Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 1234805 times)

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1020 on: April 10, 2007, 10:08:17 am »
Hey folks, this is the moderator stepping in...

There are no bad guys, no one is making mistakes, no one needs to apologize. Everyone is welcome to, and encouraged to comment on the drabbles and write a few yourself, if you are so inclined. This is a very creative thread with lots of creative energy. It amazes me to see the contributions that everyone has made since we started back on January 31st.

Let's all move forward, being respectful and caring. That's my BBM lesson.

All right, mod hat off, back to writing!

Leslie
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

Offline Lumière

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Re: Apology:
« Reply #1021 on: April 10, 2007, 12:56:19 pm »
TH you dont, have to apologise on my account. I dont, want to be the bad guy here,(although I obviously am) ::) I just didn,t think it was necessary.  I,ll think I,ll just read and not comment in future.  ::) ;)

But, my dear Souxi, is any one drabble really more "necessary" than the other?  We are all having abit of fun and churning the creative juices, is all..
I agree with what Leslie said, everyone is welcome to read and comment and have fun in the process!  :)
All criticism is great if it is constructive and helpful to the author, right?
Okay..moving on now ..  8)


Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1022 on: April 10, 2007, 04:29:14 pm »

Monthly Visit


Somewhere in the Bighorn Mountains
Saturday, August 18, 1979
8:13 p.m. 



“Then what did y’all do?”

“Took ‘em to lunch…”

“Where?”  Jack interrupted again, wanting to know every detail of Ennis’ once-a-month visit with his girls.  The man’s face softened and positively glowed, whenever he was talking about them. 

“Where?”

“Yeah, where’d ya take ‘em?”

“We went to McDonald’s, Bud. You wanna know what we ate?”

“Sure.”

Ennis shook his head, but he was smiling.

“The usual…burgers and fries.  Jr. always gets a chocolate shake.  Jenny always gets strawberry.”

“Jr.’s an awful lot like her daddy.”

“You say that every time, Bud.”

“I know.  Please continue.”  Jack laughed. 

“So after lunch, took ‘em to a rummage sale at the church.”

“Whut?  A rummage sale?”

“Yup. They really wanted to go.  They find books they wanna read for school.  Find stuff for their dolls…barbies or somethin’ or other.  And this time, they bought some records, some of 'em kinda old, goin’ back ten or twelve years, or more. Some of ‘em was so beat up, the covers was barely bein’ held together with scotch tape.” Ennis handed the whiskey bottle over to Jack before continuing. 

“There was some Dillon, some Baez, and somethin’ by the Rolling Stones…somethin’ that Jr. was so excited to find.  High Tide and Green Grass,"   think it was called.” 

“ ‘The Stones’, huh?  You let the girls listen to that stuff at your place?”

Ennis chuckled.  “Well, aint no listenin' to it at my place.  Aint got no record player.  I expect if it aint no good, I’ll get an earful from Alma the next time I pick up the girls.”  Ennis chuckled, his entire face a vision of relaxation.

Jack smiled, handing the whiskey bottle back over to his friend.   

“Then what’d you do?”

__________________________________________________________________   

(300 Words)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2007, 04:52:26 pm by haunted_by_bbm »
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1023 on: April 10, 2007, 05:00:01 pm »
(Here it is, forgive me for being so way over....)

Possibilities

(July 2003)
The artist stood up again and went over to the window.  He glanced outside, turned back around and continued.  “I came here to look for you, you weren’t hard to find” he chuckled.  “I had your address.  I came by your house, then I lost my nerve.  I went back and forth from New York a few times, I saw you, but I didn’t want to scare you.  I wanted to knock on your door, but I felt like I was swimming in high tide.  I was overwhelmed.  I don’t know why.  I never had any trouble talking to anyone, but I was scared to talk to you.”

“But the strange thing was that I found that I really liked it here.  So different from New York.  I decided I had to move here.  I could live in peace, people would leave me alone.  I could make my things, and not worry so much about money.”   He walked back over to the table.   “Also, I would be close to you” he said, placing a hand on Ennis’s back.  Ennis stood up.  “So I bought this little house, it was completely falling apart.  Fixed it all up myself, mostly with scotch tape and wire.  Then I somehow packed up all my things, except for all my records, hundreds of them, left those with friends.  So I moved here for good a year ago.”

“I still didn’t know how to approach you.  But then I finally got the idea.  I decided to make you come here.  So I built the mountain and the figures, and I knew that you would find your way here.”  The artist moved closer to Ennis.  He put his arms around him.  “And I was right.”

He pulled Ennis closer.  He began to kiss his neck, slowly and gently with a soft breath. Ennis tried to pull away.  ”But, I am so old, and broken” he said sadly.

The artist looked right into his eyes.  “You are beautiful to me, just like you are now” he murmured.  He began to kiss Ennis’s lips.  Ennis closed his eyes but then reopened them.  He could see the veins pulsating under the pale translucent skin.  He began to move back, but then he looked into the haunting eyes.  No more missed chances.  He kissed the artist as deeply as he could.

