Author Topic: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?  (Read 12348 times)

Offline Mandy21

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2009, 04:36:59 pm »
Well, alcoholism is indeed a scary disease -- it's cunning and diabolical and tricky and surprising, even to us in its grasps, as well as those innocent bystanders and family members.  There is no set path that each alcoholic takes; it becomes up to the individual, and they are fully aware of that power in learning how to play their version of the game, as it were.

There are loads and loads of books available for free at any public library, about alcoholism, and many of them are written by journalists.  I think I've read them all.  Just go to his local library website, and type in "alcoholism" as a subject keyword, etc., and you'll find hundreds of them.  There's also books geared towards women like yourself who are married to a husband with a drinking problem; those might be helpful to you, in determining whether or not you truly have a problem to worry about in yourself, or if you were simply an enabler, for whatever reason.  There's also many books written for adult children of alcoholics.  I always find these comforting because they give a genetic and social reason behind how we were conditioned growing up.  The first step, always, is in realizing that it is most definitely a DIS-EASE.  It's not something I would wish on my worst enemy, but it is definitely a part of my life, and may someday, lead to my death, as it did with my mother, finally, last year.  It's a day-to-day, sometimes minute-to-minute struggle for each of us, just trying to overcome it.

You're right to be scared, but again I'll reiterate -- you can NOT help someone who's not ready to be helped.  You're only beating your head against a wall, shuffling in place stuck in sand going nowhere, UNTIL he asks for your help.  Be prepared with facts, organizations, phone numbers, policies, healthcare plans, etc. for when that day comes, and help him through those steps because he won't be capable of thinking clearly at all, at first.  You, or another close friend, will have to hold him up and walk him through the steps, both metaphorically and literally.  But only if you care and love him, and love yourself, and the life you had together, enough to do so with all the strength you can muster.  As hard as it is for us to battle this disease, it's even harder still on those that love us and watch us try to destroy everything good about this life.

Let me know if you need specific book recommendations, and if you want, I'll PM you my phone number, if you'd like to talk.  Just let me know, sweetie.  Take care of yourself.

Mandy

Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2009, 07:49:54 pm »
Thank you, Mandy. You are very kind. And I'm so glad to have someone around who's both kind and knowledgeable.

What do you think of Pete Hamill's book? I like Pete Hamill, think he's a good writer, talked to him on the phone once years ago and he was extremely nice, but flipping around his book on Amazon I didn't find it as compelling as Knapp's. Maybe only because his background and experiences didn't match mine quite as closely as hers. Have you read it?


Offline bailey1205

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2009, 08:24:28 pm »
I'm glad I found this thread.

I am going to order Caroline Knapp's book.

Addictions are so hard to break.

Offline Mandy21

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2009, 09:20:14 pm »
Hey, SeriousCrayons, and welcome to our website, Bailey1205.  This is a great forum to explore and meet people and learn that everybody in life is struggling with something/s.  There's not a site on here where some one will not be able to relate to anything you might be going through.  We're all in pain out here, but when you come to BetterMost, you will find unconditional love and acceptance for everything you are or might want to be.

Okay, off highhorse for the Newbie, to answer your questions, SC:

I can find something to relate to in every alcoholic  book, but I agree with you in that some are definitely more compelling than others.  I found Pete Hamill's "A Drinking Life" to be a little hard-nosed and Hemingway-esque for my situation, so found it a little hard to enjoy, and it didn't help me much.  Here's a list of some of the recent books I've loved almost as much as "Drinking: A Love Story" by CK.  I've included library call numbers and authors, so you can get for free.  (P.S.  Bailey, you can find D:ALS in the library for free, before you make it your Bible on your coffee table, like I have:))

Whiskey's Children 362.292 Erdmann (wow -- this is like the "Fatal Attraction" story for male alcoholics, plus it's also written by a St. Louisan, which is what I am, so double points...)  True story, quite harsh, real-life, caustic, terrifying, in-your-face, but with a true happy ending, in every meaning of the term

Sober for Good 363.2928 Fletcher

Happy Hours:  Alcohol in a Woman's Life 362.292 Jersild

Under the Influence 616.861 Milam

The Thinking Person's Guide to Sobriety 616.861 Pluymen

I'm going to PM you now with my home phone.  Feel free to call if you need to talk.  Use it or not, won't be offended either way. 
Dawn is coming,
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Offline bailey1205

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2009, 09:30:47 pm »
Thanks tons for the references Mandy.

I will look for these books.



Offline BelAir

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2009, 09:25:35 am »
Hi all,

I'm glad to see the discussion revived.  I finished The Merry Recluse first and am a few chapters in to the Drinking: A Love Story... 

Bel
" a thirst for life, for love, and for truth..."

Offline Mandy21

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2010, 04:16:59 pm »
Reviving this topic after nearly a year.  Wondering what BelAir and Bailey1205 thought of Drinking: A Love Story?
Dawn is coming,
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Offline Mandy21

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2010, 08:57:47 pm »
Bailey1205, any thoughts?
Dawn is coming,
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Offline serious crayons

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #18 on: May 06, 2010, 08:58:58 pm »
I don't know about Karen, but I think about Caroline Knapp and DaLS often.


Offline Mandy21

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Re: Has anyone else read Caroline Knapp?
« Reply #19 on: May 06, 2010, 09:03:46 pm »
I don't know about Karen, but I think about Caroline Knapp and DaLS often.



Heya, how are things going for you lately?
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...