~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Sashca1007]

JACK'S PANTS

%% Reckon I'd better ease these gals' minds right about now. %%

Now, don't nobody worry none if you think ya spotted this here pair a pants trudgin' through all that snow (YEAH, I can handle it, and YEAH, I coulda stayed up on the mountain, no need to come down early like a coupla sissies )  but, the truth is.... that ain't me in that snow right now.  That's them other pants that was on MaTwist's clothesline, I spoze they blew offa there in a wild Wyoming wind gust and can't find their way back to Lightnin Flat.  But, me?  Jack's favorite pants ever?  I'm warm as I can be all folded up on this little shelf right underneath Ennis's Perky Print Jammie Pants. Naw, I ain't as clean as any of them pants, Ennis chose not to ever warsh me.  Savoring that faint scent of Jack that either lingers this long or he imagines it does. You might be wondering sumthin' else, so I might as well say it.  After young Jack hooked hisself up with Lureen, he was eatin' a lot more than beans and bananas, so he startin expandin' a tad in the waistline.  Lureen told'im ta go buy all new pants, you know, the 'mature man, leisure fit' style.  Jack said, NO.  Well, ta cut this yarn shorter, Lureen just rolled her eyes and used some o that Newsome money for 'alterations' on me so Jack would never have to let me go.  But, who woulda guessed the path I took from Lureen's to Ennis's closet?  When old icy Lureen took her story to her Mama, all about her husband's 'fishing buddy', well... mamas have a way of understanding each other.  Fayette Newsome slipped me under her winter coat one visit, and sent me general delivery to 'Twist', Lightning Flat.  Good thing Ma Twist was the one what found me.  She knew exactly where I needed to be.

** Hmm..  writer's embellishment?  Or, truth!? ** 

[CellarDweller]

Well!  Look what the wind blew in!

Good to see ya back!  You'll want a cuppa coffee, doncha?  Piece of cherry cake?

[Sashca1007]

You bet!  I'll take you up on that cuppa coffee and piece o' cherry (singular) cake, my favorite Cellar Dweller! 

[CellarDweller]

[Front-Ranger]

Great to see you, Jack's Pants! See you're staying trusty, dusty and true blue!

[saucycobblers]

**Ahh, this thread was my happy place for such a long time **

JBB, the errant butt cream, is finally back on set, having taken the even slower boat back from China via every goddamn port on the planet, searching for his warshrag.

He's feeling leaky and emotional and, as we know, is apt to break into song at such times. This time he's murdering Michael Buble's 'Home':

Another washing day
Has come and gone away
In Brokeback and Rome
But I want to go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million warshrags I
Still feel all alone
I just want to go home
Oh I miss you, Terry Cloth

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine Terry, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were starched and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another laundromat
Another thread count that
Is dangerously low
And I want to go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I want to come home

And I feel just like I'm living some other butt cream’s life
It's like I just rolled outside
When every lid was snapped shut tight
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
JBB was not your cream
But you always believed in me

Another washing day has come
And gone away
And even Riverton and Rome
And I want to go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million warshrags I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, Terry Cloth
Let me go home
I've had my fun
Terry, I'm done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
It will all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

[Front-Ranger]

Well, if that doesn't entice the ol' warshrag back, then he's not worth his warp and woof! Welcome back, Saucy (JBB)!!

[southendmd]

Brava, Saucy!!!

[Meryl]

Dahlings, I miss you all, too!