OMG Penthesilea, I think you just helped me figure it out - why this film has such a spell on me. I was 5 y/o before I met my cousins, Aunt and Uncle who lived 1000 miles from us. My Aunt Betty (my mother's sister) was so much different than my mother. She was sweet, kind and happy. My mother was more interested in how she looked - her hair, makeup and nails, and cooking and baking and getting compliments from my father. I always felt like I was just her "little helper" not her daughter. But, it was even more noticeable at my Aunt's house just how much more fun we had and the things that we were allowed to do (my 2 girl cousins were nearly the same age) and after being there for 10 days, I didn't want to leave. I didn't realize the whole "thing" until after we got home though. I felt like I was living in a prison! My mother always said rude things about my Aunt and tried to get me to hate her. The same with my cousins. But, it didn't work. One time we visited them and I had to borrow a dress from my cousin to go to church. It was the happiest I have ever been. I really wanted to take the dress home. Like you, it was a safe place for me to live and my home was not. My cousins came to visit one summer and they left early because my mother was so strict with them that one of them sassed her. My mother didn't speak to her sister or mother for years after that and she said very ugly things about that part of her family. I never did learn why she hated her sister so much, but I loved her and would have stayed there if I could.
Penthesilea, I feel like this part of my life parallels yours in a way. I felt like I lived in a prison and I never sassed and never dared to say anything. I was "in a shell" until I went to college. People always thought I was shy, but I was just afraid to say anything. College was different though. But, I am back in the shell again - easier for me I guess.
BBM hit me like a ton of bricks and I cried for 6 weeks and dreamed about it, woke up and wanted to see the film - saw it twice a day for that 6 weeks time. I thought I was going nuts. Thank God for IMDb because there I discovered that I wasn't the only one that reacted that way. I moved over here a few weeks ago because of the problems on IMDb.
Not that I feel I need to, but in case you are taking a poll, I am a 64 y/o straight woman with 2 children and 1 grandchild.
Thank you Penthesilea,
Merrily
OMG. Just yesterday, when this thread showed up again, I contemplated to delete this very post you refer to. In the end, I decided against it and now am glad about my decision.
Our stories sound eerily alike.
My mother always said rude things about my Aunt and tried to get me to hate her. The same with my cousins. But, it didn't work.
The badmouthing - I hadn't mentioned it, but my mother did this as well. At every opportunity. How I hated her for that when I was a teenager. It is such a mean thing to do. Not being willing or able to create a loving and accepting home for a child - and when the child manages to find another, more loving backup family, then to try to destroy that, on top of all other things, this is truly mean in my book.
So many details are alike in our stories: I also loved to switch clothes with my cousins when I was still a kid. Every once in a while, one of my cousins was allowed to stay with me for a few days. They never liked it, but together we found ways to outsmart my (biological) parents and have halfways good times despite of them. And my mother also once had a very huge blow-up with my aunt and uncle.
College was different though. But, I am back in the shell again - easier for me I guess.
Shit, that's hard. Here our stories differ. The older I got, the more I rebelled against everything and finally broke free from my mother at age 17, and managed to get a better relationship to my father after that.
I was always outgoing and extroverted and not even my mother was able to expel that. She may have succeeded if it weren't for my other family, my refuge, my backup. I am so thankful that I had (still have) this second family.
BBM hit me like a ton of bricks
We all know the feeling. And the reasons for it may be just as many as there are Brokies.
OMG Penthesilea, I think you just helped me figure it out - why this film has such a spell on me.
I'm glad when I was able to help a bit. With a one year old post, that I almost deleted hours before you read it. Some say, there ain't no coincidences.
