Peak Brokie experiences

[Front-Ranger]

I guess I would have to say that the highest peak of Brokie happiness I have experienced was talking with Annie Proulx. But the second highest peak is close by it. It was a dream I dreamed where my BetterMost friends were all in my living room. The room was dark, only illuminated by candles and the moon and starlight coming in through the French doors. I walked into the room, and I saw latjoreme and LauraGigs in one corner talking together, two Titian-haired beauties, and I smiled because I knew exactly what they were talking about, the mysterious and nearly indiscernable "I Love You." And outside the window I saw two coyotes in the desert, which I knew were Impish and me, running through the desert to the strains of Rufus Wainwright. I turned and saw EDelMar opening his geocache and showing it to Adrian, who cradled his horse in his arm like a football. And Marge was in the kitchen making tea, while Pete and Mel stood by the fireplace, Pete in his boots and Mel wearing her rain slicker. And in between us all moved other people, transparent and white in the moonlight, murmuring and gesturing. (If I had this dream again, I know Eric would be there in full color!) And Ennis, Jack, and Alma were there too, although it was Michelle, not Alma, smiling a broad lipsticked smile and with flowing blond hair. I went from one to the other, hugging each one and taking your coats, and telling you how beautiful you are.

[Lynne]

It's noticable that for many of us, highlights of our BBM experiences are reaching out and finding connections to other people. Be it online or in person or both. This is a great outcome of Ennis's and Jack's story.

Barbara - you said it, right there.  From my own perspective, there have been both peaks and valleys.  The swings in my mood seem almost bipolar between euphoria and utter despair.

Both peaks and pits are most certainly, inexorably, connected to relationships.  There are too many individual peak moments to count - I still get a little thrill when I see I have a new PM or see someone's posted I've been on the lookout for or I hear Phillip's voice on BBM Radio.

Three big peak moments stand out for me:

Seeing BBM at the Fox in Atlanta.  Prior to Atlanta, I had only seen BBM alone or with nonbelievers in a futile attempt to get someone in my real life to *see* me.  It was entirely different, viewing with people who were all experiencing variations of what I was going through.

The first night in Boston.  Walking into that room, seeing Eric - the only person I'd met before, instantly recognizing Leslie and RouxB and Jeff and ... knowing soul-deep that I was exactly where I belonged.

Leaving the Gustavo interview in Chelsea.  Standing on the street with Adrian, Meryl, Jenny, and John, feeling completely transformed, then looking up to see the full moon blessing us.  Again, visceral knowledge that I'm on the right path for me.

I must say, though, that these joyous moments have not come without a serious price.  The reason BetterMost is the forum for me is because of Phillip's vision - putting into practice Annie's point of 'finishing the story' in my own life.  Tell you what, it's not easy nor painless nor finished.  I'm going to go put some of that negative stuff in my blog - it doesn't belong in this thread.

Maybe like we can't have Jack without Ennis, we shouldn't expect to have the peaks without the valleys?

-Lynne

[serious crayons]

I guess I would have to say that the highest peak of Brokie happiness I have experienced was talking with Annie Proulx. But the second highest peak is close by it. It was a dream I dreamed where my BetterMost friends were all in my living room. The room was dark, only illuminated by candles and the moon and starlight coming in through the French doors. I walked into the room, and I saw latjoreme and LauraGigs in one corner talking together, two Titian-haired beauties, and I smiled because I knew exactly what they were talking about, the mysterious and nearly indiscernable "I Love You." And outside the window I saw two coyotes in the desert, which I knew were Impish and me, running through the desert to the strains of Rufus Wainwright. I turned and saw EDelMar opening his geocache and showing it to Adrian, who cradled his horse in his arm like a football. And Marge was in the kitchen making tea, while Pete and Mel stood by the fireplace, Pete in his boots and Mel wearing her rain slicker. And in between us all moved other people, transparent and white in the moonlight, murmuring and gesturing. (If I had this dream again, I know Eric would be there in full color!) And Ennis, Jack, and Alma were there too, although it was Michelle, not Alma, smiling a broad lipsticked smile and with flowing blond hair. I went from one to the other, hugging each one and taking your coats, and telling you how beautiful you are.

Beautiful post, FRiend! 

[Ellemeno]

If wishes were fishes, I'd eat fewer knishes.

If wishes were fishes, Alma might never have said, "Jack Nasty."

"You didn't go up there to wish..."

If wishes were fishes, I'd be one of the ones swimming through Lee's next group dream. 

[Noviani]

Nice thread!

mine is when i watched the movie for the first time, i was completely shocked when Ennis' last postcard was returned with stamped DECEASED!!

