Hi everyone! (wow it feels different to be standing center stage here in our new periwinkle home...)
I've been barely here at all the past three days or so, maybe four, and in case anyone was wondering, I wanted to explain why...don't get nervous, I ain't goin nowhere--at least not for good. I've just had a bit too much on my plate lately (with the archiving, the necklaces, the t-shirt shop, and the security at TT issue--and that's just brokie stuff! I also just HAD to tackle my paper mountain this weekend--that was what I did yesterday.). When I have too much "in the hopper" I often collapse under the weight of the pressure I feel to get it all done, so nothing ends up getting done. It's an awful cycle to be in. I simply suck at time management.
So the stress of fretting over too many serious tasks has kept me away (or mostly away) for three days, and it really has been hard to not be able to read every post. I can't believe I have 684 posts to read (at last count) just in rtprod's "swooning" thread! I seriously cannot imagine being on this board for less than 2 hours a day, and most days I have had to literally pry hands away from the keyboard at 1:30 am or so to get enough sleep for tomorrow.
On top of the Brokie To Do list, I've been feeling this urge to put into action all the lessons brokeback is trying to teach me about making my life my own. One of them things is a better job. I've allowed myself to neglect job-searchiing for the past few months so I could indulge my BBM obsession and be with all you AMAZING brokies every day. And it's been so, so awesome, words cannot describe what you all mean to me and how much I love being a part of this community.
But this past week, it's got to the point where I can't imagine staying in the job I am at for more than another month or so, and staying up half the night here on CT every night is kinda makin it hard to do something about getting that new job! It's a goddamned bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, and so if I can't stand it, I gotta do something about fixing it.
So I am just here letting you know I love you, I've missed you, I wish I knew how to quit you (not really), and that over the next few weeks I may be here less on some days. Please know that it's just because I am trying to get things done for
us,
&/or for the life I truly want and deserve. (You can also visualize it all going really easily for me so I get a great, well-paying part-time job very soon!)
Don't think for a minute that I am not missing all the laughter and the love that is here in abundance. You will definitely see me--almost everyday, but not as much some nights I think. If I'm not here, feel free to send me PMs, tell me what threads I gotta read, tell me you miss me, just don't you forget about me, don't-don't-don't-don't---don't you, forget about me......
Jenny
