One of the most wierd aspects of Ennis (the whole character that I see in myself and also, of all people, in my late FATHER!) is that he seems to be only attracted to ONE man. I can't quite believe that there could exist such a person. If he was a 'top', wouldn't he have enjoyed checking out the tight rears of the Riverton locals? (I hate to stereocast him as a 'top' now, but when I came out at 19 in 1973 the lines were pretty "straight" forward.)
But (or BUTT if you prefer), Annie writes, "You know, I was sittin up here all that time tryin to figure out if I was --? I know I ain't. I mean here we both got wives and kids, right? I like doin it with women, yeah, but ..., ain't nothin like this. I never had no thoughts a doin it with another guy except I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin about you.
Are any of you like that? Or am I way out there? Thanks for reading this!
This is the first thing i read here and yeah some of us are like that. When i found The Guy, I never wanted anybody else, ever. Sure you can look, but it doesn't mean much.... people look. My 86 year old aunt looks.
When that had to end, i never had sex with any male ever again. There was no point to it: just for the sex?? Who cared. I'm not gay however, I'm bisexual and suspected it from damned near puberty. For me it's not about the sex it's about the emotional attachment, the ability to connect with someone on the same level whether they are male or female. Any other guy would have been 'settling' and to hell with that. Some people think being bisexual--really bisexual, not dabbling on the other side of whatever fence you're claiming--well, some think it's easier because you can choose from both.
It's not. It's harder. You aren't really accepted by gay or str8, each looks askance at you. Why? Because i think most of the supposed people the world labels bi aren't...every really bi male I know says the same thing, that being bi isn't about the sex, it's about the ability to have an emotional attachment with someone of either sex, as deep with a man as it is with a woman and vice versa.
Now when we broke up i got set up on a date by a gay friend with a humongeous blonde blue-eyed known to be horse-hung FDNY God on a Harley. We ended up talking until dawn and are still friends. That was the date. I had no desire to have sex with a guy just for the sex. My BF, he was genuinely bi as well. He DID have sex. ONCE. He ended up puking in a park on the way home and never did it again either.
Don't get me wrong, i've never cheated on anyone within a committed relationship, ever, but OUTSIDE of one I enjoyed myself. I liked the girls better then the guys--even though you had to work for sex with a woman -- because the guys were soooo full of shit emotionally: the girls, even the drama queens were more honest as a whole. The men?? the sex was comically easy, so outside of relationships I went with them, but insofar as having a male RELATIONSHIP>>>>
Nope. I didn't find a BF until I was in my 30's. That was the one above. When it was over, no way I was goin a even bother trying because He Was the One.
Today we are the closest of friends because of Brokeback Mountain. He got married in the 4 years we didn't see each other even as friends, I'm getting married in January and he is Best Man. There is an intimacy between us which we both NEED, not want. But as for sex? Naw. It's someone else's turn for that. And I don't miss it at all, i have what I need from him as a bi male: the emotional underpinnings of the Dozy Embrace. i will venture to answer for him as well, and say he too has what he needs. Never found anything to disprove it or disbelieve what he's told me.
