Calling all homeowners - have some questions

[delalluvia]

OK, as many of you know, I moved into my mother's house.

I've very little knowledge of how stuff works when it comes to houses, in regards to repair, city services, etc.

e.g. I've lived in apartments all of my adult life.  If I had trash or a bunch of trash, I took it to the dumpster and that was that.  If a window broke, I called the manager and it was fixed before I was home from work.

Now I have window screens with holes in them, broken individual panes of window glass and a trash can given to me by the city.

Can you just buy window screens?  Or do they have to be custom made?  

Who fixes broken panes of glass?  Is it a window repair person or a glass repair person?

I've just moved all of my stuff into my mother's home and am trashing a lot of her stuff that couldn't be sold or given away or kept as a memento.

The trashcan is long since filled and I have bags and bags and boxes and boxes of stuff piled around it.

Will the trash collectors take it like that?  

[Mandy21]

{{Del}}  Bless your heart for being so brave.  I don't have the courage to move from my little home that I love so much, 7 blocks over into my family home that's been vacant for so long.  Makes me cry every time I go over there and try to clean out stuff, even 2 years after her passing.  Thankfully, both homes are long-since paid for, so there's no time constraints on just letting it sit there as long as my brother keeps paying the maintenance and utility bills from our folks' account.

To answer your questions,

1.  At your local hardware store, they sell window screening in a roll.  If you're handy at all, you can do this job yourself.  You'll also need to buy a screen roller, which is a funny-looking thing that resembles a pizza cutter, and some spline.  You have to yank out the old, then cut the new screening to size, lay it in place on the floor, take the spline and press it into place in the seams.  Then put the screen back in place in the window.  Failing that, you CAN just buy some screening, and patch the particular holes, but in my experience, it's easier and more satisfying to do the whole job rather than just part of it.  Plus it looks so much better.

2.  Broken windows would need to be replaced by a window repair person.  I'm sure you can find them in your phonebook.  They'll come to your house and size up the job and how best to fix it.  Some charge by the hour, some charge by the job, but they ALL give free estimates, so give them a call and let them come out and take a look at it.

3.  Long as you keep paying your mom's trash bill, they'll take almost anything, regardless of volume, in terms of bags.  You will have to deal separately with extremely large items, or appliances, or any hazardous materials like paint or turpentine, etc.  But your trash company can tell you exactly who to call in your area to deal with those things.

4.  Best advice I can give you, if you've got the money to afford it, is to look in your phone book under "Handyman Services", and have them come out and price up ALL of the jobs that need to be done.  If you find a good handyman that you trust, you're set for life.

I really know how difficult this must be for you -- such a gigantic change in your own lifestyle, as well as dealing with your grief.

I'm glad you came on here to ask questions cause that means you really want to do a good job at this.  And I'm sure there's others who will chime in with their advice as well, so keep asking those homeowner questions.  It's a tough job to do by yourself, that's for sure.  But hopefully, in the end, it will be worth it for you to have both the good memories of your mom, as well as a beautiful place to lay your hat.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Del, my belated sympathies to you and best wishes on this new adventure.

I think most of your maintenance issues can be handled by a handiperson, friend or neighbors may be a good place to start, or try other sources. You may run into a dud or two, that can be expected. They may also see things that may or may not need attention, be wary and get a second opinion if you feel unsure.

I would call the trash collection service where you live and find out about pick up days and what they may or may not take, like hazardous waste, batteries, old tires, etc.

You may also want to check with the tax office and the insurance agency to make sure all the taxes are up to date and you have full coverage if you have a loss.

[delalluvia]

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

And also, thank you for the info.  How the heck do you get a hole in a window screen?  A bird flying into it?  

I'm also trying to unload about 2 gallons of used syringes and half a dozen boxes of unused syringes, lancets and about 50 bottles of partially used pills.

There's next to no info online about how to legally dispose of these - it's all per state regulations apparently.

Guess I'll have to call my local pharmacy.

As far as handymen...well, let's just say I prefer professional contractors.  That way, I'm just a customer they know little about as opposed to a handyman who will eventually find out I'm living all alone in a house with windows that don't lock and a front door that's pretty much decorative and not much in the way of security and the fact that I'm not home most all of the day.

I know how you feel Mandy,  I wouldn't want to be doing what I'm doing if I had a choice, but I don't.

Within a month of moving in with my mom, my friend who graciously let me use her garage for storage (rather than me pay for a storage unit for all my stuff) decided to move 500 miles away.  In July.  So I was already on short notice on storage.  Then about six weeks ago she let me know that her plans had accelerated and she was now moving at the end of May.  So being completely unready to tear my mom's house apart and get rid of her stuff, I was forced to have a garage sale and try to sell most of my mother's stuff, have charity orgs and junk men come and haul away the rest and now have the movers move my stuff into her home, all within 6 weeks of her passing away.

So now I'm trying to rearrange things to fit - and completely remove her presence from the house.

