Author Topic: <-- Introduce Yourself -->  (Read 501313 times)

Offline ib4mostthings

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2006, 08:36:27 pm »
Hi, I've posted a couple of messages having been registered since yesterday and just come across this board. So I guess this should've been my first message.

Well anyway, I'm an out 31 year old gay male, British, now living in Spain. I don't really go out on the gay scene much now. I live rurally in an area you could say is slightly comparable to Brokeback's, originally from London. So I guess you could call me a townie at heart. I've visited the USA many times in the past and stayed there for a couple of months about 6 years ago so I'm kind of tuned into American life whenever it passes me by.

Anyway Brokeback has gotten me good as they say for months now. I guess it started for me back 6 months or so ago, when I was just browsing one evening and all of a sudden Yahoo UK had a news item flash up titled "Gay Cowboy Movie Rides into Venice". I can't remember much now about why I got interested so quickly, but I do remember there was a sudden buzz on the Internet from early critics of the film that seemed almost astounding and unbelievable for a gay film, especially one about cowboys. BBM got my attention, held it and that was the start of my journey I suppose. Thereafter I couldn't get enough and I was constantly on search engines searching for any review possible and repeatedly looking at some countdown movie clock for film releases! I remember being so impatient back then. I just knew this film was gonna be special for me, and for many others too. I just had that feeling without much to go on.

Well saw the Dec 9 release date and then learned it wasn't going to be shown in the UK until early January (my only chance of seeing it in English before DVD release). But then there was a timely offer to go back to England post Christmas to see friends and family. You can imagine my distress and impatience when I then learnt my family had inadvertently bought me a plane ticket to return back to Spain on Jan 4, just 2 days before the film's UK release of Jan 6. To miss it by 2 days! Anyway thanks again to the wonders that are Yahoo news, 2 days before departing I saw that there was an exclusive release in central London at 1 cinema, 1 week before its general release. Well that was it. I was moving any mountain to get a ticket to that cinema and fit it into my holiday schedule. Well I got the ticket and the rest as they say is history. All the impatience and waiting were well worth it.

The film touched me big time, in short, I became a "brokeaholic". You couldn't ever say my life is comparable to either Jack or Ennis, but yet there are so many things and parallels about this story which are very affecting to me. To keep this succinct the main thing about BBM which I can post-analyse as being it's attraction to me is that I feel a film has finally been made about what it's like to live in the closet. Something that I did for a few short years before having the guts to tell people. Hellish years I guess you could say, which even today still form part of my own character and personality but now I believe in a positive way. I want to understand this film so much for my own personal reasons, but also I think it has a very powerful message for societies all over the world to stop people having to be in the closet. And for us all to find happiness..... My congratz to Phillip for having the foresight and determination in setting up this forum for those who need an outlet well after the buzz of this film has died down.

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2006, 09:36:38 am »
Hey everyone.  I think my "Legacy of BBM" post last week took a little too much out of me because it's taken me almost a week to get back and introduce myself.  I guess because I like to say what I mean and mean what I say that my posts tend to take me a long time to write.  But maybe it's more that I care SO MUCH about this film that anything that's easy to say seems somehow inappropriate.

Firstly, the not-so-vital statistics: my name is Chris, aged 38, hetero-friendly, and I've been living in Melbourne Australia for the last 15 years.  To be honest, I found my birth-city of Adelaide a bit depressing, mainly because that's where my immediate family live.  Basically, I'm "out" to anyone who cares to ask and to all of my (mostly straight) friends, but feel no need to make an issue for anyone else.  Somehow my family manages to make sure that the subject never comes up, even if I try, the poor dears (bless their cotton socks)!