The artist’s hands moved across his back and then down his sides.  They began moving near his waist, sending hot sparks straight into Ennis’s soul.  But Ennis pulled himself away again from the artist.  “I have to go, I‘ll be back soon” he said.  “There is somethin’ I got to do.”

Ennis went out to his truck and drove home.  He was ready.  Ennis went inside.  He paused for a moment and took a deep breath.  He then went over to the chest and took out the package.  He was finally ready to know.  He took the postcards out of the envelope and turned the pile around so that the last one was on top.  He took the rubber band off.  He stared at the two addresses he wrote so long ago.  For so long he needed to know.  He slid the postcard off the pile, and took another breath…..

But then Ennis put the postcard back on the pile, put the rubber band back on, and put the package away.

He already knew everything he needed to know.  Ennis went out to the truck and drove back as quickly as he could.   He drove back to the Artist and back to all the wondrous new possibilities.


« Last Edit: April 10, 2007, 05:15:53 pm by Cameron »



Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1024 on: April 10, 2007, 05:13:55 pm »
C ~   Jack getting Ennis to talk about his girls .. "his face softened and positively glowed" ... That was very sweet.  :)


Marl ~  This is getting really interesting!   :D A little something new revealed with each drabble ..  Looking forward to the next!  Don't forget the LJ update.. ;)


Cheers!
~M


Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1025 on: April 10, 2007, 05:21:25 pm »
C ~   Jack getting Ennis to talk about his girls .. "his face softened and positively glowed" ... That was very sweet.  :)


Marl ~  This is getting really interesting!   :D A little something new revealed with each drabble ..  Looking forward to the next!  Don't forget the LJ update.. ;)


Cheers!
~M

Thanks,  ~M
C*   ;) 
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1026 on: April 10, 2007, 05:55:28 pm »

Somewhere in the Bighorn Mountains
Saturday, August 18, 1979
8:13 p.m. 

.  .  .
“Where?”  Jack interrupted again, wanting to know every detail of Ennis’ once-a-month visit with his girls.  The man’s face softened and positively glowed, whenever he was talking about them.  .  .  . 

I love this, C - Jack shares my mania for little bits of minutia (at least where Ennis is concerned   :laugh: ) !  And, yep, Ennis sure does love his little darlin's.


.  . .  No more missed chances. .  .  . 

Your muse is in high gear, Marl!  Each "episode" is a wonderful surprise. 

Thanks,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1027 on: April 10, 2007, 06:05:23 pm »
Marie, 
Yes, good thing our guys are so detail-oriented.   ;)   
Proves to be very satisfying writing.    ;) 
C*
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1028 on: April 10, 2007, 08:05:52 pm »
Thank You so much M and Marie,

You know how much I appreciate it. :)

And again sorry they have been so long for here,
 :)
Marl
« Last Edit: April 10, 2007, 08:52:20 pm by Cameron »



Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1029 on: April 10, 2007, 09:24:41 pm »
I have a late dabble .. 
(I went over by a teeny bit.. 8))
Today has been filled with work, work, work..ahh!

Okay..



Along the riverbed ..

“I’m tellin’ ya!”   Jack cried.  “Fine, I’ll show ya on the map..”

Ennis smiled to himself as Jack marched to the tent and disappeared into it a moment later.  They’d spent the better part of the warm afternoon picnicking along the riverbed.  After a hearty meal of turkey sandwiches and the entire blueberry pie Jack’s Ma had wrapped up for him, they’d fallen asleep on the old blanket.  Then Jack had awoken Ennis with roving hands and new ideas of what he could do with them.  After a leisurely splash in the river and half a bottle of whiskey, they’d wound up back on the old blanket, chatting aimlessly and savouring every lazy minute of it.

Ennis was busy buttoning-up his shirt when Jack emerged from the tent.  “Okay, I’ll show it to ya..” Jack smiled, waving about the map in his hands.  He opened it up and lay it down before Ennis – it was old and in very delicate condition, bits of yellowing scotch tape clinging to the ripped fold lines.

“Just how long have ya had this thing?” Ennis joked.

“Never mind that.. Look here.. Down in Ellis County, Texas.  See that little dot there?  That’s Ennis!”   

Ennis squinted and leaned closer to the map.  He looked up at Jack with a wide grin.  “So ya been there, huh?”

“Yeah, two weeks ago,” Ennis pulled the map to the side and Jack lay down beside him once more.  “Got some new clients over in Ferris, but I decided to drive to Ennis and spent the night there..” Jack shifted a little, feeling shy all of a sudden.  “Ya know .. that night, I kept whispering to myself – ‘I can’t believe I am in Ennis, and it feels so fuckin’ good..’”  Ennis laughed out loud and smacked Jack playfully on the rump. 

“That what ya wanna do?”  Ennis asked, one slow sweet kiss later.

“Do whut?”

“Ya know what I mean..” Ennis whispered, rolling on his back and pulling Jack on top of him.  They quickly became the only two in their world; oblivious to the rising tide of the restless river and the growing chill in the mountain air..



                                   



« Last Edit: April 11, 2007, 12:27:51 am by Lucise »