If you were Alma............

[vkm91941]

Now seriously if you opened the door and saw your husband (wife or significant other) making out with someone could you close the door and never say anything for twelve years? How would you have handled it?



Me, you ask...catching that kiss and then him staying out all night, coming home only long enough to grab his toothbrush and a clean shirt?  He'd a found the locks changed and his butt kicked to the curb when he got back from "fishin" 

[starboardlight]

you reaction is indicative of how much things have changed for women. today, while it's still scary to be a single mother, it's not such a taboo anymore. and women today do make more money than Alma would have been able to in the 60's. daycare is very common place assistance for working parents. I think Alma really just didn't see how to extract herself out of her situation. Even if she wanted kick Ennis to the curb, she didn't have the means to survive on her own. I think if I had been in her shoes, I'd have been just as lost and confused about what to do next.

[delalluvia]

Well, I imagine the hardest time would have been the remaining 5 years until she divorced Ennis, then it was a lot easier since Ennis was no longer around and she was busy with Monroe and the girls and she only had to deal with Ennis at the most once a month.

And like star said, it was harder for women like Alma back then.  Especially as her goal seemed to be geared more toward wanting to be a stay at home mom.  She couldn't accomplish that by leaving Ennis and going home to her folks.  She needed a new man with the right stuff.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Agreed, Star and Del.

When Alma does kick Ennis to the curb, in Annie Proulx's story economics seems to play a considerable role in the decision, in my reading, with Ennis's relationship with Jack only one factor. Before that, her opportunities were pretty limited--a part-time job in a grocery store, with two little ones to care for. We don't know whether she even finished high school or was a drop-out like Ennis.

I've never really given this much thought until now, but I'm guessing Monroe (or Bill, in the story) was waiting in the wings for the divorce to be finalized. When Alma married "the Riverton grocer," she was clearly "marrying up" the economic ladder. The film illustrates this pretty well in the Thanksgiving dinner sequence.

[serious crayons]

I agree with everybody so far. And I'll add that even beyond economics it can be hard to give the boot to a man you love, especially if you're as mystified as Alma may have been about what was going on.

Tell you what, though, I sure would have started ripping up those postcards.

[vkm91941]

You're ALL  right, got to keep 2006 sensibilities and the freedom that comes with a good education from coloring the way we respond.... and keep in mind the women's movement was still very new and women were paid significantly less than men. Alma like a lot of women in her generation would have had a very hard time leaving Ennis and making it on her own. My guess is she didn't even file for that divorce until she had Monroe lined up to take Ennis' place.

[Jeff Wrangler]

I agree with everybody so far. And I'll add that even beyond economics it can be hard to give the boot to a man you love, especially if you're as mystified as Alma may have been about what was going on.

Tell you what, though, I sure would have started ripping up those postcards.

Tell you what, that's one reason I admire Alma. As puzzling or as painful or as difficult as the situation may have been for her, she doesn't tear up those postcards. That takes integrity. My Resistol is off to her!

[Jeff Wrangler]

You're ALL  right, got to keep 2006 sensibilities and the freedom that comes with a good education from coloring the way we respond.... and keep in mind the women's movement was still very new and women were paid significantly less than men. Alma like a lot of women in her generation would have had a very hard time leaving Ennis and making it on her own. My guess is she didn't even file for that divorce until she had Monroe lined up to take Ennis' place.

Tell you what, Victoria, here you touch on something I've wondered about. It really goes beyond the bounds of both story and film, and there really is no evidence, but I have wondered whether some word of the burgeoning women's movement didn't get through to Alma Beers del Mar, out there in early 1970s Riverton, Wyoming, and help her to feel that she could do better in her own life than she was doing with Ennis. Maybe it did help her get up the nerve to file those divorce papers.

[serious crayons]

Well, it was obvious that Monroe had had his eye on Alma for a while. And Alma no doubt picked up on that. Monroe is more prosperous, and household finances were a major concern for Alma. She's sick of being poor, and in fact it's finances, not philandering, that lead to the divorce (at least overtly). So I'm guessing that Victoria is right, Alma had Monroe waiting in the wings, or at least realized that he wouldn't be hard to nab.

Tell you what, that's one reason I admire Alma. As puzzling or as painful or as difficult as the situation may have been for her, she doesn't tear up those postcards. That takes integrity. My Resistol is off to her!

I see your point, though somehow I don't imagine Alma thinking, "Much as I disapprove, on several levels, of my husband having an affair with another man, it would be wrong of me to try to interfere by withholding information about an upcoming tryst." She just seems wimpy. In fact, why did she hide the one postcard inside the grocery flyer? Did Ennis ever even get that one?

[delalluvia]

Well, it was obvious that Monroe had had his eye on Alma for a while. And Alma no doubt picked up on that. Monroe is more prosperous, and household finances were a major concern for Alma. She's sick of being poor, and in fact it's finances, not philandering, that lead to the divorce (at least overtly). So I'm guessing that Victoria is right, Alma had Monroe waiting in the wings, or at least realized that he wouldn't be hard to nab.

Agree.  Despite Ennis' affair with Jack, in the end, I kind of have the feeling had Ennis been more properous and was able to 'keep' Alma in the style she wanted, she might have kept her mouth shut about it forever.

Isn't that what a lot of women did/do?  Back in the days when 'women prayed and men strayed'?  As long as the man kept up the aura of respectability and kept his wife and children, a woman didn't have too much to complain about.  Especially one who wanted to stay home anyway.

I see your point, though somehow I don't imagine Alma thinking, "Much as I disapprove, on several levels, of my husband having an affair with another man, it would be wrong of me to try to interfere by withholding information about an upcoming tryst." She just seems wimpy. In fact, why did she hide the one postcard inside the grocery flyer? Did Ennis ever even get that one?

Even if Alma tore that one up, and Ennis didn't see it, as I recall, there wasn't much info on it, just a kind of 'hey, things still look good for our trip' kind of message, one Jack wouldn't have been expecting a reply to and one Ennis could have easily not needed to read anyway.  He hadn't heard from Jack, he would assume things were still on.