Anyway, I've always believed that it is important to find your own happiness in life, to think for yourself and to be suspicious of advice.  I remember thinking when I was around 12 years old (yes that early), "how could it be wrong to be gay when I don't feel wrong"?  Although I instinctively knew there wasn't anything wrong with me, this didn't stop me from feeling different and alone, and this continued for the next 15 years until I finally became sick and tired of being unhappy and decided to give the scene a go.  And what a revelation that was, or disappointment to be precise (you know where this is going don't you).  What I found was an environment that was even less accepting than my Catholic high-school was (my parents wanted me to go to a good school even though we weren't Catholic).  I mean, sheesh, come on, if you're part of a minority group the last thing you need is to make it more "minor" by getting all bitchy and judgemental!  Surely we should be looking after each other yes?  Anyway, it was at this time that I came to the conclusion that, in general, there's something seriously wrong with just about any group that you can apply a collective noun to.  Ok, focus Chris, back to the introduction.

I guess this is the point where I tie in Brokeback Mountain.  Here I am, content with my conclusion that the world is never going to be much more than a big, fat disappointment, and then this film comes into my life and my world is turned upside down.  Not only does it absolutely knock my socks off in a way that I never expected or even thought possible, but I find that there is an ever-growing community of Brokaholics that share in this obsession.  The early days after the first viewing BBM were hard to be sure, but somehow this was the most exquisite of tortures, and I wanted more.  And then the realisation came of how much I had been damaging myself, having resigned myself to the fact that I didn't deserve to be outwardly happy, and that I thought that I was ok with just being inwardly happy.  Here I thought I was a Jack, when in fact I was really an Ennis, terrified of being disappointed and still living by other people's rules.

I (and I expect many others) have been living in a dream and it's time to wake up.  Everything is different now.  But...  Well I'd like to say that I know how to end this with a mission statement for how the 'new me' thinks and acts, but the only words that come to mind is that the angry-semi-conformist described above is no more.  And this brings me back to my Legacy post.  I really think that it's time that the world gets over its childish need to sit in judgement of itself and the people in it.  I think it's also fair to say, even for the religious types, that moral judgement was never intended to be the prerogative of any human, and any attempt to do so is a sin in itself.  But fear not, this is not me getting back on my soap box, crying out and making a scene about acceptance and tolerance.  No, this is about me being ok with me, and giving myself permission to let the Ennis in me (with affection) take less of a controlling interest in my life.
Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable - William Shakespeare

IdahoLonely

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2006, 04:26:53 pm »
Hello. My name in Chris and I live in Eastern Idaho but was born and raised in Jackson which is in West Wyoming. I found your web-site from looking for information about Brokeback Mountain. I am 27 years old and am a mechanic for a living. My only Internet is through the public free library which I spend time at because my sister needs a ride home from her job and I kick time around waiting by being on the computer. I didnt know about Brokeback Mountain until I saw it on the news. I need to say I have had these feelings before but I dont like to mind them much. I have messed around before on my girlfriend with this bud of mine when I was in school a couple times but we dont talk about it. So I was curious about Brokeback. I thought they filmed it in Wyoming and I wanted to see if I knew any of the places. You gotta understand there is no way I am seeing this in a town where people know me. No way. That means a long haul to Boise if you want to see it. I had luck in having to drive there to pick up some truck parts and stay overnite so I went to see the first evening showing in the movies. I admit I had to walk out after the second scene in the tent after the first one. I was shaking hard and was real upset by the sitaution. I got going if you know what I mean. It scared me because I knew those feelings. I almost got sick in the mensroom and had to leave. The movie manager saw me and asked if I was feeling right and I said I wasnt. He gave me a free ticket and I left. Up the road there was a diner and I stopped and got the paper and had some coffee. I had this paper in front of my face for an hour and didnt read a thing in it. I just kept looking at it like I was.

I kept on with the thought about why I was getting going by the two guys in it. Then it makes me think about what is going on with me. Me and my bud never talked about what we did we just did it and thats all. It felt good and I always used to say to him that it was fun but that is all I ever said. I still think about it. So I get the check and I reach in my pocket to get some change and the ticket the manager gave me fell on the floor. The waitress grabbed it for me and I was afraid she knew what I saw for a second, but the ticket didnt have the name of the movie on it. I have a story about that later though.

