Author Topic: One Man Men  (Read 52001 times)

Offline JT

  • Brokeback Mountain Resident
  • ****
  • Posts: 248
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #80 on: November 04, 2006, 02:10:45 pm »
I agree.  I don't see Ennis going with anyone else.  I belief Jack was his one and only man. 

Offline brokebackjack

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 817
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #81 on: November 13, 2006, 06:18:07 am »
One of the most wierd aspects of Ennis (the whole character that I see in myself and also, of all people, in my late FATHER!) is that he seems to be only attracted to ONE man.  I can't quite believe that there could exist such a person.  If he was a 'top', wouldn't he have enjoyed checking out the tight rears of the Riverton locals?  (I hate to stereocast him as a 'top' now, but when I came out at 19 in 1973 the lines were pretty "straight" forward.)

But (or BUTT if you prefer), Annie writes, "You know, I was sittin up here all that time tryin to figure out if I was --?  I know I ain't. I mean here we both got wives and kids, right? I like doin it with women, yeah, but ..., ain't nothin like this.  I never had no thoughts a doin it with another guy except I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin about you.

Are any of you like that?  Or am I way out there?  Thanks for reading this!

This is the first thing i read here and yeah some of us are like that. When i found The Guy, I never wanted anybody else, ever. Sure you can look, but it doesn't mean much.... people look. My 86 year old aunt looks.

When that had to end, i never had sex with any male ever again. There was no point to it: just for the sex?? Who cared. I'm not gay however, I'm bisexual and suspected it from damned near puberty. For me it's not about the sex it's about the emotional attachment, the ability to connect with someone on the same level whether they are male or female. Any other guy would have been 'settling' and to hell with that.  Some people think being bisexual--really bisexual, not dabbling on the other side of whatever fence you're claiming--well, some think it's easier because you can choose from both.

It's not. It's harder. You aren't really accepted by gay or str8, each looks askance at you. Why? Because i think  most of the supposed people the world labels bi aren't...every really bi male I know says the same thing, that being bi isn't about the sex, it's about the ability to have an emotional attachment with someone of either sex, as deep with a man as it is with a woman and vice versa.

Now when we broke up i got set up on a date by a gay friend with a humongeous blonde blue-eyed known to be horse-hung FDNY God on a Harley. We ended up talking until dawn and are still friends. That was the date. I had no desire to have sex with a guy just for the sex. My BF, he was genuinely bi as well. He DID have sex. ONCE. He ended up puking in a park on the way home and never did it again either.   

Don't get me wrong, i've never cheated on anyone within a committed relationship, ever, but OUTSIDE of one I enjoyed myself. I liked the girls better then the guys--even though you had to work for sex with a woman -- because the guys were soooo full of shit emotionally: the girls, even the drama queens were more honest as a whole. The men?? the sex was comically easy, so outside of relationships I went with them, but insofar as having a male RELATIONSHIP>>>>??? Nope. I didn't find a BF until I was in my 30's. That was the one above. When it was over, no way I was goin a even bother trying because He Was the One.

Today we are the closest of friends because of Brokeback Mountain. He got married in the 4 years we didn't see each other even as friends, I'm getting married in January and he is Best Man. There is an intimacy between us which we both NEED, not want. But as for sex? Naw. It's someone else's turn for that. And I don't miss it at all, i have what I need from him as a bi male: the emotional underpinnings of the Dozy Embrace. i will venture to answer for him as well, and say he too has what he needs. Never found anything to disprove it or disbelieve what he's told me.
"I couldn't stand it no more so i fixed it"

Offline brokebackjack

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 817
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #82 on: November 13, 2006, 06:24:19 am »
Interesting point, Herr Kaiser! Hadn't thought of that. That's one anachronism I don't mind, though.

Back for a moment to regional touching differences. I'm from Minnesota, and when I lived in New Orleans in the early '90s, the hardest thing to get used to was kissing. Hugging I could handle, no problem. But kissing? Coworkers would kiss if they ran into each other at a movie theater. The only time a Minnesotan would ever kiss a coworker is if they got too drunk at the Christmas party.

I moved back to Minnesota after seven years and, in a way, it was a relief. But then again, I kind of missed it. I notice people are starting to do more kissing here now.


