The only sad thing is that the next time is always a risky thing to think of as a reality. I always thought that being around Rich was something that would just happen. I never thought that I needed to get down there right away cause he lived close by. Instead I was always headed to far away places and neglected those who lived so close. I just always thought that time was forever. I feel so bad about that. When I met Rich in San Francisco we talked so much about getting together and hanging out cause we got along so well and lived so close. I definitely want to make it clear that I mean this as friends. Neither Rich or I had no thoughts of anything else.......friends.....what both of us needed......cause both of us were kind of lost in the whole lifestyle thing. We talked about that a lot in SF and then in emails. We had a lot of similar thoughts. I felt he was one person I could talk to who would understand. We were both conservative in a lot of things we saw in the world. I feel very lost that I do not have anyone to talk about things like that anymore.