Back in my truck I decided I would go back and see the later show of the movie at 9:30. I sat way in the back but didnt need to because there were only three people in the place. This time I saw the whole movie. I was real glad the two women that were there left as soon as the credits came on because I was flatline floored. I dont know if you know how hard it is not to start crying. I was messed up. I got out of the place and back into the truck and drove around crying like a baby. It was these waves where you'd think you have it stopped and then it comes on again. I got no sleep in the motel when I got back there.

The story for me is that I think there is more to me and my bud inside of me than I thought. I said the same things to my girl that Ennis said to his wife. I was 2 timing her with him back then but she left because she said I didnt show her my feelings and it was like I didnt care. But even when I wanted to say something to her I never knew what I was supposed to. It felt better with me and my bud and we didnt have to talk about it anyway.

So now I act loner and do my own things. My bud moved to Colorado and we dont talk anymore. My folks keep bugging me to get married and my mom says I am too quiet. After seeing Ennis, I saw a lot of me and I guess so that I am too quiet. Unless I know them really good I am not a good talker. But I dont know if all of this means I am gay or am going to be alone or what? Mostly I just dont want to be alone. What I guess I am saying is that I came here to figure myself out better and I need a place to do that.

Offline BBMGrandma

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2006, 04:54:30 pm »
Oh IdahoLonely....your post tore at my heart.  If you check my profile....I'm a hetero little old grandma....and I can still understand your feelings.  This story has kicked our butts...brought out emotions and feelings that we've been hiding SO deep within ourselves.  I feel so badly that  you have been hiding from yourself and from everyone else...it seems.  Perhaps you ARE gay.....why not?  Of course you're living in just about the MOST bigoted state in the union.  It's so sad and pathethic that people just don't "get it".  Perhaps your encounter with your pal was true...and loving...and caring and THAT's why you feel a hole in your heart.  Perhaps you ARE Ennis...closed mouthed and aching inside.  Whatever those emotions are....it's soo important to address them.  I like to call it...Facing and slaying the dragon!!  Perhaps I should rename it...huh?  Perhaps facing and LOVING the dragon....the one that lurks inside us all. 
I was physically sick too....when I saw the movie for the first time.  I related to these two sweet loving 'boys'  <Ennis and Jack> as a mother who wants SO badly to nurture and love these two guys.  I want to wrap them in love and safety and security.  I want to tell them that it's ALRIGHT!!   I ACHE to hold them both in my arms....and tell them it's ALRIGHT to love another person....no matter WHO they are. 
I hope the people here on this forum can help you...Idaho.  Perhaps then you can walk PROUDLY into the theater and say "To HELL with the world....this is WHO I am" 
There is SO much love in this world...Idaho.  Hopefully this is a 'turn-around' phenomenon that we are going through right now.  Perhaps the gay society will finally get their "place in the sun" huh?  I DO know....that I have been receiving e-mails from TONS of older straight women like myself....who have been soo greatly effected by this story.
Bless you Idaho....and stick around here with us.  ((((((IDAHO))))))

Nancy  <a little old lady in California> 
"If we never dream....we'll never have a dream come true"   (me...myself...and I)

Offline Denyys

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2006, 01:48:56 am »
Howdy Phillip and fellow Bro's of the Mountain.
Let's see, at 55 (on March 7th)  I would seem to be the "Sr. Ranch Hand" of the moment. I would like to give a tip of the ol' cowboy hat to Phillip for this wonderful BetterMost site and forum. Haviing read all the introductions up to this point I'd say there is much in the way of wisdom, compassion, support and "Grandma"therly love to be shared with all souls of<<< Idaho>>> and surrounds who've journey here from their own Brokeback Mountain roots. It's been one hell of a hike!

