. . . . we would find them telling tales of a cliff of life in the heavens, or a pit of the resurrection, or a rope of immortality or a blessed stone, or the smelter of love or the holy hide of leather..."
Celsus "On the True Doctine" ca. 260 c.e.
I find this extremely funny because it's very likely exactly what would have happened. I've read this to several very religious friends and without fail, they all get very offended.
The 'holy hide of leather' - couldn't help but guffaw over that.
IMO part of the taking-offense stems from the fact that these things have become sanitized over time. People wear finely crafted crosses as jewelry, and churches do endless variations on it as art, and people don't even realize anymore what the reality of crucifixion was. It was one of the methods of execution that the Romans and others used specifically to horrify witnesses.
The Passion of the Christ has been criticized for its gruesomeness and the implied sadism of its maker; but at least it didn't shrink from the reality.
What's a more significant aspect of this, IMO, is the schizoid image of a deity as both the ultimate Creator and a curiously limited being. It posits a god who created a being with free will but apparently wasn't aware of what any human parent knows: that a being with the ability to make choices is inevitably going to make some bad choices. The Christian view of the necessity for a glorified human sacrifice is that "God's eyes are too pure to look upon sin" (making God significantly more wussy than your average cop or paramedic) and that nothing but total perfection will satisfy him, therefore no matter how hard a person tries, they need a rescuer from an outside source in order to be acceptable.
But you can't have the ability to make moral choices without being able to make the wrong ones. Moreover, the idea that human beings do have a choice to "choose Jesus or choose sin" is bogus if the penalty for the wrong 'choice' is so horrific that no sane person would really see any option. It makes the Creator of the Universe a sibling under the skin to an armed robber who claims that he gave that convenience store clerk a choice: "he could give me everything in the cash register or get shot in the head, so I have him a choice."
Believers often justify moral imperatives, whether they make any actual sense or not, as God's loving attempt to save us from the consequences; e.g., monogamy for both partners will effectively protect them from sexually-transmitted diseases. But this is supposed to be the same god who set the whole thing up in the first place; it implies that there is some more powerful deity who did that and the god that the believer is worshipping is a lesser being engaged in damage control. If your house catches on fire because lightning strikes it and then a cloudburst of rain puts the fire out, it makes little sense to say that God sent the rain: who sent the lightning to begin with?
IMO, the impossible contradictions set up can make believers very crazy.