LOL, David!
I guess in People magazine's view, middle-aged and smarmy is sexy. And young, drop-dead gorgeous, soulful and sensuous is not. At least not this year, anyway. Good to know.
No, they don't define sexy for me - in fact I can't remember the last time I agreed with one of their "winners" (since Ralph Fiennes, Joseph Fiennes, nor any other British actor except Sean Connery or maybe Richard Burton has ever been selected). I'd just like to see them get it right for once.