PIERRE!!! You're here. What a delightful way to start our DAY!! Your words sent me off down a new road that I'd never been on before.
I'm now able to visualize my own Brokeback scenario....and dip sooo much deeper into my own 'well of emotions' that I've been carrying all these years.
It's been <and still is> a long emotional trip and tiring at times. The tears I've shed here with my fellow Brokaholics poured endlessly. NOW I find myself crying tears of happiness....after reading your post. I've given myself permission to find my own 'ending' for Ennis and Jack. I wrap my warm blanket around them....I nurture them and keep them safe in my heart...I give them the strength they need when they're undecided and unsure of themselves.....HELL....I even make Hot chocolate for them....when it's cold around the campfire. (with marshmallows....I might add...
) They are MY BOYS....my loves....and they will ALWAYS nestle in a special place in my heart.
The heartache I felt SOO very strongly....is gone!
I'm still sorting out things in my life. Lost loves.....regrets....All those "shoulda's" and "Coulda's" and have come to the startling conclusion that I DID!! So I'm applying all those lessons that I'm learning here....to ALL of those!!!
I've also learned that it's much easier to keep all of those things "STUFFED". It takes no effort. We just ride along with our saddlebags laden with all that crap....and forget to take in the beautiful things in life that are SOO very precious...RIGHT in front of us...in the "here and now"
We've got to drag those demons OUT....face em...and SLAY EM!!!
I would bet that my fellow Brokaholics in here and getting a wee bit weary of my 'thank you's' to all of them. But I can't help myself...lol....so here goes again.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart....and to YOU....Pierre....my heartfelt thanks. You gave me the brushes and colors to paint my own picture. Ennis and Jack are together in my brush strokes.....they will always live....forever...in beautiful peace and harmony. Love is, indeed...a force of nature.
Much love....Nancy
(.a Brokaholic who now has a future...instead of JUSTa past!!