Hello!!!

i am not ready for a tragedy!

i had to open the dictionary to make sure what deceased means!(English is a foreign for me).
i guess the death is what dragged me to this stage. I don't like deaths because it is an ultimate closure. you can't have a second chance (unless you have an access to the next world. but most people don't have that).

i was and still I am upset for Ennis didn't have the gut to drop it all and be with Jack. how could he?

 still mad because their last camp finished with a nasty fight.

Like how we will remember Titanic, for loosing jack dawson, we will always remeber loosing Jack twist.

but at least Rose Dawson continued her life in a fulfiling way because Jack dawson had the chance to ask her to continue her life.

Jack never had that chance. and Ennis never had the chance to hear his last words...

this is an awful kinda story...

now i am upset again.

[Mikaela]

I posted these the other day but felt they weren't the kind of sublime and special small moments the thread was after. Then again, they sure were peak experiences to me, so I'll let them stay in here even so.


One "peak" certainly was finally getting to see the film for the first time. It was such a very long-expected, long-anticipated event when it finally happened......  I'd become aware of the short story and upcoming film in October 2005, read much about the film on the net in November, read the short story in early December, read much more online including discussions about story and film during December and the first half of January, saw clips, saw pictures; - and I built up such an immensely strong anticipation that I could hardly even think about other stuff! The film was to premiere here late January, and I was all set to go on premiere day of course - and then I ended up in hospital instead. And was totally bummed - about my illness certainly but I think mostly about not getting to see the film.  Then once I got out of hospital and back home I went the very next day with a friend to see the film. And despite all the knowledge, all the stuff I'd read, all the images, all the opinions, all the interviews, all the clips, all the excitement and anticipation.......despite the obvious risk that the final thing would eventually prove a serious let-down and a huge anti-climax after all that; - the film still managed to bowl me over so completely that I went around in a complete and utter daze for days afterwards.


The other Brokie experience I immediately thought of  is seeing the reunion kiss for the first time. God, did that make an impression. I couldn't believe the urgency and passion that poured out of that scene...... Someone posted a very small blurry version on the net, taken from the Logo Special, and I was mesmerized. Enthralled. Then a fellow Brokie sent me a bigger and better version clip via E-mail. I've still got the mail, it's dated December 9, 2005. It's got Ennis kissing Jack over and over and over and...... Well, I doubt there are many, if any, film scenes I've watched more times than that one. And it deserves to be watched - it hasn't paled much with time!

[Penthesilea]

It's noticable that for many of us, highlights of our BBM experiences are reaching out and finding connections to other people. Be it online or in person or both. This is a great outcome of Ennis's and Jack's story.

Barbara - you said it, right there. 

Thanks for agreeing here with me. But I'm not Barbara, I'm Chrissi 

[Mikaela]

An other small experience that still sticks in my mind is in connection with visiting a fellow Brokie in the UK. We went to see the film in her home town towards the end of the theatrical run there, as a prelude to our staying up all night, champagne at the ready, in order to watch the Oscars. Not knowing what was to come, we had a wonderful time at the cinema, and one nice little moment was when the guy selling us the tickets looked up at us and said, quite sincerely: I hope you've brought handkerchiefs. You're going to need them.  


Of course, what followed later that night doesn't belong in peak Brokie experiences but rather in "down in the dumps" Brokie experiences.  Then again, it was good to have someone right there to vent with and share the incredulous anger.

[tamarack]

One of my peak Brokeback experiences is on the lighter side (I was really ready to move on from the tears...)

I was invited to Nevada to visit someone I had met online because of Brokeback and we decided on a road trip. It was dark when we reached our motel the first night, and I was tired and not noticing much of my surroundings since I had just flown 2/3 of the way across the country on no sleep since the previous night. We said good night and went to our respective rooms.

I was awakened the next morning at 6:50 by a train whistle that was so close it  sounded as though the train was headed for my room. I moved the curtains to look out the window and on the other side of the tracks a semi was crossing in front of the mountains that were a couple of miles away.

Later when I went out to the lobby to meet my friend, I looked out the window and noticed a young boy with a backpack on, headed off to school on a unicycle (what's up with that?) and when we got into the car and took a left turn out of the motel parking lot, there was a Dairy Queen with an old black pickup parked beside it (no, not a GMC, but close enough).

Then we drove down the street and had breakfast at the Java Cafe (the actual lJava Shop in Fort Macleod is where Cassie told Ennis that "girls don't fall in love with fun"). Wait, it gets better...

It was pouring (I mean really pouring) when we got to the Mexican Hat Lodge where we were staying that night, so my friend braved the elements alone to go get the keys to the rooms. Looking through the rain to the inside of the motel I thought I saw a man in a blue shirt and black hat. When my friend got back to the car I asked him if there was a man in there dressed like that and he said, "No, there were two of them!"

Talk about a Brokeback day from start to finish...

 

[Lynne]

Thanks for agreeing here with me. But I'm not Barbara, I'm Chrissi 

Mea culpa, Chrissi!!!