I really don't care about the fact the movie is about two men. That really wasn't what the movie was about for me. It was about cheating. Bottom line they cheated on their wifes.. It doesn't make it right just because it was two men back in the 1960's. Cheating was frowned upon then just as much if not more. I would be saying the same thing if they were in a same sex marriage. Just because their two people of the same sex doesn't make this right.
I understand your position on this. That's why BBM was such a tragedy for everyone. Jack and Ennis got married because that is what was expected of them. But then their true feelings for one another sort of took them away. There's a part of me that says they should have never gotten married in the first place once they had an affair, but they also seemed to believe that "this is a one shot deal" and perhaps supposed they would never get back into it after that summer was over.
I also think BBM deals with reality in a more adult manner than a lot of movies that seem to have cookie cutter pat answers to every situation. You know the kind of movies where everything ends up sweetness and light and happy and then the credits roll and people drift out of the theatre. Unfortunately, BBM is not escapist movie fare by any means. For a lot of us, it rips emotions right open and leaves us with tremendous angst.
I don't think anyone of us thinks that Alma and Lureen weren't as much victims of the circumstances and Jack and Ennis were. Thankfully, at least both fathers seemed to maintain a commitment and connection to their kids and Ennis paid child support/alimony.
Was it wrong that Jack and Ennis cheated? Using a strict moral test, of course it was wrong. But then considering the state of cheating and affairs and broken marriages in general in this country, a large percentage of the population can't afford to throw moral judgments because many of us have fallen short ourselves in one way or another.
The fact they cheated should bother us. But so should the fact they could not fulfill a dream of a life together because of the oppression rural Wyoming life offered to those different from the norm. If they truly loved one another, they should have been together because of that, not held back out of fear of being killed by angry intolerant neighbors.
So perhaps the question here is not whether you can get past the fact they cheated, but rather looking at the whole picture of injustice done to every character in the movie. Annie Proulx made it clear that how we finish the story, as well as interpret it, is going to be colored by our own experiences and who we are as individuals. That you are a married mom with kids that you love very much is going to color your experiences and interpretations because you would never want a similar thing to happen to you or your kids, and that is totally understandable.
Coming at this film as a gay guy, I have some different experiences and interpretations. I've been in a committed relationship with a guy for almost 20 years myself. I can't imagine myself tolerating an endless parade of excuses from Ennis about why we couldn't be together, and I'd probably have given up on him long before 20 years had run its course. I also couldn't imagine contemplating a life with someone other than my partner at this point. But I'm not Jack or Ennis or Lureen or Alma, so I can't say I can find myself in any of their shoes and say how I would react or deal with the things they've all done.
Real life is messy. All we can do is try to treat each other with honesty and respect, and try to learn the lesson that we should live our lives as who we are, not what others expect us to be.
Welcome to BetterMost.