In a way, all the last minute scrambling has been a blessing in disguise.  On the one hand, I'm secretly seething, sure that my inability to grieve undisturbed is going to come back to bite me and on the other hand, all the work that needs to be done so that the house is in good enough shape to support my daily routine keeps me from spending hours haunted and sad among my mother's things.

I'm unused to living in a house.  I'm used to being a single woman, living alone in an apartment where my privacy is sacrosanct and my friends and family NEVER drop by announced.

But because my mother made friends and had a support system among her neighbors, they continue to drop by - unannounced - to shoot the shit, see how I'm doing and other such things.  Which is nice, but disturbing, because I need my downtime and the freedom to lay around in next to nothing, without the fear of unplanned visitors.

If they continue, it will prove interesting.  My mother was a kinda-Christian woman, a Last Supper print on the wall, quotes from the bible framed that kinda thing.  Not sure what the neighbors and family members are going to make of my nude prints, Ancient Roman/Medieval Japanese Sexuality coffee table books and pagan shrines.

[serious crayons]

A few general ideas:

1) Pick a good local hardware store close to you whose employees offer good, cheerful, patient, friendly service (many hardware stores are really good about this, but not all). Go to that one for most of your hardware needs and get to know the people there. You'll find you can walk in and say, for example, "I've got holes in the screen on my front door, how difficult would it be for me to replace the screen? What do I use to do it?" They'll give you an honest assessment, then show you exactly what you need to purchase if you decide to do it, explaining the pros and cons of various methods. I just did this at my own local hardware store for a wallpaper-removal project. Don't try this at a Home Depot -- they're too vast and confusing and understaffed for someone who doesn't really know what they're doing (I include myself in this category).

2a) Hardware stores are also really good about making recommendations. Need a window repairer? Call the hardware store and ask for names. Yes, they probably are honoring business relationships but they wouldn't keep giving out names of people who repeatedly drew complaints, because their relationship with customers is more important.

2) The vast majority of handymen are trustworthy, and MUCH cheaper than their alternatives. I hire handymen pretty frequently, even for jobs I could probably do myself, because things that would take them five minutes would take me all afternoon (including a trip to the hardware store) and my time is really limited. The way I found mine was on Angie's List. This would be a really good time for you to join Angie's List, Del. It's a website that costs about $50 a year to join. As a member, you can look up "handyman" or "window repair" or even "dentist," and it gives you a list of people near you, along with other members' ratings and comments about that provider. It's great for two reasons: you can tell a lot from the ratings, and announcing to someone you are thinking about hiring that you are on AL puts him on notice that you'll be rating his services publicly. Some providers even give discounts to AL members. Membership is kind of pricey, but you don't necessarily need to belong for more than a year or so, once you have lined up people you trust.

3) Different handymen have different strengths. In Chicago, I had one who could do only the most minor carpentry jobs, but he was a former plumber. Handyman gold! He charged $45 an hour for plumbing projects as opposed to the $200 or so a regular plumber would charge. I hired a different guy for my more complicated carpentry-related projects. I hated to leave those guys. But now I've found a couple of guys -- one who is pretty good at a lot of different basic things, and yet another one (!) who used to be a plumber. I'm guessing the latter guy had some personal problems, and he's not always really reliable about showing up when he says he's going to. But he's nice enough, and for the amount he charges me for plumbing jobs he could be a werewolf for all I care. I used to hire regular plumbers pretty frequently and now will do anything I can to avoid it.

[delalluvia]

Urgh.

Another downside to living where stray/wandering/feral cats have kittens in my car....(see my other thread for that). 

Fleas.

For the first time in their lives, my cats have fleas.  One - when she was sick last week - I had the vet treat.  Now the other one has them.  But she's not sick, so I don't have the time to take her to vet until her appointment on June 12th which by then, a whole new generation of fleas will be living in the house with us and reproducing.

I have hardwood floors and a few area rugs, fabric furniture and bedding.

How the heck do I get rid of fleas in the house?

[Mandy21]

Del, that's so funny about your new neighbors popping by.  I'm guessing they're probably older folks?  I had the same problem when I moved in here 17 years ago.  Trick is to buy thick shades for your front windows by the door, and then don't answer the doorbell a time or two, and they'll get the message.  Right now, they're probably just trying to make you feel like you're part of the neighborhood.  I love the story about the differences in your taste in art vs. your mom's.  That by itself just might be enough to scare them off for good.    However, don't discount them cause you'll need them someday to pick up your mail and papers, etc. if you go travelling.  And if you make friends with older neighbors, they're usually busybodies who stare out their windows all day, and will alert you if anything goes wrong with your house.  You might want to exchange phone numbers with one or two of them, just in case. 