Now for the introduction: Sorry, I tend to be a wordsmith. Grew up in small town outside of Boston, attended
Catholic school, member of the last generation of Alter Boys who celebrated Mass in Latin. I went on to play college basketball (at six-foot-seven I wasn't given a choice). Moved out to Arizona to begin broadcasting production career, editing theatrical feature films for local television. (YES, BBM should have also received an Oscar nod for editing!). At 27 I  Married a 26 year old  local college sorority girl. I had it all, terrific career, loving wife, beautiful child, new house with two new cars in the garage and an impressive zip code. But as you guessed, had a huge void that went unfullfilled and unrealized for many years, until I met "Jack." He was a fellow baskeball player from the West Coast who put the moves on me, swept me off my feet, and sent me "Cookies from Home" to my office with a huge Birthday balloon! He also foreced me out of my "comfort zone" and to confront a truth, that up to then, was deeply repressed and surpressed in order to keep family. socieity and church happy. Like BBM, being Gay in the  Cowboy, Catholic/Mormon conservative Southwest circa 1978, was not an approved, available or safe option. Times have changed. Yee Haw! & Thank God.

My "Jack" wouldn't quit me! Nine years into my marriage,  I came out to my wife while we were watching the 1982 Gay breakthrough movie of its time, "Making Love." After a year of divorce court, the wife and I were granted "joint custody," and both went through bankrupcy in the process.  The marriage had lasted 10 years, my relationship with Jack lasted 8 years and was followed by a couple of extended relationships. However, for the past 12 years I've chosen to remain single but do occassionally date. BMF Contributor "Chris" might be interested in learning that my dream is to someday retire to my vacation stomping grounds in Melbourne, Australia and lasso my next mate in the Outback. Oh perhaps I can get Heath Ledger to fix me up with someone in his hometown of Perth. Got Tent....Will Travel.

Thanks for your wonderful stories and input...I know that there are many who not only resonate with your fine words but welcome the warmth,  comfort and security of the fellowship around this campfire.

DENYYS - rhymes with Ennis

Offline BBMGrandma

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2006, 06:52:18 am »
Hi Folks....I think I'm guilty too....of not introducing myself.  I just kind of JUMPED right in and started yakking. 
I'm a 67 year old heterosexual grandma.  I'm fast approaching 'oldladyhood' I'm afraid.  But that's alright.  I've lived a very full life but since this movie I've discovered a lot of empty spots in my life that I've never filled up.  But....I digress...

I was born in Detroit....a good place NOT to visit anymore....and lived as a child in Connecticut.  I moved with my parents and sisters to California when I was about 6 or so.  I lived in San Francisco for almost all of my life.  I went through all my school years in Catholic school.  My childhood was very bizarre....to say the least.  My mother was a domineering...controlling....woman who's only connection with her daughters was so raise us to pay HOMAGE to the QUEEN...<as she called herself>  She raised us in such a submissive posture...that I've always had trouble asserting my OWN self.  I had NO idea who I was....or where I was going in this world.  Of course my stint in Catholic school added to all that self doubt.  I can remember the NUN....when she discovered that I was left-handed.  She glared at me as though I were some sort of alien in their midst.  Every Friday she would make all my classmates bring their chairs around in a circle around me...and PRAY that the devil would be "cast out of me'  That did a WHOLE lot for my self esteem!!   :-\

