Author Topic: Kerry's Komedy Klub  (Read 1381478 times)

Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #190 on: March 14, 2007, 07:29:30 pm »
" Nope, you aren't dead yet, I'm getting a heartbeat!"

 


Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #191 on: March 14, 2007, 07:31:30 pm »
These are hillarious!! thanks fer sharin

Yer Welcome Sheriff, I was laughing out loud at some of them so I thought they might make someone else's day too!

Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #192 on: March 14, 2007, 07:44:31 pm »
Bettermost's new synchronized swim team

Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #193 on: March 14, 2007, 07:47:14 pm »
just some real cute pictures

Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #194 on: March 14, 2007, 07:53:17 pm »
more cuties

Offline UntamedFriesian

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 93
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #195 on: March 14, 2007, 07:56:26 pm »
And finally, Bettermost's new swimming pool, open to everyone or everything????

Offline Arad-3

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,650
  • " Save a horse ... ride a cowboy "
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #196 on: March 14, 2007, 09:03:40 pm »
Life in the Middle Ages

Not sure this is technically comedy, but it sure is fascinating!  :D

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.”

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, “It's raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the term, “threshold.”

(Getting quite an education, aren't we?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the pot had food in it that had been there for quite a while.  Hence the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old.”

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.”  They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach into the food, causing death by lead poisoning. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the “upper crust.”

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of  places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard
shift”)
to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, “saved by the bell” or was considered a “dead ringer.”

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said history was boring!

Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend.



Wow Kerry that was really interesting! It really does make sense to where some of these phrases came from!

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One
said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in
front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it
away, or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing
of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way
down."

The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem;
knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them
"Oh that must be the door! I'll get it!
" Save a horse... ride a cowboy "

Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #197 on: March 15, 2007, 07:33:36 am »

"Thank ya kindly to Geri, Dottie and Ms UF for your fun posts. They've really made my day! I just can't stop smiling?"

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #198 on: March 15, 2007, 07:37:05 am »

I wonder which one provides the most comfortable ride?  :D

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #199 on: March 15, 2007, 07:38:30 am »

γνῶθι σεαυτόν