Fleas in a house can usually be killed with something they call a bug bomb, which you can get at a hardware store; they're usually sold in packs of four cause you have to set them off in each room.  I used to have two cats years ago, and they got fleas off of a stray dog that I only took in for a day before its owner claimed it back.  Before I knew it, those dadgummed things were flying around everywhere in my house.  But you and the animals will have to leave the house while it's going off, and for several hours after when it's settling and doing its job.  Read the instructions carefully regarding putting foodstuffs/dishware away, etc.  There's absolutely no point in doing this, though, while one of the cats is untreated.  And of course the other cat is going to need retreating at the same time.  Fleas are amazing creatures that can jump for miles in terms of their size, so they're probably all over the treated cat already.  I'd recommend you find another vet who can take care of both of them toot sweet, before the problem gets any worse.  Then put all the bedding and rugs, etc. into the washing machine on HOT, and set off the bug bombs in every room before the cats go back in, and get all of you out of there for a couple hours.  Even after having done all this, you might have to do it a second time, so keep a watchful eye for the problem to reemerge.

Hardware stores and handymen are priceless if you find good ones.  I understand your inclination to use "professional contractors", and the reasons why you think you cannot trust handymen, but think about it -- even a contractor, no matter how professional, can take all that info about you and use it against you or tell a friend about you, etc.  Handymen cost about 1/3 of what you'd pay a big company.  It won't hurt to meet with a couple of them and decide whether or not you trust them.  I've got an awesome guy who does exactly what he says he's going to do, is incredibly conscientious, is easy to talk to while he's doing the work, etc., and I trust him completely.  I got lucky on my first time out, and he's never disappointed me.  From the very first handshake, I knew I'd made the right choice.

I'm sure this is very intimidating for you, but keep in mind that for every problem, there IS a solution out there.  It's YOUR HOME now.  Make it yours.  All the best, girl!  

[dejavu]

All good advice.  I'd just like to add that I'm completely unhandy, so when I had to repair two of my mother's window screens, I asked at the local hardware store.  A different hardware store where I used to live used to offer screen repair for a service, but this one doesn't.  However, they did have an employee who did screen repair on the side, and referred me to him -- the store took in the screens, and he worked on them elsewhere and brought them back, and then I had to pay cash to (for) him when I picked up the screens (the store wouldn't accept credit card charge since the work wasn't on their books).  He did a good job, and I never could have done it myself.


Also, about heaps of trash...it all depends on your city/municipality/etc.  Where I live, they will take almost anything at the curb, except you have to call for "big pickup" if you put out a sofa so they can send a different truck.  However, where my mom lives, they recently changed the procedure.  They will still take "big pickup" items, but for regular trash, they won't take anything that isn't in the large green trash cans on rollers with attached lids.  The city sells those trash cans; my mom had to buy a third one when they changed to this new way of doing business.  You can no longer put out loose trash bags by the curb.  But I think her city is unusually picky, so check your own city's rules and regulations for trash.

[Mandy21]

Oh, come on girls, window screens are so easy to fix.  Deb, if you can learn to play pool, you can fix a messed-up window screen.  It's quite satisfying to do something for yourself at times, rather than paying for someone else to do it.  I guess I must have grown up handy by nature cause I was always down in the basement wood shop with my dad.  I was always more fascinated to learn how to hammer and saw and screw and rivet and paint, than I ever was about that whole "women are supposed to do the cooking and cleaning" stereotype.  As it turns out, I still did manage to figure out how to cook and clean in an acceptable, but most certainly not impressive, fashion, but I can hammer and saw and screw and rivet and paint like a pro.  And I'm quite proud of that. 

Don't underestimate your abilities, ladies.

[delalluvia]

Oh, come on girls, window screens are so easy to fix.  Deb, if you can learn to play pool, you can fix a messed-up window screen.  It's quite satisfying to do something for yourself at times, rather than paying for someone else to do it.  I guess I must have grown up handy by nature cause I was always down in the basement wood shop with my dad.  I was always more fascinated to learn how to hammer and saw and screw and rivet and paint, than I ever was about that whole "women are supposed to do the cooking and cleaning" stereotype.  As it turns out, I still did manage to figure out how to cook and clean in an acceptable, but most certainly not impressive, fashion, but I can hammer and saw and screw and rivet and paint like a pro.  And I'm quite proud of that.  

Don't underestimate your abilities, ladies.

It's not that I don't think I can't do it, I'd just rather not.  I can change my own spark plugs, wires and rotar, I can change my own oil, I can change my own filters on my cars.  i can mow my own lawn.  I just don't want to.  It messes up my manicure, I have outdoor allergies and a HUGE aversion to getting bitten by bugs and working out in 100 degree weather in 90% humidity.  I feel my time is more valuable doing things I like rather than doing things I don't care to.  And of course, my efforts at repair will look amateurish compared to someone who does it for a living.  Why do something I know will come across half-assed?

And sure enough, one of my scary neighbors dropped by.  Uninvited and unannounced.  He'd seen my bike chained to the porch railing and asked,

"Hey what are you going to do with the bike?"

I can't imagine he thought it was my mother's bike.  She'd been on oxygen therapy 24/7/365 for half-dozen years.

I replied, "Keep it.  It's mine."

"Oh, do you have a spare tube?"

"No."  Do I look like a bike repair shop?  If my bike has trouble, I take it to a bike shop.  Again, my aversion to doing something half-assed when there are professionals to do it.