In the fifties....when I was done with school....it was expected that you marry....have a load of kids.....and be subjected to your husbands will.  If you weren't married by the time you were 19.....you were an oddball.  And soooooo....I picked some poor guy who never had a chance....and married him!!  BIG mistake!!  I was divorced with a young son when I was 21....completely ill prepared for this big old world.  I was always searching....wondering....questioning.  I was married two more times....more big mistakes.  My final try at finding LOVE in my life was falling SO very much in love with a married man.  It wrenched my heart out...totally.  I spent 7 years...wanting...waiting.  Of course that day never came.
Now I live in Northern California.  I have a teeny little 'spread' as they call it.  I live alone....with my two wonderful pups...and four kitty kats.  My life is comfortable and good.  My son is raised and off with his brood.  I'm surrounded by the vineyards of Sonoma county.  One of my greatest joys is to put the top down on my little Mustang...<yes...Heath has a Mustang too  :D> and drive the countryside.....with my two PUPS!!   
I've posted a few times here....and so I think you've all heard how effected I have been by 'our' movie.  Trust me guys....us little old ladies have been 'gut wrenched' by this story too.  It's as though someone has reached inside my heart...and SQUEEZED it like a lump of Jello.  I feel as though I've been 'drawn and quartered' in my heart.  It's brought out emotions that I didn't know I had!!  All those...."shoulda's....coulda's....and woulda's" have come crashing down on me....like the hail on Ennis and Jack. 
I've received letters from other gals like me....who are struggling with these same emotions too.  I'm hoping we will all learn and grow with each other....folks.  I truly believe that Brokeback Mountain has started a sociological phenomenon that will be studied for years to come! 

Bless us all....and may we ALL discover the Ennis and Jack....inside all of us!!

BBMGrandma...with love!! 
"If we never dream....we'll never have a dream come true"   (me...myself...and I)

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2006, 11:21:28 pm »
Although I tried like heck to meet new people and form relationships, for one reason or another, relationships never took off.  After years of trying, I decided it was futile, and stopped trying

I started out a lot like Jack, a dreamer, an adventurer, goal oriented.  But now, I’m basically living the life of Ennis… closed off from the rest of the world, pretty much unable to express emotions, and sadly still in the closet. 

I am behind in messages so here comes a string of them.  There will be even more tomorrow.

I think the issue here might be that you are running in Ennis' shoes and having trouble with emotional expression and your sexuality in general and that, probably more than anything else, may be what is holding back your relationship possibilities.

I went from being a total introvert in high school to an extrovert in college by forcing myself to make some changes, if only because my goal was not to spend the rest of my life being alone.  I wanted to be around people and find a relationship and that required me to make changes.  I succeeded in finding the right person when I was 19 years old.  I'm sure part of that was luck, but also it took a lot of hard work to be willing to express myself and be more open.  The closest I can come to enigmatic people these days are friends, and I have had several that could run the gamut from being intellectually/emotionally immature to those who were just, for whatever reason, unable to be very expressive about their emotions.

I try to be a very patient and tolerant person towards peoples' differences - I'm no perfect person myself.  But one thing I have always insisted on is measurable growth and change in a person.  I cannot afford, for my own emotional well being, to invest myself in someone who can't be there for me when something goes wrong or if I need help, etc.  What usually happens when I sense a person is not growing in the friendship at all is that eventually it causes me to write off the person.  My emotional temperment will make me accuse them (at least internally if not to their face) of being selfish for not at least making an effort.

This is not to say you represent any of this in your own life - I don't know you beyond a few messages here.  But I can tell you that someone looking for a relationship is going to want to find people who are open and who you don't have to pull teeth to get anything out of.  Hopefully BetterMost can offer some insight on some of these issues for you with the exchange of things back and forth and that may help you on your journey.

But I can tell you that giving up and not looking isn't the right answer if you truly want to be with someone.  I think a lot of people are very forgiving and tolerant in a relationship if they see the other person is working on growing and improving.  When I see relationships crumble, it's usually because one person denies there even is a problem and refuses to do anything about it.  Jack and Ennis' relationship over 20 years, if I was one of the characters, would not have been realistic in my own life.  I would have never put up with it.  If I was Jack and I really wanted to be with Ennis the ExcuseMaker, I would have bought property nearby after the divorce and inserted myself into his life at least so that I wouldn't be stuck with "a few times a year" at the outset, and getting through his thick skull down the road.  Barring that, I would have moved on.  There is no way I would let someone do that to me for 20 years no matter what I felt about them at the beginning.  I'd always have feelings for the person, but I would not allow my life to go by with that kind of misery.

