about this?
This and the reunion kiss were two things that always stuck out for me in the film. Putting any little details on a postcard in plain site of a spouse or family member is playing with fire, and Ennis must have been terribly dense never to clue in on Alma's growing suspicion. I'd expect him to have rented a PO box or at least tell Jack to send letters.
That, or just pick up the phone! Reach out and touch someone.
As for that reunion kiss, I know enough closeted or uncomfortable people you can't even get away with holding hands in public. A kiss like that would have never happened outdoors for them.
But maybe those are just artistic-license issues.
I think so.