Kerry's Komedy Klub

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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."   Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc.  They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children:  Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a High School drop out.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. 

She was then known as, Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two other of the six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and, subsequently
married the Happens Brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced he Schitt-Happens wedding.
 
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.  Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.   So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them and say "oh yes I do!"

(Family History Recorded By Crock O.Schitt)

and now you know the rest of the story

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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBVjsziLLj8[/youtube]

Nimble little fella isn't he....   

[Kerry]

[Nimble little fella isn't he....   

  Hilarious! 

[Kerry]

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Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too)! Neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand held fan and tiny tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensie tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. With mini van in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Bruce (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the NapaValleyto open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does 12 steps instead of dance steps! Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of The Big Book and six-pack of Diet Coke.

Post Menopausal Barbie. Poor Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the television, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book, "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self".

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An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat
this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you
should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly
60 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my
instructions?"

The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were
going to drop dead dat 3rd day.

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from all de skippin'!!!!!" 

[David In Indy]

 

[Sharon]

Kerry - I love your Komedy Klub!
Well done Kerry and Dottie!     

[Kerry]

Kerry - I love your Komedy Klub!
Well done Kerry and Dottie!     

Thank ya kindly, Sharon. 

I am but the humble apprentice to Dottie's sorcerer here. Dottie makes me laugh every day. Thank you, Dottie! 

Please feel free to post all your funnies here, Sharon. Funny pictures, cartoons, jokes. They're all welcome here.