I'm only Ennis in myself to the extent I can make up some stupid excuses for not doing things I need to do in my life.  Seeing Ennis use them made me realize just how dumb they were when I was using them.  I have a lot more trouble relating to Ennis because I can't imagine I'd ever sit around alone ... year after year like that. 

There are 250 million people plus in this country.  The chances of there being at least one who would be the perfect person in your life is very, very high.  You just have to make sure they know you are looking, so I'd encourage you to consider getting back into Jack mode, hopefully with encouragement and help from the rest of us!  I have some ideas to lay out in the days and weeks ahead on these issues, and hopefully others will too!

« Last Edit: February 27, 2006, 12:00:41 am by Phillip »
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2006, 11:37:14 pm »
Hi Mike and welcome.....it's nice to know you and your feelings.  YES.....we've all had very VERY  emotional upheavals while engrossed in this story.  I can see how you would relate to Ennis....but I truly don't think he was all that 'mal-adjusted' in his life....at least not in his ability to LOVE...and love deeply!!  He just didn't know how to handle that love when it came into his life.  He was fearful and I TRULY believe he was fearful NOT just for himself...but also for JACK.  When Ennis broke down in Jack's arms...inside the arms of the person he loved...he was a child...aching to stay.  I think what we all need to learn is how to open up....to let those fears be known....and stand up and slay those 'dragons' that we all keep hidden so deeply inside.

I also believe Ennis wasn't really "damaged goods" per se, he was just one of those people who had to deal with a lot of baggage growing up and learned to Berlin Wall off his emotions as a self-defense mechanism.  I've seen that before in people and usually after a lot of work and developing trust with them, and the passage of time in a healthy environment where someone feels safe, the wall will start to crumble.  It may not come down completely, but things will change.  Since these two guys never seemed to come right out and acknowledge anything beyond the equivalent of Brokeback Mountain Fever as the cause of their "connection" together, the road to being comfortable and open, at least with themselves, about their sexuality would be a long one.

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I, for one, have never been able to take ahold of MY needs and let anyone know about them.  I've always been the "rock" and helped others.  I've discovered that NOW it's time to start taking care of ME....and quit being such a chicken chit....about facing life. 

I have been the Dr. Phil, therapist to the stars, for most of my friends year after year.  (Usually therapy in this case consists of listening and trying to understand the person, see if they realize something about themselves as they are explaining who they are to me, and then applying common sense.)  Part of the reason I am good at it is I am in touch with a lot of my own feelings and seem to be good with documenting the issues I have completely dealt with, and thus can share them with other people.  Of course, I fall totally apart when trying to diagnose and provide therapy to myself on the unresolved issues in my life.  Then I am the blind man stumbling in the dark.  Having people who rely on me seeing me stumble around often freaks them out because they seemed to be leaning on me for strength and when they see me wavering, that means their own emotional crutch may not be able to support them.

I am humble enough to realize I am not all-knowing about anything, and I need just as much help and support as everyone else.  I've just not had a real avenue or place to go to look for it until BetterMost came around.  Now I have a place where I can put issues out there and hopefully get some great support and advice from others who know more than I or who have already been down that road.  And I hope the same will be true for everyone else on here.

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Hey PHILIP....can we ALL go to Alberta with ya?   What a TRIP that would be...huh?  We can all go to 'our' mountain!!

I am investigating the very real possibility of going this summer, finances willing.  My preference would be to drive it, if only to see more of the country.  Outside of a few trips to Ontario, Canada, Florida, Tennessee, Los Angeles, and a quick scoot across the border into Pennsylvania last year, my last "overnight" stay anywhere outside of New York was in 1986!

