Author Topic: Zero at the Bone by MadLori  (Read 220557 times)

Offline MadLori

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 139
  • Remember - Jack Nasty loves you.
Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« on: October 16, 2006, 09:01:29 pm »
I'm venturing into the uncharted territory (for me, anyway) of AU!AU.

It's very different from HI and TCJ.  I hope you enjoy it.

http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/62284.html
Jack:  I could kick your ass any day of the week.
Ennis:  Then the weeks where you live must have a No Fuckin' Way Day.

Offline Bigheart

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,609
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2006, 07:32:25 am »
I LOVED it, Lori. I'm totally hooked. Absolutely wonderful first chapter; exciting and very convincing.

I'd love to find out how "D" got into this line of business and how he hooked up with Josey.

This was soo Ennis to me:

So he went, had two beers, stayed quiet, watched the people, and left again. If he stayed any longer, the eyes on him became too much. Always the eyes, looking at him sidelong, like they knew. What could they know about some stranger having a beer at the bar? They didn’t know shit. But the eyes were always him, and whether they knew anything or not, the idea that they might always drove him out.

I adored the Jack fuckin Twist line   :)

I can hardly wait for their first meeting. Will you be updating again soon?

Thanks Lori. I really loved it.

 :)

Offline Bigheart

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,609
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2006, 07:50:33 am »
Forgot to say that I also LOVE the title! How did you come up with it?

 :)

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2006, 07:59:46 am »
it is from the poem "Snake" by Emily Dickinson.  It was also quoted in the title of a mystery story by Mary Willis Walker.

A narrow fellow in the grass
Occasionally rides;
You may have met him, -did you not?
His notice sudden is.

The grass divides as with a comb,
A spotted shaft is seen;
And then it closes at your feet
And opens further on.

He likes a boggy acre,
A floor too cool for corn.
Yet when a child, and barefoot,
I more than once, at morn,

Have passed, I thought, a whip-lash
Unbraiding in the sun, -
When, stooping to secure it,
It wrinkled, and was gone.

Several of nature's people
I know, and they know me;
I feel for them a transport
Of cordiality;

But never met this fellow
Attended or alone
Without a tighter breathing
And zero at the bone.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Bigheart

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,609
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2006, 08:07:51 am »
Thank you Louise! How wonderful that you knew this!

 :)

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2006, 08:11:36 am »
only because I read someone else discussing it.  I'm not big on Emily Dickinson and didn't know this poem.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline MadLori

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 139
  • Remember - Jack Nasty loves you.
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2006, 11:45:21 am »
Jack:  I could kick your ass any day of the week.
Ennis:  Then the weeks where you live must have a No Fuckin' Way Day.

one_of_one

  • Guest
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2006, 01:37:07 pm »
Hey is that you Lori? *points to avvie*


Oh, chapter two was a delight!  i loved Jack's thoughts, and the way he ran off at the mouth.  And just at the beginning when he arrived home to find Ennis sitting waiting for him....oh and so much more!!!

I am so intrigued as to how this is going to pan out.  Lordy!  Ennis has no idea what he's let himself in for, and I'm sure he's going to have moments of wishing he HAD taken Jack out!  LOL

Offline Bigheart

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,609
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2006, 06:12:08 pm »
I agree Helen. This chapter was wonderful! Exciting and so much fun to read too. I loved that image of "D" sitting there in his jeans, white t-shirt and sunglasses. Sexy  ;D
Yeah, I guess Jack's blabbering really saved him, I loved Ennis's thoughts on that - that Jack wasn't some kind of pussy, that it had to take guts to stand up to the brothers (is that what he called them? I forget) That was great.

I wonder if they'll be taking some kind of long road trip now? That would be cool, stuck together in the car like that, Jack driving "D" stark raving mad! Heeeee!  ;D

I totally loved the "D" part. That was brilliant  :)

Can't wait for the next chaper!

one_of_one

  • Guest
Re: Zero at the Bone by MadLori
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2006, 06:13:22 pm »
Maybe their car will break down and they'll have to steal a motorbike........  *YUM*