The "ABCs of BBM": Round 965! (Rules in first post)

[Meryl]

When you can't stand listening to the slopbucket mouths of a couple of bikers, knock some sense into them and stand there looking manly and fierce while folks gawk at you instead of the fireworks.  Fixed!



=aside=Toast
Thanks for checking in, Friend.  Enjoy your
new digs!

[southendmd]

When you're wounded after being thrown off your horse and had to chase dumbass mules all over the mountain, and can't stand kindness from a cute cowboy, grab his ministering hanky and do the job yourself.  Fixed!

[memento]

When your father-in-law shows his dumbass ignorance by equating manhood with football, tell him to sit down or his ignorant ass will be time travelling. Fixed! 

[Fran]

If you can't stand the fact that beans is about all you've got left due to the jackassery of your "dumb-ass" mules, you can shoot yourself a nice elk.  Fixed!

[Meryl]

If you can't stand to look your leggy blonde girlfriend in the eye after coming home from a fishin' trip with your leggy blue-eyed boyfriend, don't answer the notes she left at your place and forget Steve ever mentioned her.  Fixed!

=aside=Fran
  at jackassery

[southendmd]

When encountering a handsome new cowboy, if you can't stand his coy silence, manage to get his attention by draping yourself oh-so-vampishly over your dusty ol' truck.  Fixed!

[memento]

When you have just finished kissing your lover passionately and are still shaking, and he then introduces you to his wife, stand in the vestibule and say something nonsensical like you have an eight-month old son who smiles a lot. Fixed!

[Fran]

If, after sitting idle for several weeks, your old pickup truck is operationally challenged, grind the ignition and wait for the "give it some gas" cue while your partner fiddles with the carburetor.  Fixed!

[southendmd]

If you can't stand not peeking at the handsome naked cowboy with the warshcloth, just keep peeling potatoes and nonchalantly sneak a peek.  Fixed!

[memento]

When you get a refusal after offering to buy a rodeo clown a drink, say to the bartender, "Do I look like I could afford a fuckin' ropin' horse?"; slam some money down on the bar; and hurry toward the exit. Fixed!