Merci encore optom !
You say:
The reason I think Mrs Twist and indeed myself would prefer their children not to be gay, is because no mom wants to see their kids suffer.
We play the nurturing role almost from conception,we do everything we can to keep our kids safe and happy.
..........
Optom, you do not know that I re-acted badly when years ago one of my younger brothers told me that he is gay !! I oftened wondered about that, since I am a gay man too !! The only reason, if any, is that I felt that it would be so hard for him, because it was difficult for me ??
Any thought on that ? I think too that Mrs. Twist helped Mr. Twist accept Jack's homosexuality better !!
Au revoir,
hugs!
I agree 100%
we never want to see the ones we love suffer.
It must have been even worse for you, because you had endured it yourself, so you were speaking from the heart and also with experience.
My 1st husband was gay and I watched what he endured. Even in England which is considerably more tolerant.
I certainly think that Mrs Twist would have been instrumental in helping OMT reach some form of acceptance.Mothers always in my experience act as the go between.!!!!!
How many times have I herd myself say,I will speak to your father about it.
Which leads to another point.Am I as a wife and mother, actually helping to perpetuate the myth of the much stricter father,who is less tolerant.When in many cases that is simply not the case.
Yet so many times I act as this sort of intermediary, when in actual fact their father would be no less, angry/accepting/forgiving/generous than me.
This discussion has really made me open my eyes, very wide, to some of the behaviour patterns, I have adopted.They are the same as my moms before.
By acting as this intermediary, I am by default portraying their father as the strict non tolerant etc etc person he most definitely is not.
I would put money on it that I am not the only mom who does this.
When I think of it, it is like a kind of arrogance. Leave it to me I will sort it out with your father. Why? is he a monster ,NO. Quite the reverse. I also think it becomes a way of getting as much love from your kids as you can,Almost like bribery.I will make it alright with your dad,therfore you will love me even more.
What a revelation this has been to me. A searchlight has gone on in my brain, never mind a light bulb.
I am going to have a serious think about some of my own behaviour patterns.!!!!!