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Author Topic: The "ABCs of BBM": Round 965! (Rules in first post)  (Read 5490002 times)

Offline Fran

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"N" is noninvolvement
« Reply #12700 on: April 20, 2007, 02:27:18 pm »
After years of putting up with Ennis's fishing trips, his disinclination to have any fun, his yearning for low-paid, long-houred ranch work, his noninvolvement in what used to be their sex life, and his failure to look for a decent permanent job with perhaps the county or the power company, Alma divorced him and married the Riverton grocer.  Fixed!
« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 02:39:20 pm by Fran »
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Offline Meryl

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"O" is outdated
« Reply #12701 on: April 20, 2007, 02:52:36 pm »
When you can't stand the thought of carving a turkey for your wife's ex with your outdated, beat-up old carving knife, buy yourself a shiny, new-fangled, electrified, LOUD one that's sure to impress him.  Fixed!

« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 05:54:06 pm by Meryl »
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Ich bin ein Brokie...

Offline memento

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"P" is proof
« Reply #12702 on: April 20, 2007, 04:58:52 pm »
When you want proof that your husband is having an affair on his "fishing trips", tie a note on the end of the line telling him to bring home some fish; see if he comes home all perky; and then check to see if the note is still there or the line has ever touched water. Fixed
« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 05:07:15 pm by Memento »
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Offline Toast

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"R" is rehired
« Reply #12703 on: April 20, 2007, 05:57:47 pm »
If one of them deuces from '63 shows up expecting to be rehired up on Brokeback; just say "[Insert name here], you guys wasn't gettin paid to leave the dogs baby-sit the sheep while you stemmed the rose."   Fixed!
« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 06:08:05 pm by Toast »
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Offline Fran

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"S" is silly
« Reply #12704 on: April 20, 2007, 10:52:31 pm »
Ennis couldn't stand being slugged silly every day by his older brother, so he followed his father's advice and took K.E. unawares in the outhouse, on the stairs, and at night while he was sleeping until he got the message.  Fixed!
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Offline Meryl

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"T" is tussle
« Reply #12705 on: April 21, 2007, 12:53:15 am »
When you can't stand the idea of breaking off with your summer squeeze, lasso him and have a happy tussle.  Fixed!  (For a minute, anyway)

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Offline Toast

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"U" is unabashedness
« Reply #12706 on: April 21, 2007, 08:06:21 am »
When your ex-husband shows up full of unabashedness and tells about his rodeo career and impresses his daughters more than an electric knife ever could; you get him off in the kitchen and tell him about the price tag and note on his virgin fishing line.   Fixed!
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Offline memento

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"V" is violated
« Reply #12707 on: April 21, 2007, 08:44:06 am »
When Ennis is too drunk to ride and has already started talking about sinning with Jack, rather than go back to the sheep he violated the sleep-with-the-sheep rule. Fixed!
« Last Edit: April 21, 2007, 08:55:20 am by Memento »
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Offline Fran

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"W" is wily
« Reply #12708 on: April 21, 2007, 09:51:33 am »
Joe Aguirre couldn't stand the thought of some wily coyotes cutting into his profit margin, so he came up with his sleep-with-the-sheep-and-no-fire order.  Fixed!
« Last Edit: April 21, 2007, 11:13:26 am by Fran »
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Offline southendmd

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"X" is xpectoration
« Reply #12709 on: April 21, 2007, 11:12:44 am »
Whilst in an uncomfortable argument and at a loss for words, simply engage in frequent xpectoration.  Fixed!
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