I didn't find it unrealistic at all, they were in the middle of nowhere. they chilled out in front of the girls, and iced up when the white pickup drove by.  But when they first hugged, was the most natural thing around, they'd been sleeping with each other for 10 years.
"I couldn't stand it no more so i fixed it"

Offline brokebackjack

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 817
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #83 on: November 13, 2006, 06:30:36 am »
Re affection in general--regional and ethnic differences matter a lot. Just as the member from NO/Minn said. I was born in NY to an Italian mother to an irish father, there was always hugging etc on the Italian side and none on the Irish side...except from my father.
The Italian guys thought nothing of a hug or greeting kiss---the irish boys just shook their heads and made witty comments lol. Being both I hung with the Irish, dressed like the Italians and very quietly did my thing in other places while I tried to figure myself out roflmao.
"I couldn't stand it no more so i fixed it"

Offline Aussie Chris

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 613
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #84 on: November 13, 2006, 08:30:34 am »
It's not. It's harder. You aren't really accepted by gay or str8, each looks askance at you. Why? Because i think  most of the supposed people the world labels bi aren't...every really bi male I know says the same thing, that being bi isn't about the sex, it's about the ability to have an emotional attachment with someone of either sex, as deep with a man as it is with a woman and vice versa...

Thanks for posting this brokebackjack.  I admit that the psychology of bisexuality is intriguing to me.  The reality is that we are all limited in our understanding of other orientations as we can only view them from within the context of our own.  So I have little choice but to try to interpret your description of bisexuals through my gay eyes.  For my part, I've never thought of bisexuals as sexually indecisive.  They're definitely different to me because I don't feel a physical attraction to women although I have a strong spiritual connection with them.  I sometimes wish I could have a physical attraction to women because I figure that this would give me choice, and then at least I would be given the option (*) of leading a straight life, but to be honest the majority of straight men demonstrate qualities and a state of mind that I would not want to emulate.  The (*) there was my acknowledgement that this is a simplistic view based on a gay-biased interpretation.

The thing I'd like to acknowledge here is the fact that bisexuality is seen by some to be the least of all orientations.  The straights are against you because you sleep with men, but gays also resent you because you consort with the "enemy".  Personally I envy you because you because you have choice.  Buy I think we can all too easily fall in to envying the greener grass on the other side of the fence.  I would love to hear a little more about the challenges of bisexuality, if there is more to tell.  I don't find it that unusual to be attracted to the qualities of a person, rather than just sex. But the contradiction is that if you find someone like that, they are physically hot and you want to have sex with them.

<sigh> being human is so much about duality... ;)
Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable - William Shakespeare

Offline brokebackjack

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 817
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #85 on: November 13, 2006, 08:51:39 am »
Sure, I don't mind talking about it at all. But not now, i was up half the night and have to go dig out a stump in ICY cold weather now lol.
"I couldn't stand it no more so i fixed it"

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,909
  • Brokeback got us good.
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #86 on: November 13, 2006, 10:37:39 am »
Thank you for that very insightful and moving post, brokebackjack. Maybe the title of this topic should be "One Person People." (Do I hear Barbra warming up in the background?) Anyway, I have felt that jolt too and I doubt if I'll ever feel it again now matter where on this rugged old road I roam, whether just keeping to one road or travelling both, as you've done. It's as natural as can be to want to seek union with the beloved, who can take any kind of manifestation. It appears that your upbringing allowed you to seize the opportunity when and however it presented itself!

"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Momof2

  • Sr. Ranch Hand
  • ***
  • Posts: 117
  • BLISS
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #87 on: November 14, 2006, 03:29:59 pm »
I think there are alot of people who have strong emotional bonds to people of both sexes that can or not be sexual.  I have an extremely strong bond (need) for someone that I loved a very long time ago that was sexual. 

I am married (straight) and LOVE men.  I love the way a man's body looks. I love the little V before the penis.  I think a man's penis is gorgeous.  Love having sex with my husband.  But on the other hand, I have an extremely strong erotic attraction to women.  I have friends that are lesbians and have always wondered.  But to me, I think if I did have sex with a woman it would be for purely sexual reasons.  The bond might come later.  It is so confusing.  I have always been intrigued by bisexuality.  Is it having the best of both worlds???
I wish I knew how to quit you.

Offline Front-Ranger

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,909
  • Brokeback got us good.
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #88 on: December 06, 2007, 11:33:16 pm »
Here's where we first discussed the question, why did Jack and Ennis go off in separate directions when they left Brokeback Mountain?
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Artiste

  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • ********
  • Posts: 15,998
Re: One Man Men
« Reply #89 on: December 09, 2007, 06:38:47 pm »
According to the film, it seems, to me, obvious that Ennis is an one man's man, indeed!!


Is that so in the book?

P.S., I often wondered and still do what is an one man's man!! Al ady neighbour said that often to me about her nephew she lived with, and/or I (maybe too, I think). But I never thought that nephew to be a gay man. But she found out that I was a gay man (I was then about 16 or so), since I saved his life!

Hugs!!