What a great thread! So much to say.
OT- I just noticed a google ad to the right for "The Ultimate Toilet Seat." The website is CleanButt.com. Just struck me funny. Anyway...
I don't think the idea that many of us have been keeping to ourselves in our enthusiasm (to put it lightly) for this movie is valid when we've spent so many hours on these boards. I think when you have an event in your life that shakes you to your core and you don't try to resist the experience, you gravitate to the people who should be there with you. Hence, here we are. I don't talk about BBM much to anyone else besides you guys because I know you all get it. My parents, who are both very intelligent and feeling people, liked Brokeback. It made my Mom sad that people weren't free to live how they wanted. And that was it. No gushing over wordless images, no comments on nuances of acting, no geeking out over the score. They thought Good Night and Good Luck should have won the Oscar. My #2, so I didn't mind.
It's absolutely fitting that all of us have found our way here to like-minded people. Who here hasn't written some kind of lengthy post about their feelings on one thing or another? Why would you do that with someone who has already told you they don't understand?
My birth dad died in Viet Nam when I was 4 months old. I started life with abandonment issues. The act I put up as a kid to hide the fact that I was sad was "the happy kid." I didn't figure this out until well into my 20's. Most of my life was spent keeping people at arms' length. To this day I still have to choose, moment to moment, not to live with those old barriers that no longer serve me, and it's tough sometimes. I don't have much of a social life because I never got the hang of "hanging out," having been a loner for so long. It doesn't occur to me to make plans in advance so I can see friends with busy schedules. Basically I'm lacking in social skills, although I've gotten much better in the past 5 years or so.
In my day to day life it's easy to fall into old patterns, spending a lot of time indoors alone, not making decisions about anything, knowing that I do have goals and not doing anything about them, feeling shy and insular. But on vacation, the real Kirk comes out. The guy that doesn't have 37 years of habits and analytical bllsht to contend with. The guy that can easily start up a conversation with a friendly female London bartender. The guy who can go to a gay dance club in St. Petersburg, Russia by himself and keep asking interesting people "Do you speak English" in Russian until he finds somebody who does. The guy who'll hug a complete stranger in Flaggstaff, AZ who liked his karaoke performance of "Sara Smile." That's who I really am, and I'm behaving as that person with more and more regularity.
BBM hit me so hard because Ennis was so emotionally suppressed. Damn! do I relate to that. And what do you know, so do a lot of people here. I think secrets can be insidious if you don't tell anyone, but being selective about who you tell can be good judgement as long as it's not hindering who you are.
There was a quote I read some time ago, I forget who it was credited to, that went, "Never suppress a generous impulse." I've adapted that to "Never suppress an affectionate impulse." It's a very easy reminder to keep love at the forefront of my activities and my dealings with people.
As far as obsessions go, ours is of exceptionally high quality. I'm just guessing, but I'd be willing to bet that Trekkies and Star Wars fanatics don't get into these kinds of discussions. Brokies are pretty great folks. Both the dinner and movie I attended with 5 others of the brotherhood here in the Bay Area, and the phone conversation I had this morning with the NYC brunch crew were fantastic times. And these are people I never would have met otherwise. I don't come back to this board because I'm so into the movie anymore. I just like to check back in with all of you.
We've taken the message of the film to heart. We are opening ourselves to the love that is out there. And as evidenced by this thread alone, it's all over the world. Sometimes the love we need isn't in our own backyards, as Dorothy would have us believe. But somehow we all found each other. I don't consider the hours I've spent here to be hours I've spent alone at my computer. They've been hours I've spent cultivating friendships in New York, LA, Indiana, Colorado, Germany, India, the UK, Illinios, Connecticut, Australia, etc. You've proven to be thoughtful, compassionate, intelligent, funny, and for those of you I have met or spoken to, wonderful company. As someone else said earlier in the thread, I've never been part of an online community. Now I know why they exist and why they're so popular. We are something to be cherished.
So when someone close to you doesn't get it, you can smile tolerantly and with sage wisdom, knowing that what they think is freaky is actually fulfilling in a way that one can't know until one experiences it. It has been and will continue to be my unexpressable privilege to share the experience.
Much love to you all,
Kirk