Who knows what can happen this summer... we have time to discuss the possibilities down the road.
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2006, 11:43:17 pm »
Gay man living in Massachusetts.   I'm 44...ugh.  Professional singer...classical.  Let's see...I guess I've lived a hell of an interesting life.  Seen a lot, and done a lot...so much in fact that I'm rather astonished that I'm still here!  Since I'm anethema to overly long posts, I'll just say that BBM literally alltered the course of my life, because it forced me to accept responsability for what I don't like about it...my life that is.  Fix it and move on, or realize that it's not fixable, and forget it.

Hi Scott and welcome.  One of the things I hope BBM will show us is that some of what we assume cannot be fixed can actually be fixed, just maybe not by ourselves.  Most of what Ennis was complaining about not being "fixable" could have been, or maybe I am being a product of my generation in assuming that even in the 1960s and 1970s, people could actually be together and lead a happy life, albeit perhaps a quiet one.  I almost have to wonder what someone 18 years old right now would think.  I can only guess they'd be more optimistic about the sexuality and tolerance issues than I could have been growing up during the Reagan years.

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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2006, 11:58:01 pm »
Hi, I've posted a couple of messages having been registered since yesterday and just come across this board. So I guess this should've been my first message.

Well anyway, I'm an out 31 year old gay male, British, now living in Spain. I don't really go out on the gay scene much now. I live rurally in an area you could say is slightly comparable to Brokeback's, originally from London. So I guess you could call me a townie at heart. I've visited the USA many times in the past and stayed there for a couple of months about 6 years ago so I'm kind of tuned into American life whenever it passes me by.

Welcome to BetterMost.  With you growing up in Britain, I would assume tolerance would be greater than here in the States.  In fact, I suspect the former colony most culturally closest to this country when it comes to conservative values would be Australia.  But my exposure to life in the UK comes from the BBC and ITV.  At least part of America is aware there are other places around the world with something useful to contribute to the global conversation.

Have you seen the British production Beautiful Thing.  To me, that seems about as close emotionally to BBM as any movie recently released in the last 10 years or so.  Not exactly a direct link between rural cowboys and urban working class, but some of the same issues seemed touched on, with the happier ending going to the British.

I would assume Spain is more culturally conservative than the UK?

As to American life, it's amazing that if something external to America becomes an issue for us and we perceive it as a threat, we are quick to unite.  But on internal issues, especially in our so-called Culture Wars, we seem to be getting more and more divided into our "red conservative" and "blue progressive" states.  We seem to always need to be dragged kicking and screaming into cultural change, usually with the most conservative places being the last to recognize the reality of change.  We'll also always seem to do it two steps forward, one back.

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The film touched me big time, in short, I became a "brokeaholic". You couldn't ever say my life is comparable to either Jack or Ennis, but yet there are so many things and parallels about this story which are very affecting to me. To keep this succinct the main thing about BBM which I can post-analyse as being it's attraction to me is that I feel a film has finally been made about what it's like to live in the closet. Something that I did for a few short years before having the guts to tell people. Hellish years I guess you could say, which even today still form part of my own character and personality but now I believe in a positive way. I want to understand this film so much for my own personal reasons, but also I think it has a very powerful message for societies all over the world to stop people having to be in the closet. And for us all to find happiness..... My congratz to Phillip for having the foresight and determination in setting up this forum for those who need an outlet well after the buzz of this film has died down.

Thanks for the nice comments.  It's really amazing how scary it is to sit in the closet and be so terrified to reveal yourself to people only to realize that, in my own experience and watching those of other friends, that when you finally do come out, 1/3rd of your friends will tell you "duh, I already knew that and was wondering when you were going to say something," most of the rest will shrug their shoulders and say whatever, and perhaps one or two will eventually drift away from you not being comfortable with it.  In a lot of cases, it's really uneventful.  It's very liberating as well.  I can recall when I was hanging out with some friends I could actually point to someone and say they were cute and not worry about it, just to note one example. 

Big change is often terrifying though, and people like me can do an amazing job resisiting it for a really long time.
You're a part of our family - BetterMost, Wyoming